1Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
Warning: Implied rape. Slight mental breakdown.
Song of Inspiration: Suna by Nightmare.
"Just think of sand."
It's the strangest thing that Sam has ever heard Lucifer say - the hallucination of Lucifer, rather. He still has to remind himself, sometimes, that this one isn't real - and that's saying something. He's heard the thingpersonthingAngelhallucination say many things in its time with him, most of them designed to torture him. But this...this was just weird.
"And what good's that going to do me?" The growl in his voice makes his words much lower than he intended. "How's that supposed to help me?"
Lucifer (notLuciferit'snotLucifer) smiles at him and reaches out a hand and Sam has to fight the instinct to flinch, to fight the instinct because this isn't real. Lucifer (NOT LUCIFER) doesn't do anything to him, though, just pushes back a lock of hair that's escaped from behind his ear like some guy would do in a Harlequin romance novel. "I'm just trying to be nice, Sam." The smirk in his voice is easy to interpret but Sam won't look at his face, because he isn't. Here. "You'd think I was going to hurt you. But I'll never hurt you, Sam. I want to help you."
Help him, like he had helped him in the cage when he had hurt him and the whips and chains and choking and dying and the fire and God, it had hurt, but God wasn't listening anymore, was he? He was out on vacation, leave a message at the beep, he'll get back to you never, nope. God wasn't there anymore and Sam didn't know if he ever had been or if he wanted him to be or-
"Sam, are you listening to me?" The voice is right by his ear now and Sam jumps, feels hands lock around his wrists, tries, tries so hard, to try and twist away but his mind (it's all in his mind, just his mind) keeps him rooted where he is and he has to fight not to scream because he can't afford to because Dean will be back in the room soon, he promised, he promised...
"Oh, yes, big brother did promise, didn't he, Sammy?" The lips are right against his ear now and he can feel the curve of them as they tug upward, smile-smirk-sneer he doesn't know which. "But big brother will never keep another promise to you. Remember, he isn't here. You're stuck with me, Bunk Buddy. No one else."
These words actually make him flinch and suddenly the whole thing changes. Lucifer's hands are rubbing his wrists instead of holding them down and he's nuzzling against Sam's hair like he wants to just stay there, buried inside of it. "It's okay, Sammy. It's okay. I'm not here to hurt you. I promise. And I've never lied to you, have I?"
Yesnoyesnoyes he had lied no, he hadn't but Sam couldn't say it because noyesno kept up an endless stream in his mind and he was fighting to even think straight because he couldn't think with Lucifer's breath in his ear like that, couldn't think, he couldn't think and Lucifer was talking again, "You see, Sam, just think of it like sand. It's like us, you know. We're small particles in the infinite space but we have so much weight on it all...it's not a bad thing, you know, Sam." Another grin that he can feel as Lucifer kisses the back of his neck. "You and I, we're always shifting, Sammy. But that just makes us so beautiful. So just think of sand..." The sound of a zipper echoes and Sam tries to whimper but he's shushed by Lucifer's soft words, "Just think of sand..."