since i've known i have been like this damaged goods. my foster parents were right. I'm worthless.

im useless, i have an artificial leg, desperate times call for desperate measures. i originally lost my leg to an 'accident' at home.

it was all my fault and i should have seen it coming. throughout my life i have been everywhere. thanks to those bloody foster care systems who can't do f-ing background checks. every since my parents died when i was 6 years old, iv'e been through hell.

sometimes i wish i could have died too, maybe i wouldn't have to endure the suffering, or the pain or the...loss.i don't know what I've done to make the world hate me so much. but everywhere i go people can't seem to understand me, I'm yet to find someone who will except me for who i am.

but i have never been one to complain. i always find a way just like i have since i was 12 years old. I've been abused,neglected left for dead. now I'm homeless what difference does it make. and the worst part is maybe just maybe i would be able to survive if i had some one there.

but now I'm not alone, not anymore. just me and Ciqala, were a pack. we would never abandon each other. he is my only friend and companion. he keeps me safe and protects me.

i just wish that it wasn't just me and him sometime. human company would be so much better. your probably wondering what and who ciqala is. he is my mexican grey wolf, he is only 3 years old but he protects me with his life. i couldn't ask for anyone better. and i know that he will never leave me.

i am now 17. according to governmental laws or whatever i don't exist. don't ask me how but i think i like it better this way. nothing holding me down,although sometimes i wish there was. sometime i wish that i had overprotect parents who don't let their child go anywhere. better ti have someone than no one right?

yes it is selfish. but when you don't have it you crave it.i always see these passing families sometimes walking in the street, by the river fishing,hiking. being a someone there to catch you when you fall. someone who always has your back. i mean i always have ciqala, but that just isn't the same.

there are times when i feel like I'm gonna disappear. that I'm so scared of loosing myself i have a panic attack. then there are the times when I'm afraid to close my eyes. scared that when i open them i will be back with that horrid family. that this is all a dream.

but sometimes there are those days where me and ciqala will just wonder through the forest. be together, just me and him. we go hunting together, chase each other , play. protect each other. and are there when the other one wakes up.

living like this isn't much of a life.i wouldn't want a life were there is so much food you can feed an army. or were I'm surrounded by luxurious items. expensive jewellery, or gadgets. fancy gizmos .everything i wouldn't make me happy because thats not me.

i don't want that life i want a life were there is enough food to live on and maybe some to spare,a life were if i really wanted to i would be able to save up and by a luxurious i would have one piece of jewellery that had enough value to gizmo maybe a phone for that i can have that are i can be able t buy cloths but only the ones i need.

instead i live a life were on a good day i find enough food for me and ciqala to have to keep us going. i have cloths that are ripped to shreds with holes one them, and stains.i don't even have shoes. i don't own any jewellery, luxurious items or fancy gizmos. thats the life i live. the only thing i always carry with me is my bag. it has an extra top and trousers and underwear.i have a swiss army knife and an empty bottle if i come across clean water. and i have no money.

then theres just me and ciqala, thats my life.