Baby Steps

shika hiiragizawa

Summary: A certain Tomoyo Daidouji finds out that the rumors about her husband, Eriol Hiiragizawa, cheating on her, were true, and so she leaves him. Incidentally, she gets pregnant with his child, and struggles to make it through, not quite alone, but with her new child. A story of independence and inner strength, and maybe, just maybe, true love. ExT.


shika: Hi guys! I just wanted to write something (not because I was cheated on, mind you!) just to share my thoughts. I want a story that was different, and I hope I don't get flames for this. I want to write something about women, for women. This is only the start, and I hope you guys like it.


The weak, yellowish light of the lamp perfectly obscured her unfathomable expression. The lights were turned off and the blinds were drawn. All that was seen was her ghostly silhouette as she sat on the black couch beside the lamp in the sitting room.

She crossed her legs and pursed her lips, looking completely cold and unreadable, when in truth, she was shaking with anxiety inside. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the bubbling sensation inside her chest. Was she supposed to believe the rumors of him being with another girl? Of holding hands and entering a motel? But they were just rumors, weren't they? And he was her husband, for goodness' sake! They had been together for 7 years, since they were 16. They were happily married at 21, and he still told her she looked pretty, and gave her multitudes of gifts and flowers. They did it almost half the time. There was no sign of him getting tired of her. All the same, she found herself falling for him more, instead of getting used to him.

So why believe rumors? That's why they were called rumors – because they weren't real. Because it was just some fictitious tale someone cooked up.

But what if that someone was her best friend, Sakura, and her older brother, Touya, who had seen it? What if it was Yukito who called her out for a drink just to tell her he had seen him kissing this particular girl near the park?

What was she supposed to believe, her friends' statements, or his enigmatic smile that never failed to make her knees turn to jelly?

She had no more time to decide, for she already heard the door swing, and his quiet whisper of her name.

"I thought you were asleep," he muttered, taking off his coat and leaving it by the rack beside the door, "the lights are off – but the lamp – " she never saw his expression in the darkness as he paused, dropping his briefcase and walking to her. "Darling, are you alright?"

Damn him for asking stupid questions, because if her friends' statements were true, he already knew the answer. Damn him for taking her face in his hands, and letting her see the genuine expression of concern etched on his face, gorgeous despite the hideous yellow light. He studied her face for a moment before he closed the gap between them and kissed her fully on the lips. She sighed in the kiss as he probed inside her mouth, letting her taste the cigarette he just had before entering the house.

"Tell me, Tomoyo," he whispered as she broke from the kiss, pushing him away from her. "You hate this lamp. You never turn it on."

But she did not answer. She had been thinking of this for a while, but why had she forgotten of thinking of how to start the conversation! What kind of wife was she, that she couldn't even ask that from her husband, who he was legally hers for eternity?

"Tomoyo…" his lips found hers again, trying to plead with her in the kiss. His hands slid to her buttocks, and she felt the chair leave her as he carried her to their room. He laid her on the bed, his lips tracing her neck and her collarbone.

But she pushed him away again, and this time, Eriol did not bother to hide the pained expression on his face.

"Eriol…" she finally whispered, "someone told me…" she bit her lip and turned away from him, unable to speak any longer.

"Told you what, Tomoyo?" he asked, anxious. He held her chin and gently made her face him. Tomoyo closed her eyes when she saw that his blue eyes were filled with genuine warmth and concern. How could someone so sincere cheat on her? How could Eriol do that? She had known him well enough to know when he was keeping something from her. And right now, she knew he wasn't.

So her trusted friends were wrong?

Everything just seemed to be complicated.

"Just kiss me, please," she whispered.

His lips locked with hers without any hesitation. Their tongues fought for dominance, and with each second, Tomoyo slowly began to forget why she was angry in the first place. He trailed kisses down her jaw to her neck, and within minutes, Tomoyo already melted in his arms.

Of course, Tomoyo wanted to reciprocate his ministrations, so she kissed his lips, his collarbones and his shoulders as well, feeling the need to disregard his neck. They had done this almost forever, and she knew Eriol didn't particularly like being touched, let alone kissed, at that part. He had some sort of accident years ago which included hitting his neck with something sharp, which nearly killed him, and so he had that sort of trauma when something neared that particular part of his body. She understood clearly, and she loved him enough to give him what he needed.

The two were lost in their love-making, groaning and moaning each others' names through the night. It was not until Tomoyo had reached her 5th orgasm (or maybe it was more?) for the night that she noticed something reddish against Eriol's pale skin. She squinted through the moonlight, her hazy, lust-filled mind slowly registering where the spot was. She couldn't ask Eriol because was already fast asleep, having given her all his stamina, which, if he weren't so tired from work, would have lasted the whole night.

Was it a rash? She probed her memories, and thought that if a mosquito bit his neck, he would endure the itch, because he could hardly touch his own neck. As she squinted closer, she saw that it was bigger than a mosquito bite, and it looked just like the hickeys he left on her skin. That couldn't be, her befuddled mind thought, I never kissed him there, let alone suck his skin.

Realization hit her like a wave crashing onto the sand. She stifled a sob as she remembered all the times when Eriol told her not to stroke his neck, and how it was hard for him to take a bath, because it meant he had to clean it. He would wince every time the towel came into contact with his neck, and that was the only time he did so, because he knew he'd have to clean his body. And his cleaning would never cause the round spot on his neck, because he always used such gentleness on that particular spot, scared to bruise it. And yet… there was a kissmark on his neck. It glared at her like it was some sort of proof. Well, in this case, it was actually proof.

My friends weren't lying, she wept bitterly.

She gently heaved Eriol off her chest. Luckily, he was out like a light, so he barely stirred as she moved him away. He was also lucky that Tomoyo had kept all her anger to herself, because, had this purple-eyed beauty expressed her feelings, she would have strangled the exact spot where the hickey lay, even if she knew how he was sensitive to it.

She emptied her drawers as quietly as she could, with the moonlight guiding her. Tears fell from her eyes, but she did not sob, because she was afraid he might wake up. She put her wedding ring on their bedside table and wept until dawn. Before her husband could stir, though, she gathered her bags and fled, without even a letter or a note.

It was not until an hour later that a certain Eriol Hiiragizawa would notice his wife's disappearance and search the whole place for her. He would see her wedding ring on his table, scream out of fury and pain, and notice the red spot on his neck, just above his collarbone, on the mirror beside the ring, like she intentionally left it there for him. And then, he would understand why she left, and what he had done to make her leave.


shika: I hope this doesn't sound cliche or anything? Well, I would like to hear your thoughts about this, because your comments and suggestions are music to my ears. =)

Thanks for reading! XOXO