Joe's Note: Interesting little tidbit I discovered when I was crunching the data to construct a student body that was a proportional microcosm of the United Kingdom and Ireland. Which was what Rowling did on her original class list, hence my interest in doing so. Anyway, there's about a two percent "Other White" population that contains everything from continental Europeans to Americans to the child of two Russian nationals who was born on British soil and therefore has citizenship but doesn't consider himself to be 'White British'. And among people from that last category - "Other White born in the UK but not White British" - the United States was the single largest category. Granted you're looking at percentages that would give you maybe one student in five hundred or so… but theoretically Mary Sue the Perfect American Exchange Student could actually be attending Hogwarts in the canon universe too. Or perhaps even Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way with her trunk full of Hot Topic clothes.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Howard, Cyle, Tibor, Burgesse, Daniel, ReaperCB919, WildMartin, Sam, LazyG3nius22, Arkantos59, Glenn, mpotato, Gerald, Adrien, Roofcrawler, PbookR, Charles, Crygon20, Fablesrogue, Morgan, Joseph, Ziryo, enygma, MJ, William, Wil, Reinhold, fungame2, Beeknees, UncreativeName01, Zordmon, Darrell, HaunzGruber, David, TheTenthAncestor, bloodylord, Lookshy, James, Wesley, Roman, and Warren for sponsoring me on P-treon, and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.


June 26, 1996
The Hogwarts Express
Somewhere Between Hogsmeade and London


"Am I interrupting anything?"

"Harry!" Hermione looked from Morag to the newly arrived Harry and back several times before raising her hands from where they'd been resting on Morag's hips. "It's not what it looks like."

Her denial was pretty plainly betrayed by her swollen lips, mussed hair, and the thin strand of saliva that had been connecting her lips to Morag's until she'd turned to look at him, but Harry decided humor her for the moment. "It's not? Then... what exactly is it? Because it certainly looks interesting."

Chuckling softly, Morag tipped herself to the side and drew her leg back across Hermione's lap as she twisted around into a seated position next to the muggleborn. Smoothing her skirt down, she brought her head down to rest on Hermione's shoulder as she stared up at him. "Oh, it's exactly what it looks like. I was offering Illyria a fairly thorough firsthand demonstration of what I had to offer to her as a follower. Granger's not a bad kisser for someone who probably learned how to do it from a book. Would still rather kiss Her Godliness herself, but she's not a bad substitute. Bit of wandering hands, which I wasn't expecting but definitely am not complaining about."

As Hermione blushed and stammered before ultimately burying her face in her hands, Harry stepped into the compartment and closed the door behind himself. Stepping over where Ron still lay prone on the floor, he casually took a seat next to Illyria and hesitated for a second before looping an arm around her shoulders. He decided that he'd made the right move when she leaned in towards him and he bumped his cheek against the top her head gently. "Where did we lose Ginny and Neville to?"

"Morag made it clear that she wanted a minimal audience for her demonstration, and I was curious enough to humor her. So I encouraged them to make themselves scarce." Illyria pushed an image of herself handing several coins to Neville into Harry's head before peering up at him. "In my opinion, it was funds well spent."

Harry smirked as he looked over at Morag and Hermione. "So is the demonstration over? Because I can always get Illyria to share what she saw with me, but it might be a more effective demonstration with two sets of eyes to observe it."

Even as Morag let out a burble of laughter at his words, Hermione let out a mortified whine and glared at him over the tops of her fingers, her face flushed almost as red as their house colors. "Harry James Potter! You know exactly what was going on when you walked in and I will absolutely not do it again for your... perverse viewing pleasure."

"Eh, it's okay. I'm pretty sure that I'll get to see Morag kiss at least one more girl around me if things work out the way she's hoping, and she says you weren't that good at it anyway." Ignoring Hermione's offended huff, Harry waved dismissively before turning his attention to Illyria. "So, this is why you were so quiet while I was wandering around with Tracey? You were enjoying the demonstration?"

The corner of Illyria's mouth quirked upward subtly as she nodded in Morag's direction. "It was enlightening. Although I do not understand why she offered to demonstrate on Hermione instead of asking me to participate directly. I feel like it would have been a significantly more convincing demonstration that way."

Eyes widening, Morag looked back and forth between Harry and Illyria before pointing at the two of them accusingly. "That was an option? Why didn't anyone tell me that was an option? I absolutely would have kissed you if I'd known that was a possibility."

Harry looked down at Illyria curiously. The two of them occasionally slept together, or rather Illyria lay against him and played with his hair until he fell asleep before moving away. They hugged. She was fond of sitting - or perhaps sprawling was the better word - on him. She'd never tried to take it any further, and he'd been too inexperienced with girls to try and make a move himself.

This raised all sorts of questions about the future of their relationship, though, if she was in fact open to his attention the same way that Luna was. Although it did make him wonder, was her willingness to consort with Morag a 'spark' or something unique to Illyria? Morag had confessed that she found Luna attractive enough. Luna certainly had never been shy when it came to expressing her thoughts. If she'd been interested in Morag and Morag had been interested in her? Something would have happened before her death and Illyria's resurrection... right?

A hand squeezing his thigh firmly drew him out of his thoughts as Illyria cocked her head to the side curiously. "Given that you expressed curiosity to my Qwa'ha Xahn about 'how far down the blue goes', I was surprised that you wanted to perform for me with Hermione rather than trying to find an answer for yourself as Harry suggested."

"It was the less intimidating option! I can't just ask you to make out! You're Potter's... whatever... and can crush my skull like a watermelon if I offend you. Granger was the safe option." Leaning forward across the gap between their seats, Morag's leering gaze roamed up and down over Illyria's form. "In that case... I wouldn't mind giving another demonstration that Potter can watch."

Illyria leaned back in her seat before pressing tucking herself more closely into Harry's side "I never said that I would agree to such a thing, simply that I was surprised you didn't suggest it given how forward you are." Peeking up at Harry, Illyria hummed softly. "No, I would not have agreed. The privilege of my first kiss will go to my Qwa'ha Xahn, no other."

Before Harry could properly unpack that - namely, that Illyria definitely intended to act on Luna's urges at some unknown point in the future - Morag's eager gaze jumped from Illyria over to Harry. "From what I hear, he's already had his first kiss. Any objections to me being his second?"

One one hand, the fact that she seemed equally interested in both him and Illyria certainly boded well for her chances of being allowed near either of them. Whatever relationship dynamic Illyria was intending for him in the future could only be improved by the girl wanting to interact with Illyria equally. On the other hand... Harry was very new to being in a relationship of any sort, much less something as non-traditional and unconventional as his bond with Illyria. Would she be okay with the idea of him kissing another girl in front of her, or was that the sort of thing that he would be expected to do in private? She obviously hadn't minded watching Hermione kiss Morag, but Hermione wasn't her Qwa'ha Xahn. And... why was he sitting here pondering this when he could go straight to the source for an answer. 'Illyria?'

'While I objected to sharing you with Voldemort, I have no such problems with sharing you with Morag. Or Tracey. Or Tracey, Morag, and possibly Narcissa Black? Something to discuss further when a potential mate for you isn't sitting in front of you waiting for an answer.' Illyria peered up at him for a moment before slowly and awkwardly pressing her lips against his jaw. Then she inclined her head in Morag's direction. 'If you are willing, it could prove to be... illuminative.'

So in other words... Illyria was a jealous and vengeful god - and a bit controlling - with the noteworthy exception of when it came to finding him potential partners that she might be able to stud him out to in order to produce offspring that might be useful to her future plans. Was that really all there was to her interest, though? 'You never really did explain to me why you want to see me with other girls. Apart from the 'magnificent offspring' thing. Which I feel isn't exactly a seemly reason for me to be getting into a relationship with one other woman, much less the three you seem to be aiming for.'

Illyria arched an eyebrow at him. 'Most men in your situation would not be objecting but... if you must know? I do not experience time the same way that you do; while it passes linearly for me, I can control its ebb and flow and so what passes as a few hours of sleep for you unfurls into an eon of meditative introspection and contemplation on my part. And one thing that those nights have given me is time to acknowledge by own limitations and shortcomings in this new existence of mine. We are currently bound magically in a manner similar to marriage, and I have broached the subject of bonding with you legally in such a way at some point in the future. But while being my Qwa'ha Xahn means that you will not want for power, safety, security, and will enjoy a long and satisfying life at my right hand... even my great power cannot give you everything that you may desire. Chief among those things is a family to carry on your own legacy, but I must also consider the fact that at the end of the day, our relationship will always be a pale imitation of what you could have with another because you are human and I am not. I possess the sparks of Luna Lovegood due to her willing sacrifice, but I am not her and I never will be here. Nor do I want to be. And so even though I am coming to embrace this strange, hybrid existence that I have found myself reborn into, I will never think or act the same way as a mortal woman. Through history, most of my Qwa'ha Xahn have been mated to others rather than serving me unconditionally. And I encouraged it, because they deserved to live their lives to the fullest extent possibly while in service to me.'

That was very... vulnerable of her. And introspective. Harry had known that the Qwa'ha Xahn was a favored position within an Old One's hierarchy, but he hadn't really properly comprehended how much Illyria valued one. Or was this an evolution of her previous behavior towards her Qwa'ha Xahns colored by the remnants of Luna inside of her? Either way, he felt like now was an appropriate time to be reassuring since she was baring what passed for her soul to him. 'I have no idea how relationships are supposed to work or what proper human affection is supposed to be like. I really don't mind the idea of just the two of us stumbling through this together, if that's honestly what you're worried about. Kids aren't really an issue that I'd get hung up on, either. As an orphan, I'm wholly aware of the fact that there are children out there without parents or loving families. We could make our way through life just the two of us, and then create a family in our own way when the time was right. If you wanted. Granted it doesn't get you the 'magnificent offspring' that you wanted, but I'm sure that any child raised by the two of us would turn out to be...' Harry trailed off. While he'd like to think that he would be a far better parent to any child he someday had or adopted, he couldn't realistically say the same about Illyria. She'd try, but she'd never be a loving mother any more than she'd be a loving wife. At least in a typical human sense. While what she could give might prove to be enough for him, would it be enough for their theoretical child to turn out happy and healthy?

'While I find it gratifying that you would attempt to assuage my concerns in such a way, there is also the matter of Lady Potter to consider.' Tilting her head upward, Illyria brushed her forehead against Harry's gently before offering a faint smile. 'When this war of yours is won and we settle in to enjoy my new reign over your society, I would make a perfectly terrible pureblood wife by wizarding social standards. Therefore we must endeavor to find you someone who would do better. But Lady Potter is a matter that we can discuss in more depth another day. Are you going to kiss Morag or not?'

Harry considered the question for a few seconds before gathering his courage and pressing his lips to Illyria's. Her blue eyes went wide as she sat there stiffly staring back at him, and so he quickly pulled away before winking at her. 'Cho may have been a waste of my first kiss, but that doesn't mean I can't make my second kiss more memorable.' Turning to Morag, who had at some point relaxed back into her seat with a contemplative look on her face, he gestured back and forth between the two of them. "Is that offer still available? Second kiss is off the table, but third kiss is still available."

Leaning forward again, Morag inched up to the edge of the bench seat with a playful grin on her face. "I really enjoy being a new experience for someone. If I can't be your first kiss, can I get on your lap like I was with Granger and be your first arse grab?" Leaning even closer, she lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I was Granger's first kiss, first boob grab, and first arse grab. You have no idea how exciting that was for me."

Wow, he'd certainly missed an entertaining show. Judging from the way that Hermione was blushing anew, Morag wasn't exaggerating in the least, either. At least she wasn't asking him to grab her chest. Or sign it, like Susan had. That alone meant that while she was forward, she wasn't necessarily the most forward person he'd dealt with today. Idly, Harry wondered how Tracey would react to finding out that he kissed Morag. She'd seemed amenable enough to sharing him with Susan, and there was clearly at least a friendship between the redhead and Morag. Then again, being willing to share him with Susan didn't mean that she'd want to share herself with Susan. It made him curious what sort of relationship Illyria might have with Tracey... and if she'd prefer the relationship would have with Morag if he took her as a partner. And... Harry blushed as Morag continued to stare at him expectantly. Right. The kissing. He could save pondering theoretical relationship dynamics for later. Inching away from Illyria so she'd have some room to rest her legs, Harry patted his lap gently. "I can't even say that you'll be the first Scottish girl I'll kiss because... Cho."

Crossing the distance between them, Morag let out a huff as she straddled his lap and lowered herself to sit on his thighs. "Yeah, I've got fairly awfully luck trying to follow her. First kiss, first Scottish girl, first Ravenclaw, first older girl..."

Harry brought his hands up to rest safely on her hips as he leaned his head back to stare up at her. "We're both fifth years. How would you be an older girl?"

"The same way Hermione is an older girl. My birthday is June 6th. So I'm like, a month and a half older than you." Morag brought her hands up to run through his hair as she stared down at him contemplatively. "Dang, I was going to start getting really specific and be your first blue-eyed girl or something, but..." Trailing off, she nodded in Illyria's direction. "Cho stole first brunette, so I'm out of luck there. Guess you're really going to have to grab my ass so this will be something unique and memorable for you."

Before she could contemplate the matter any further, Harry leaned up and pressed his lips against hers. Unlike with Illyria, Morag was softer and considerably more yielding, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back. Pulling her closer, Harry wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands rest on the small of her back as he considered whether or not to take advantage of the implicit invitation to grab her arse.

An arm threaded its way between Harry and Morag's bodies, and Harry let out a confused noise as a hand came up to cup the brunette's cheek. Their kiss broke as Illyria turned Morag to face her before leaning up to press her own lips against Morag's. It wasn't much more amorous than his own kiss with her, but the fact that she was initiating it said something. When she pulled away, Illyria looked faintly smug. "I imagine that we are probably the first couple that you've ever kissed together."

"Huh. You're not wrong." Morag brought her fingers up to her lips before smiling widely. "Something new for me. That's even more exciting. So does this mean that I've been accepted as a follower?"

Exchanging a look with Harry that he responded to with a vaguely positive mental brush, Illyria nodded. "Look for an owl from one or both of us this summer."


June 26, 1996
King's Cross Railway Station
London, Greater London, England, United Kingdom


Harry was mostly relaxed but still slightly apprehensive as the Hogwarts Express pulled into King's Cross and he disembarked behind Illyria. Primarily relaxed because Illyria seemed to have everything well in hand with plans on top of plans for the foreseeable future. Still, there was a significant intangible approaching them in the form of the Dursleys and despite his best efforts, he couldn't quite predict how they were going to react to the change in status quo. While Vernon Dursley tended to know when he was outmatched, they were still talking about magic and that was one area in which rationality tended to go out the window with uncle.

Directing his trunk forward with a casual wave of his wand, Harry paused and looked around the station curiously even as Illyria led Morag over to where a very muggle-looking couple was standing on the wrong side of the barrier to actually be muggles. It made him realize that he still knew very little about Morag, something that he should probably change given her outsized interest in his companion. And him, after a fashion, it seemed. He still wasn't sure how he felt about that. Flattered, obviously, but he'd been expecting to have to find a girlfriend who would eventually turn into a wife and - if everything went Illyria's way - the mother of his children. Not... whatever Morag was trying to be to him and Illyria simultaneously.

Continuing to look around curiously, Harry hummed softly. Most of the time, he'd pushed straight through and out into the muggle side of the station to meet his relatives, never taking the time to really observe the wizarding world. It really wasn't that different, he mused. Parents and little siblings hugging and talking animatedly with the returning students, friends making last minute arrangements before parting ways… it rather reminded him of the last day of muggle school each year and Harry wondered what certain elements of the wizarding world would think if they knew how similar they were to their non-magical counterparts.

A head of shockingly pink hair caught Harry's attention and he smirked as he allowed himself to be drawn from his meandering thoughts; the 'bodyguard and trainer' he was receiving as per the terms of his new employment contract was right on time. "Wotcher, Harry."

"Wotcher, Tonks." Harry held his hand out to the metamorphmagus and they shook. "Just out of curiosity, how are you taking this? You were the first person I could think of that would satisfy both parties, but if you'd rather not be around me after what I did to Sirius…"

Nymphadora Tonks shook her head before pulling Harry into a hug. "Oh, Harry, of course I don't blame you. If it wasn't to save you, Sirius would have found another reason to force his way out of that house. He was wasting away, trapped inside it. And I definitely don't mind my new j…" Trailing off, Tonks released Harry and stared off at something over his right shoulder. "Can I help you?"

"Probably not. He can, though." The sound of Tracey's familiar voice made Harry turn around quickly, eyes widening as he found himself face-to-face with the entire Greengrass-Davis-Seckford tribe, complete with all three parents. Tracey stood at the front of the group, offering something between a smile and a grimace as she held a handkerchief to her nose. "Just out of curiosity… do you know any girls who look like a girl version of Draco? Our age. Just... Draco but a girl?"

Shooting a look back over his shoulder, Harry frowned as he studied his companion. While Tonks wasn't his age, that was well within her abilities to change if she so chose. And he'd never seen her true form, he somehow doubted that she looked that similar to Draco... or would if she was in her natural form but deaged for some reason. What a conundrum. Turning back to Tracey, he shook his head. "No. Should I?"

There was a brief pause and then Tracey opened her mouth to say something, only to close it and eventually offer a shrug. "Maybe. Anyway, enjoy your summer. I'll keep an eye out for your owl." And without further ado, she wrapped her free hand around Tabitha's wrist and guided her sister off into the surging crowd of people, leaving the rest of her family to ponder the odd interaction for a few seconds before hurrying after her.

Harry watched as the motley group made its way over to the nearby fireplace, and then took a moment to track down Illyria. Still with the MacDougalls. Confident that he had nowhere else he was supposed to be, he turned back to Tonks. "So, where were we?"

"As I was saying before we were interrupted, this new job you got me is great." Tonks held her hand up, rubbing her thumb and index finger together. "All I have to do is hang out with my favorite second cousin once removed, and I can collect my full auror pay plus a stipend from Dumbledore. That's a pretty sweet deal."

Letting out a despondent sigh, Harry shook his head. "Great. I picked you because I like you, but even you're just interested in me for the money these days." He allowed Tonks to sputter denials for a few seconds before looking up and chuckling. "Oh stop, I'm not serious."

"No, you're Harry. Sirius was my cousin."

Harry paused at that. "You know, I never really took advantage of how many bad jokes I could make at his expense when he was still around. Damn it." He realized that he still felt the loss of his godfather, but it wasn't an all-consuming, black pit of despair or anything along those lines. Maybe he was starting to accept the fact Sirius was gone, and so he was finally able to look back on the good things without his brain immediately jumping back to the Death Chamber? But an in-depth analysis of his psyche could wait until they were somewhere more private, he decided. "Anyway, I don't want to make my uncle wait any longer than he has to, so…"

"That… fat bastard… can wait." Illyria announced her return with those words and a silently cast spell, wrapping a blue bubble around him, her, and Tonks. The roaring train station abruptly went silent around them, making Harry look around in curiosity. "A two-way sonic barrier, Harry. It will keep their noise out so we can converse with ease, and our noise in so that we cannot be overheard. Nymphadora-"

"Tonks."

"Nymphadora."

"Tonks."

"Nymphadora…" Illyria narrowed her eyes as if daring the older witch to contradict her again, and Tonks finally held her hands up in surrender. "I require your services at present to deliver a letter to Luna's father. If you would be willing to take on my face, I would adopt your outfit for the duration of your mission to increase your chances of reaching him and making the delivery unopposed."

Harry's brow furrowed as he attempted to puzzle that one out, but Tonks untangled the meaning first and translated for him. "You want us to look like identical twins so that I can get to your father without people causing me problems, because they'll think I'm you and not want to get in my way?"

"Precisely. I will likely require you to take on my appearance in the future as well. However, as you know much more about fashion than either Luna or Harry, I am granting you the honor of deciding upon our wardrobe." Illyria glanced down at herself, and the casual slacks and jumper she'd worn that day melted and reformed into… wow, Tonks had interesting dress sense. A pink bustier with black accents as well as some green for the ties and straps, with the color scheme inverted for her black skirt with pink accents. The pink fishnets that lead down to mismatched socks, as well as the clunky boots with rainbow laces, definitely seemed at home both on Tonks and Luna, though. Still, it was not at all the kind of outfit he expected even a half-blood witch like Tonks to own, or something he ever thought he'd see Luna in someday. Well, Luna's body at least. Illyria looked back up and nodded in satisfaction. "There. Your turn."

"Bloody hell, imagine the money I could save on clothes if I could change my looks and my outfits?" Tonks screwed her face up in concentration and a bit at a time, her body shifted to match Illyria's. The hair was the most interesting to watch, bubblegum pink braids unwinding and morphing into a long blonde mane streaked with blue. The veining along her hairline and other exposed areas of skin took a bit longer to get precisely right, but finally… "How's this?"

Leaning close, Illyria ran her hands over Tonks's shoulders and then down her now identical twin's forearms. "Acceptable, at least for someone with no experience at impersonating me." Stepping back she reached into the book bag she still carried, one of a half-dozen things of Luna's she'd kept, and pulled out a letter. "Deliver this to Xenophilius Lovegood in Ottery St. Catchpole. Luna traditionally took the Knight Bus from King's Cross to The Quibbler's office at the end of term, so try there first. After you deliver the letter, you will rendezvous with us at Number Four Privet Drive."

Tonks looked ready to protest for a moment but Illyria waved her hand and dispelled the charm hiding them, meaning people would soon start noticing that Illyria had multiplied. "Fine, but only this once. I'll be a few different things for you two, but 'owl' isn't on that list." There was a pop and she was gone.

"As if she could stop me from forcing my will upon her if I wanted her services again." Illyria looked amused enough, though, which was good. "Come now, Harry. It's time to introduce me to your family." While he knew that this moment would inevitably come... did he really have to?

Evidently yes, Harry discovered, as Illyria looped her arm through his and dragged him through the barrier that separated Platform Nine and Three-Quarters from the muggle world. As he let Illyria pull him along, he saw Mad-Eye Moody, Remus Lupin, and the Weasley parents waiting off to one side, likely for him. But Illyria cared little for the machinations of Dumbledore and bypassed them, stomping over to the Dursleys. Stopping in front of them, she stared for a moment before waving her hand and recreating the bubble of silence around them. "I am Illyria, and I shall be staying with Harry this summer. Another will be joining us this evening as well. Were you made aware of this in time to prepare for our arrival?"

Vernon went from normal to red to an interesting shade of crimson to purple so fast, Harry wondered if his uncle and Tonks secretly shared the same bloodline. "Boy! What is the meaning of this? I wouldn't even tolerate your freakishness in my house if that headmaster of yours didn't force me to. I won't have any others of your kind taking up room and eating our food the way you have."

A little tendril snaked into his mind and it was then that Harry realized that Illyria didn't monitor him as closely - or constantly - as he had assumed from some of her other comments. 'Sorry, I told Dumbledore I'd do it when appropriate… and I thought this might be the most amusing way. Not to mention, this way I was sure he'd show up and not have moved to India or the Falkland Islands or something to avoid having to house me again.'

'While our present situation is less than ideal, it was ultimately a well conceived plan and reasonably intelligent of you. And this will be amusing. You are forgiven.' The tendril pulled out of his mind and Illyria drew herself up to full height… further, even, as the soles of her boots thickened to give her a few extra centimeters of height. "Perhaps I did not make myself clear enough. I am Illyria the Merciless, God-King of the Primordium and Shaper of Things. I have decided to give your family the honor of receiving me and an attendant for at least two weeks this summer."

Vernon looked over at Harry who nodded. "Remember that man who killed my parents? Lord Voldemort? We talked about him last summer?" Vernon nodded in response and Harry pointed toward Illyria. "She's stronger than him. Spells that would kill a wizard like me, they just bounce off her."

Normal to red to dark crimson to purple and now to white as a sheet. Vernon sure came with a very full range of colors, Harry mused. "I, err, I see. And I'm guessing she's not really a girl your age, and can do you-know-what outside of school?"

"Oh no, Uncle. She's definitely not my age. It's rude to give a woman's exact age away, but…" Harry leaned in and gestured for Vernon to do the same, waiting until his uncle was close enough for him to whisper. "She was around back when wooly mammoths and saber-tooth tigers were running around. And yes, she knows a lot of magic and doesn't even need a wand for most of it."

While Vernon was not the brightest man, or even an intellectually average man, he was aware enough of when he was completely and utterly trapped. "I'm not going to kick my son out of his room or anything. She's staying in your room. You can do you-know-what or stack in there like firewood, I don't care."

"That is acceptable." Vernon jumped back and stared at Illyria in surprise. "Your nephew is my Qwa'ha Xahn. I can choose to hear through his ears, see through his eyes, or even walk in his body should I choose to. And I will use magic to enlarge the room; sleeping accommodations will not be a concern. Just so you are aware, Harry will also be too busy to perform menial labor for you this summer." Vernon puffed up a bit at that and Illyria raised an eyebrow. "Is there a problem?"

Vernon struggled for a moment before slumping again. "No."

"And depending on how my own travels unfold, I may be bringing magical creatures onto your property."

"…wonderful. Any other good news?"

"That is all for now." Gesturing to the large doors leading to the outside world, Illyria returned to her normal height as her boots shifted back and she took up her spot beside Harry before taking down what Harry finally realized was another Notice-Me-Not Charm. "Shall we leave, then?"

"Right this way, erm, my lady?" Vernon turned tail and fled, grabbing his wife and son and scuttling toward the exit as fast as his stumpy legs could carry him.

Illyria leaned in as they trailed behind the Dursleys, lowering her voice just enough that it wouldn't carry to their hosts. "You told me he was irrational and might try to lash out at one of us, and I would get to hurt him."

Shrugging, Harry stared at his uncle's back. Had Dumbledore gotten to the Dursleys first, and used the Imperius Curse or something? Vernon had been far too pliable. "I know. I'm rather pleasantly surprised."

"This is unacceptable. I was looking forward to doing violence."

"I know you were. We'll find you something to destroy when we get back to Little Whinging, okay?"