They said an imprint cannot be broken and can be anything. What they did not tell us that it could be changed and leave a person feeling alone and unwanted. Why? Did they just not know? Or did they withhold the information on purpose? I honestly didn't care which it was. It honestly didn't matter right now. Whats done was done and I had to deal with the consequences.
He didn't though, I scowled at the ocean. He didn't. He was happy now, so happy that I couldn't even walk into my own house without getting upset. Although, it wasn't just his fault. She was always there. That wouldn't really be a problem either if she didn't always have that smug smile on her face. Its like she was was telling me that it's just payback with it. In fact, she did tell me it was just payback during a heated discussion one night.
It was true though. It was payback. I never should have stolen her from him, imprint or not. I should have made him suffer for how he hurt my cousin. I never should have betrayed her, no matter how happy I became. What was wrong with me? Did I just not care about her, the one who had been there for me for most of my life?
In fact, thinking about this, I wasn't awfully surprised the imprint shifted, if that was a reason. I mean, would anyone's true imprint be one who would betray there own family? If they were to start a family on there own... well, who's to say that they wouldn't betray them?
"Hey Em." A voice called softly as he sat next to me in the sand. I glanced over wearily at Jacob. The boy looked exhausted, plus he was without a shirt. That meant he just got off patrol.
"Go home, Jake" I sighed. "Get some food." Just because I wasn't at home cooking for them all day now, didn't mean I didn't care anymore. I needed to make sure my boys were still eating, still sleeping and that my ex-fiancee wasn't working them to death.
"I ate already." He responded a little to quickly which sort of made me suspicious, but I hardly was in the mood to push it, or drag him back to the house where we were sure to run into the reservations newest love birds. I nodded silently, still staring out into the waves.
"So...whats up?" he sprawled out on he sand completely at ease. I hesitated, trying to give think of something worth saying to amuse him. After a couple minutes though, I couldn't come up with anything. "You know whats up."
Jake sighed. "I do, I had patrol with both of them yesterday, and...it was horrible." I winced internally not wanting to think about that. He noticed. "I mean...I'm sorry."
I nodded, glancing at him. "Its okay." I spoke softly, the words barely able to be heard to my own ears.
Jacob didn't respond, and if I didn't know any better, I would think he didn't hear me. We both stared out into the waves for a while after that, each in our own thoughts. I was actually thinking of how bad it must be for all of them with both Sam and Leah on patrol because somehow I highly doubted they kept their thoughts professional. That was just an educated guess though, from the way they acted around the house. It was the house now. It wasn't mine and his anymore. Well it was in some peoples mind, but in others it was their house now, and I was just permitted to stay like some kind of charity case, including my own. I hated it. I hated sleeping in the spare bedroom and seeing Leah's stuff scattered around. I hated having to hear them at night, because shifters are no where near quiet. Most of all I hated knowing that a mere week ago, it was me that Sam was making moan and giggle. I hated knowing that a week ago, I was happy.
"Why are you sticking around and watching them, Emily?" Jacob asked like he could read my mind. I tore my eyes from the ocean and looked at him. This whole week had gone by and nobody had once bothered to ask that, until just now. Not even Sam. Not even on the rare occasions he cornered me in the kitchen and I actually listened to his empty apology's. Its true that I never asked him why he offered to let me stay either, but still he should have had the common courtesy to ask.
"Um..." Was all I could say. I didn't know why I was sticking around. I never actually consciously thought about it.
"I mean, why would you want to sit around this place and watch them? Why don't you go back to Neah Bay?" The words sent a pang through me. Why didn't I go back to my home? The answer was simple. It wasn't my home any longer. LA Push was. No matter what Sam did too me, La Push would always be my home. No matter if he did kick me out of the house and the reservation. I would always have my boys. So the answer was pretty clear wasn't it?
"For you." I answered."I'm staying for you guys."Jacob took a couple moments to respond, something I couldn't identify was lingering in his eyes.
"The pack would be fine without you, Emily. Contrary to popular belief, we do know how to cook, even if its just frozen dinners." He chuckled at the last part, trying to make it a joke.I could only manage a half of a small smile at him, willing myself not to cry.
"I love you guys though." I spoke just as softly as before. "I can't leave you."
"And we love you too, Em." He stressed. "Enough that we don't want to see you get hurt."
"It already happened though." I responded. "This? The aftermath? Its nothing, Jake, nothing in compared to when he left me."
"I know." He said solemnly and nodded, like he he didn't know what else to say. He sounded like he wanted too though. I slid my hand over his to tell him that it was alright, that he didn't need too. He didn't seem to get the message though. "Honestly, Emily? We all hate Sam for doing this too you."
The words threw me through a loop. They were not suppose to hate him. No matter what I would like to think and did think half the time, this wasn't completely his fault. They were not suppose to pick a girl that came as an outsider over their Alpha. They didn't hate him for doing this to Leah, so why me? I didn't verbalize it, I knew he knew what I was going to say as he looked into my eyes. I also knew he was just going to argue with me if I said anything, so it was better to keep my mouth shut. Me not responding led as into a good couple minutes of silence again, as I left my hand on his. It comforted me to know I had people still there for me and the contact proved it. Jacob knew it meant nothing else, so what was the problem with leaving it there? In the silence, Jacob's stomach rumbled audibly.
"Jacob." I chastised. "You told me you ate."
Jacob winced. "White lie?" He said it in a questioning tone, as if he was asking if I would accept it.
I groaned. "You have to eat, Jacob." I glanced behind me. "Come on." I got up after a minutes thought.
"Where are we going?" He looked up at me.
"To eat." I responded. At the words eat, Jacob jumped up, due to his natural werewolf tendencies, but as he thought about it, he frowned.
"We're not going back to that house." He shook his head. "Trust me, I'd be the worst friend ever if I let you go back there now." He pulled a face. "Besides, I cant deal with much more of him today."
I nodded silently, not wanting to know their plans for after patrol today and feeling sorry for Jacob for hearing it. "Well then..." I paused, having no place else to go.
"We can go to my house." Jacob offered. "There's food there. You can cook. Plus Billy's at Charlies, so when he gets back he wont feel like cooking."
"And we all know that would have horrible consequences." I joked, starting up the beach.
"Hey, I don't feel like having frozen dinners tonight." It only took him two long strides to catch up to me.
"I'm sure you don't" I actually laughed for the first time in a week. "You guys are spoiled, do you know that?"
Jacob nodded, agreeing, as we made it into the village. 'I know." He chuckled. "So maybe you do need to leave us for your own good."
I didn't respond to that, and he quickly figured out he just turned the conversation sour, because he touched my shoulder reassuringly. "Or maybe not, it won't help anyways, We'll all just flock to Sue's." I tried to smile."I'm sure you would."
Sue's. I never thought about that before. Living with my aunt was an option now that Leah was always at Sam's. Somehow, I never thought of it before now. I felt a little guilty about not talking to her, but in all honesty I was frightened too. What side would she take? I would just rather not go through the rejection of my aunt.