So, I read Shadowsorel's story a while back called "Wheatley's Baby." I must say that it was as awful as the stories it was based on... which is a good thing! It made me laugh how she parodied Bellaswangirl71's shoddily written fanfics down to the "pregnant only two weeks apart" plotline, the terrifying grammar errors, and the really stupid plot twists. I felt inspired to do something from my Misadventures series as a tribute to these wonderful(and not-so-wonderful) authors, and with that, I hereby give you this story: Misadventures Interlude: Fan Fiction.
"What the hell?"
Sonya sat at the computer, a horribly scarred look on her face as she read over this story on the site that Johnny Cage had linked her to. She had randomly seen it, written by some girl called Bellaswangirl. At first, it didn't look so bad, but then she began to read about it.
"Sonya? What're you doing?" Gemini stepped behind her commanding officer, intending to pull her away from the screen, when she herself began to read the story.
One day in Outworld Ellie Romy Zoey Emily and Jennife's warroirs Jade Mileena Sony Sheva and Kitana were all married to their mates and they are all pregnant only a month apart and it was March 16th and Sheva was having her and Goro's twins right now and it was 8:00pm in the morning and Kitana was up and ready to wait for Romy to take Sheva and Goro back Aisa with Romy who is moving back to Aisa.
But when Kitana went into Sheva and Goro's room they were not here Jade Mileena Sonya have any fo you seen Sheva and Goro they were in their Room last night but now they're gone.
Jade said I have not here them all morning so Kitana Jade Mileena and Sonya look everywhere for Sheva and Goro but they can not find them until Romy came in the door and said hello girls where's my Goro and Sheva we're moving back to Aisa today.
Until Jennifer yelled KITANA SONYA MILEENA JADE ROMY COME UP TO OUR ROOM! Romy and her friends ran up to Zoey and Jennifers room and saw Sheva and Goro with their babies Sonya said oh my gosh Sheva they're so cute what are they?
Sheva said everyone meet my son and daughter my baby boy's name is Max and my baby girl's name is Lady me and Goro are so happy Sheva's son Max looks like Sheva and Lady looks like Goro they they're so beautful Romy said oh Sheva and Goro I'm so happy for you two and your babies let's get you and your babies home well Jennifer and Zoey I have to go I have to get to the airport to fly back home before I'm late and it was nice for me to stay with you so I'll call you when I get back home.
By the time her mind had fully digested what her eyes had seen, Gemini felt terribly nauseous and, like Sonya, could only stare at the screen. "What the fuck is this?"
"I dunno... Johnny linked it to me. I just clicked on a random story and got this piece of shit on my screen."
Gemini crossed her arms. "So there's more stories on this site?"
"Unfortunately, yes..." Sonya sighed before clicking the back button on the computer and returning to the list of Mortal Kombat stories. "Maybe I'm being too rough on Cage. After all, the first story doesn't reflect everything here... hopefully."
The head of the Outworld Investigation Agency continued to scroll down the page before she came to another story that caught her eye.
"Wheatley's Baby? Who the fuck is Wheatley and why haven't I heard of him before?"
A soldier stepped up to her, a slight English accent in his voice. "Second Lieutenant Wheatley here, ma'am."
Sonya gave an eye roll. "Explain to me, Lieutenant, how this person knows who you are!"
"Well, I do have an account on that website. TeslaGauss17."
Gemini gave a facepalm. "This isn't you the story's referring to, is it?"
"No, I believe not. It's most likely referring to Wheatley, a character from the Portal series of video games."
"Then what the fuck," she seethed, "is it doing here in the Mortal Kombat section?"
"Major Blade, I sincerely have no idea."
"Meh," Sonya turned back to her computer and clicked on the link to the story, written by a "Shadowsorel," and began to read it.
One day, Wheatley was human for some reason and looked like Stephen Merchant and no one knows how or why. For some reason after trying to kill her Chell had forgiven him and was really horny so they made a baby.
Suddenly he finds himself in a hospital because Chells water broek and he is nervis and he is a football fan and was teesed by his peers for his height and wore bowties to school. He walked around and he was scared but he was brave. He paced and paced and huffed and puffed and blew houses down and Liu Kang was biting a pillow.
Chell and Kitana were pregnant two minutes apart, as if that made such a huge difference. However, Kitana wasn't about to give birth.
Sonya and Noob rushed over to the hospital because they heard someonew as havinf a baby even though they don't know who or how they hred. Its because news of someone having a baby spreasd quick, regardless of the parents. Sonya was about to throw up because she just finished a Happy Meal and ran with Noob Saibot and portal travel makes her sick and she sucks for some reason. Sonya hated hospitals because of her status as butt monkey because she sucks. And she sucks.
"Lu your havin a baby" asked Noob Saibot "No Kitanas not due yet." responded Liu and then he saw the tall man looking at him biting the pillow and looking at him looking at him okay i'll stop now said noob.
The tall man was extermely nervus he couldn't clam down because Chell was having his baby but his frends werent and they wanted a baby too. Noob looked at the tall man, who was breathing a lot and walking a lot, and he couldn't talk to Sonya because she sucked, so he was lonely. Your having a baby asked n00b.
"Yes I am" responded the tall man "who are you and why are you pitch black."
"I am Noob this my freind Lu not Sonya because she sucks"
"Uh, like, I'm Wheatley and I am goingt o be a dad!." Said the tall man and then he cried. "Whats wrong Wheatly?." asked Sonya. "Rick turned human and killd himself" he cried. "im so sorry Wheetly" she replayed. "shut up Sonya" yelled n00b.
The doctor came up to Whaatly and and told him the baby is born and healthy and Wheelty said phew thank you I want to see my baby now no its not your baby said the doctor.
"!" Sonya exclaimed "shut up Sonya you suck" said Lui
"OMG WHOTIE LU N00B I KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS" yelled Sonya
"Shut up Sonya your hurtin gmy ears" Noob yelled.
"It was... VOLDEMORT!"
Sonya really couldn't take it anymore. Yanking the keyboard from its mounting on the desk, she smashed it through the computer's monitor, sparks flying as the broken screen sputtered, shards of electricity flowing off it. "I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL THESE TWO! I WANT THEM HERE. NOW!"
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO THINKING!?"
Sonya stood with Gemini, Markus, and Cyrax as she fumed, pacing back and forth in front of the chairs that restrained the two. Both were young adult girls, but one of them seemed far more mature than the other. The one known as Bellaswangirl(who actually claimed her name was Bella Swan) had brown hair that had been messily dyed scarlet. For a girl who looked like she'd be graduating high school, she was heavily made up, and the fact that she was fangirling over Sonya and everyone else caused said makeup to begin dissipating. ShadowSorel, however(who gave her name as Aileen Sorel), seemed far more composed, with blue-black hair smoothed back to shoulder length. She was the first one to respond.
"If you're gonna interrogate me, can you at least not do it next to this psycho chick?"
Bella's mouth was still wide open, silently chanting "OMG" over and over again. Sonya shook her head, anger still coursing through her body.
"I have both of you here on charges of defamation of character and leaking of classified information. Explain yourselves now, or I swear to God I'll ship both of you off to Guantanamo."
Before Aileen could give a response, Bella exploded. "OMG SONYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! But why you not pregnant with Jax's baby?"
Sonya swung a fist at the terrifying author, which Cyrax fortunately grabbed before she made contact. In truth, it probably wouldn't matter. Sonya could beat the bitch senseless and she'd still keep fangirling.
"Calm down, Sonya. She's annoying, but there's no need to punch her."
Aileen interrupted. "Look... You probably read over that story I wrote... Wheatley's Baby. I made it -" she pointed at Bella "- because of her!"
Markus raised an eyebrow. "I get it... It's a parody."
"Exactly! I'm guessing you didn't read to the end of the story, did you..."
Sonya shook her head. "Nope. It was too god-awful for me to finish."
"That's why you overreacted. If someone can get a computer in here..."
"This is stupid," stated the reader. The reader immediately reached for a nearby .357 magnum pistol, but then reconsidered. Is a horribly written fanfic really something to kill yourself over? No, especially if you didn't write it. So because the reader's eyes hurted from the terrible awful* done unto them, the reader didn't review. And had the reader reviewed, it would have regarded her awful character spelling and grammar structure. Hell, an earthquake has better structure.
Those [intelligent people] who had left reviews constantly told her to improve her writing, but it was futile since she will never listen to us unless we praise her. Others have praised her, and judging from their profiles and typing skills, they are stupid and tasteless and don't know talent and listen to 2chainz and Justin Bieber and any mainstream artist and haven't read anything by Shadow Sorel, who had busted her ass on a slow computer. Shadow also worked on her fanfics using a cell phone, which was very efficient, considering that it had a little archive for notes and stories and could type and use but that's beside the point. Shadow had a very busy school schedule and a lot of trouble making friends and always wanted to meet Thomas Bangalter and dreamt of being an author, so she worked for it. While a whiny, illiterate piece of shit "wrote" over a hundred "stories" and expects them to be good, a genius (compared to her) around her age carefully crafts each word to the point where it's still crap, but it's readable, and expects to be booed at.
With some random force of magic, Ice Age's Diego and Left 4 Dead's Ellis meet. Diego is an old-ass motherfucker who'd look like he'd eat you out. Nah, he's a sabre-toothed tiger who has a soft spot for babies (evident in the first and third one). Ellis is a very handsome redneck (with blue eyes and curly brown hair) who just might be the smartest of the survivors- seeing as he is a mechanic- but doesn't seem like it. However, he is very optimistic and chipper... And modeled after a professional male model.
Diego and Ellis looked at the disaster in front of them, causing Ellis to weep softly as the franchise he starred in was being burnt and torn down before his eyes, still careful not to let anyone see nor hear, while Diego placed a paw on his back, telling him it's going to be alright, and that they'll get out of these shitholes she calls stories.
And Bella Cullen decided to have a sexual affair with the Scout from Team Fortress 2.
Sonya's tears of frustration turned to laughter as she began to laugh. Cyrax and Markus both gave mechanical laughs, and even Gemini had to toss out a snicker. "Well, when you put the story's end that way..."
Aileen seemed, oddly enough, still upset. "This bitch ruined the Left 4 Dead and MK boards for me! She probably would've ended up fucking over the Portal ones too if you hadn't caught her."
The four OIA agents gathered in a quick huddle at the far side of the room. "Okay, what do we do about these two?"
Markus had a positive view of things. "Aileen's cool. We should keep her around for a while. I dunno... College credit."
Cyrax seemed a bit more wary. "I admit, Sorel wrote an excellent parody, but I question how wise it would be to keep her around."
"I agree with Markus. Give her college credit for sticking around." Gemini smiled.
"K then... It's settled. But what about Bella?"
The group unanimously agreed on a fate for the terrifying fanfic author as the huddle broke up.
"K, Aileen, you can stick around! As for Bella, we have something special planned for you..."
The Twilight-sounding author gave a lopsided smile, not knowing what the OIA had planned...
In the Netherrealm, Noob Saibot and Genesis were resting in the Netherrealm, enjoying another round of passionate sex with one another when a portal opened and a girl fell through. Noob immediately stopped and stared at the new arrival. "Who're you?"
"OMG OMG ITS NOOB SAIBOT!"
Genesis gave a cat-like hiss, standing up as the chain-like whips formed in her hands. "May the demons of the Netherream take your soul!"
Noob calmed her down. "I have an idea..." The wraith turned to Bella, a seductive smile on his face. "How would you like to be a part of my plan, girl?"
"OMG DO I GET PREGNANT A MONTH APART FROM EVERYONE ELSE?"
Noob raised an eyebro before moving in. "Indeed... With my Saibota."
His plan to conquer the Netherrealm had begun.
Well... That oneshot's out of the way. I couldn't help myself writing this. Idea just came to me. This is all canonical, mind you. Read, review, and have a laugh. Misadventures 3 isn't over any time soon, so look forward to more chapters soon. Cheers!