Rachel sat alone in her room one Friday afternoon, trying to complete her history essay for the next day. Procrastination, however, seemed to be supplanting her focus. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to put herself in the correct mindset. She decided to take a break, logging onto her favorite chat room under her false identity: AlostStar.
Finn sat alone in his bedroom after just finishing a game of football with his friends Sam and Puck. He wasn't having very much fun sitting alone in his bedroom doing nothing, so he decided to log into a chatroom Puck had told him about, using a fake username: Quarterback. Finn only saw this as a bit of fun; nothing more, nothing less.
Rachel saw as the username "Quarterback" appeared in her "online" box. That had to be a horny teenage boy, right? It was all in the name.
From the name "ALostStar", it was obvious that a fame-obsessed chick had just appeared in Finn Hudson's "online" box. Nevertheless, he was bored out of his mind, so he opened up a chat.
QUARTERBACK: How are you?
ALOSTSTAR: Wow, it's surprising not to see some pickup line or sexual joke. Refreshing, even. I'm doing alright; how are you?
QUARTERBACK: I'm fine. Sorry, I guess. This is my first time on here so you could say I'm inexperienced.
ALOSTSTAR: I'll show you the ropes; no worries.
QUARTERBACK: Haha, thanks. So, what do you do on here?
She seems nice.
ALOSTSTAR: Sext. Or no, beyond that. I think they call it cybersex.
Whoa, and hot.
QUARTERBACK: To be honest, you don't seem like the type.
ALOSTSTAR: Ouch... And what would give you that impression?
ALOSTSTAR: Oh, and "Quarterback" is supposed to get me feeling all tingly?
QUARTERBACK: That was the goal. ;)
ALOSTSTAR: Well, you never know. I could be a lost porn star.
QUARTERBACK: Touche. What's your name? Can I know?
ALOSTSTAR: Confidential information, Mr. Nosy.
QUARTERBACK: Now, that's just mean. I can't just call you ALostStar, can I? Unless that is your real name, of course.
ALOSTSTAR: Yep, printed right on my birth certificate.
QUARTERBACK: Very funny.
ALOSTSTAR: You can come up with your own name for me if you don't appreciate my flawless username.
QUARTERBACK: Flawless? I beg to differ.
QUARTERBACK: I'll call you, eh. Mysterious Girl.
ALOSTSTAR: Why? Do you find me mysterious? ;)
QUARTERBACK: Very mysterious, indeed. You haven't even told me your name!
ALOSTSTAR: Then again, neither have you.
QUARTERBACK: To tell or not to tell...
ALOSTSTAR: Cut the crap and spill.
QUARTERBACK: Alright, alright, pushy. I'm Tom.
ALOSTSTAR: You don't know "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"? Turn off.
QUARTERBACK: Never heard of him. He sounds like a wrestler... Is he a president?
QUARTERBACK: And hey, I'm not going anywhere.
ALOSTSTAR: You're way off. But the effort? Turn on.
QUARTERBACK: Turn on? I could do more than just turn you on.
ALOSTSTAR: Oh really? Like what?
QUARTERBACK: Mysterious Girl, I could give you the night of your life.
ALOSTSTAR: Am I supposed to be impressed?
QUARTERBACK: Well yeah, that was the point. Don't say the idea of telling you what I'd do isn't turning you on.
ALOSTSTAR: Okay, I'll give you that.
QUARTERBACK: I'm getting hard just thinking about touching you.
ALOSTSTAR: Intriguing. What else?
QUARTERBACK: Come on, I'm not going to be the only one doing this. Your turn.
ALOSTSTAR: But you don't even know Tom Sawyer! ;P
QUARTERBACK: It's not my fault; I'm more of a video games kind of guy.
ALOSTSTAR: No excuse! It's a classic!
ALOSTSTAR: Hm. What are you wearing right now?
QUARTERBACK: T-shirt. Boxers. What about you, Mysterious Girl?
QUARTERBACK: So you're just sitting there naked? I don't believe you.
ALOSTSTAR: Well, there's a computer on my lap. Does that count?
QUARTERBACK: It's Friday, Mysterious Girl. Saturday is when the clothes stay off.
ALOSTSTAR: Fine, you got me. I'm still wearing my clothes from school, actually. It's your job to get them off. ;)
QUARTERBACK: I'd be happy to oblige, Miss.
ALOSTSTAR: Have I lost my nickname already?
QUARTERBACK: You're not limited to just one.
ALOSTSTAR: Do I get to make one for you?
QUARTERBACK: Yes. Anything except for Love Machine.
ALOSTSTAR: Well now it has to be Love Machine.
QUARTERBACK: Ew, no thank you. Try again.
ALOSTSTAR: I could call you Mr. Sawyer, because I'm funny.
QUARTERBACK: Funny? Mysterious Girl, you're sexy.
ALOSTSTAR: As are you, Mr. Sawyer.
QUARTERBACK: I'm on my bed now; Love Machine is totally in position. ;)
ALOSTSTAR: I know this is probably pointless to say, but part of me wishes you were here in my bed.
QUARTERBACK: So do I. I wish I was on your bed with you. I wish I was on you, fucking you like crazy.
ALOSTSTAR: So why aren't you?
QUARTERBACK: I have no idea where you are, Mysterious Girl.
ALOSTSTAR: How far are you from Lima, Ohio?
QUARTERBACK: Good question. Why do you ask?
ALOSTSTAR: I've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to meet you, and I want to fuck you.
QUARTERBACK: I feel the same way.
ALOSTSTAR: Where can we meet?
QUARTERBACK: The park?
ALOSTSTAR: Too exposed. There's an abandoned movie theatre across the street from the Lima Bean.
ALOSTSTAR: Are you familiar with the area?
QUARTERBACK: Yeah, I know the area quite well. Perfect idea. I'll see you there, Mysterious Girl.
Quarterback has signed off.