Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters! If I owned Twilight…a girl can dream right?

What the hell was wrong with Sue Clearwater when she decided to marry Charlie Swan? Did she lose her marbles when Harry died? Or maybe she bumped her head really hard when she slipped on ice that one day. She was missing a few screws in that brain of hers. Everyone around La Push just shook their heads at her and whispered about how she was a traitor because she married someone off the Rez. Leah Clearwater had to suffer the most though. She was reminded daily that Bella Swan was her step sister. Seth was ecstatic about the whole ordeal because the Cullens were cool people according to him. Leah had to constantly remind him that the Cullens weren't people.

Leah chopped up the remaining onion and threw it in the skillet. Charlie wanted to throw her mother a surprise birthday party and Leah was asked to help Bella cook up a birthday dinner. Of course the Cullens weren't allowed on the Rez, that hadn't changed, so Leah was forced to breathe in their toxic scent while having a bonding moment with her step sister. Bella stared at Leah as she stabbed at a tomato.

"It would be easier if you cut it the other way," Bella suggested.

Leah gave Bella her best 'bitch face' before turning her attention back to the stubborn tomato that obviously didn't want to be cut. Bella grabbed the knife from Leah and cut the tomato with ease.

"I think I could've figured it out. Thank you very much," Leah spat, snatching the knife back and slashing the tomato in pieces. Tomato juice squirted all over the marble counter.

"I could've done a better job," Bella replied, shaking her head at the butchered tomato.

"But you didn't so shut the fuck up," Leah hissed. Bella was so damn annoying and Leah felt like stabbing her because she kept hovering over her. "Do you mind?"

"Bitch," Bella muttered under her breath as she returned to her side of the counter.

"Yep that's my middle name," Leah replied.

"Can I ask you a question," Bella asked, dumping a bowl of green peppers into the skillet. "Why don't you like me?"

"I don't recall saying you could ask me a question," Leah snapped.

"Why don't you though," Bella pressed.

"Because you stink."

"Yea that's mature Leah. You stink too, you reek of wet dog," Bella shot back.

"And because you're a selfish, inconsiderate bitch. You never say thank you. You honestly think becoming a vampire is the best thing ever," Leah began. She could give Bella a novel full of the reasons she hated her.

"It's because of what I did to Jake isn't it," Bella asked, leaning against the counter.

"It has nothing to do with him."

"You liked me when we were little. Remember you used to braid my hair all the time and put those feather things in it." Bella smiled at the memory because she loved those little feathers. She even kept a few of them when she went back home after spending the summer with her father.

Leah slammed the knife on the counter. "Don't you dare try to act like we were best friends. I never liked you. Remember when you made me drop my ice cream cone? Your clumsy ass knocked it right out of my hand. I hated you from that day forward."

"Oh come on Leah, I didn't mean to do it. You were really mean to me that day so that was karma," Bella chuckled.

"It's not funny leech. You were always ruining my day. You were either knocking my ice cream out of my hands or hurting yourself. You do realize that I got blamed every time you fell off the swing set?" Leah threw the tomato in the skillet and stirred the contents with a wooden spoon.

"Well you did push me that one time when I kissed Jake on the cheek. You were so protective of him when we were little." Bella smiled. "You still are."

"Well people always picked on him when we were little," Leah replied. "And I didn't protect him from you did I? He was too stubborn for his own good."

"Jacob has a mind of his own you know," Bella added.

"He's stubborn. I kept telling him to get over you but of course he kept running back and getting his heart broken. I gotta question for you Isabitch."

"Go ahead Clearwater."

"Why did you drag him along like that if you knew you were going to choose Edward?" Leah crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Bella's answer.

"You do realize he kept coming back even after he knew I would choose Edward?" Leah opened her mouth to protest. "Let me finish. Trust me, I know what I did to him was wrong and unfair. He deserved much better than that but I was too selfish to let him go. I kept pulling him in and he kept coming back. I put the blame on both of us."

"I just put the blame on you because I can't stand your guts. I wanted to punch you in the face so many damn times. I have another question. What the fuck is so appealing about being a vampire or being with one? I mean who wants a cold dick stuck up in them?"

Bella hissed. "Because I was born to be this way."

Leah threw her hands up in frustration. "Give me a fucking break Cullen. You seriously think you were born to be a vampire? You're dumber than I thought."

"Hey! Don't judge me, I don't talk about you being a giant dog," Bella spat.

"But I didn't choose it so there's a difference. You had a choice and you decided to become a frozen piece of shit forever. So you didn't want to have a normal kid, a normal life, with a normal husband? Don't feed me that bullshit about being born to be a vampire," Leah ranted.

Bella's golden eyes narrowed. "I already told you why I did it. Don't you dare judge me and the decisions I made. I'm perfectly fine with my decision and I love my life."

"Oh come on! You don't have a life anymore, you're dead! You're stone, cold, dead. All you do is sit around all day, listen to Edturd play the piano, hunt, fuck your ice dick, sit around some more and screw some more. What kind of LIFE is that," Leah yelled.

"At least I have a husband and I'm not miserable like you," Bella snapped. Leah took a deep breath and picked up the skillet that was sitting on the stove.

"I would rather be single than be married to a 109 year old man. That's not normal, that's sick," Leah said through clenched teeth. "And don't worry Isabella, I'm happy. You're not the only one around here that's happy and you remember that. Jacob satisfies me all the time." Bella's eyes widened. "Yep, you heard me right. You don't know what you're missing out on." Leah winked at a scowling Bella.

"You're so miserable that you try to drag other people down with you. Grow up," Bella replied.

Leah laughed. "Grow up? Trust me Cullen, I'm beyond grown at this point. And you're wrong. I'm not miserable at all, can you say the same for yourself," Leah said.

"Screw you Leah. Screw you," Bella turned back around and continued cutting a pepper. Leah turned the fire off the skillet and launched it at Bella's head. "You….." Bella threw glass bowl in Leah's direction but Leah ducked out of the way in time. The bowl shattered against the counters and floor. Leah phased into wolf form, ruining her clothes and whatever else was in the way. She launched herself across the kitchen towards the steaming vampire in front of her. They tussled around the kitchen, breaking dishes, ruining the table and cabinets. Good thing the other Cullens were out hunting because Esme would freak out and Edward would kill Leah.

"Stop!" Bella yelled at Leah snapped at her hand. One of Bella's delicate fingers was missing. "Where's my finger!"

Leah phased back into human form, standing naked in front of her natural born enemy. "Like I'm supposed to know!"

"You better find it!"

"Find it yourself leech. Have fun," Leah replied as she exited ouy the back door. She went into the nearest bush and pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. Too bad she had ripped her bra when she phased on the spot. Now she was going to have to sit at dinner with her headlights pointing at everyone. Leah shrugged and pulled the shirt over her head. Jacob would enjoy the show.

"You have it don't you," Bella asked, still searching for her missing finger.

"Nope," Leah replied. She was amused with Bella's utter shock over her missing finger. What did she need with the thing anyway? Couldn't she just grow another one? Or Dr. Sparkle Compassion could sew one on right?

"This isn't funny!" Bella yelled as Leah laughed loudly. "And you're going to help me clean up this mess. We haven't even finished dinner!"

Leah continued to laugh as she swept the glass up and attempted to salvage the ruined kitchen table. Bella sighed as she sifted through the broken glass for her finger.

"I should have killed you," Bella spat as Leah hit her upside the head with the broom. Bella stood up and glared at a laughing Leah Clearwater. Leah hadn't laughed so hard in a long time and Bella's anger was just making matters worse. "Shut up!"

"Don't be mad at me," Leah said. The pair finished cleaning the kitchen and preparing Sue's surprise birthday meal. Leah didn't understand why they cooked so much food if the Cullen's didn't eat. What would they tell Charlie if he asked why they weren't eating?


"Oh we already ate. You go ahead and eat all you want," Esme said sweetly. Charlie frowned and dug into the bowl of mashed potatoes. Esme was still upset about the broken kitchen table so they had to eat in the dining room.

"Hey. Hey Lee," Jacob said kissing Leah on the cheek causing her to blush. Bella growled under her breath as Jacob nodded his head in her direction and smiled. "Hey Bells." Jacob took a seat next to Leah who was glaring at Bella across the table. Bella hid her left hand under the table, trying to hide it from everyone.

"You okay," Edward whispered in her ear. Bella nodded and pecked him on the lips. Nessie bounced down the steps and took a seat next to her father. Edward slipped a protective arm around her shoulders.

"Hi Leah," Nessie said in a sing-song voice.

"Hey." Leah threw her hand in Nessie's direction and turned her attention back to her Alpha.

"You been acting up today," Jacob asked.

"Of course. I did good today didn't I Bella," Leah asked.

Bella's frame shook and Leah laughed.

"What the hell is this," Sue yelled pulling a finger out of her mashed potatoes. Bella gasped and Leah fell backwards out of her chair, her boisterous laughter filling the room.

"Shut up Leah! That's not funny," Bella pouted.

Seth hung his head trying to control his laughter. Edward narrowed his eyes at Leah. Esme stood with her hand over her mouth in disbelief while Carlilse tried to spark up a conversation. Jacob smirked at his Beta who was now rolling with laughter. Charlie simply looked around the table, shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.

"And it has a wedding ring on it!" Sue yelled in disgust. Leah laughed louder as Bella stormed out of the room with an angry Edward following behind her.

Just a silly little idea that I had to get out of my head. Hope you enjoyed!