Note: A little something I wrote, suffering from writers block. I may or may not make it into a series with other creatures depending on feedback and my general ability to do so. Credit should go to my brother for the idea and some of the jokes, (late night talks make you think of the darndest things ^_^)

A Day in the Life of the Balrog

September 10th, 3019

Dear diary,

Hello again. It's just another day in the depths of Moria, really. And to tell you the truth, I'm positively bored to tears. One of the little orcs tried to throw a spear at me, and I told it to piss off. The little bugger burned up when I tried to get close and give it a good verbal thrashing. It seems that always happens. No one listens.

Sigh. I think I'll go take a bath. Maybe light some of those scented candles.

November 4th, 3019

Dear diary,

It's very dismal down here. A few drapes would really class the place up, but alas no. A lot of little dwarf corpses and such, and I keep stepping on them. The crunching noise is starting to get on my nerves. Of course those stupid orcs never think about doing a bit of house cleaning. All they do is squabble. Seriously, did Sauron have to put me here with these bloody tarts? Ergh.

December 28th, 3019

Dear diary,

I think I'm tharting to cobe down with thumpthing. Eberythime I thneeze, I keeb burning down hundreds of orcs. Oh well. The bleeden' idiots probably gabe me the code in the firsth place. Serves 'em right.

December 16th, 3019

Dear diary,

I finally got over that blasted cold. Didn't Sauron ever instill health codes? That dark lord is really starting to try my patience! In fact, Ive had it! From this moment on, I, Balrog T. Bolrogian am no longer under his service!

January 14th, 3019

3:00 AM

Dear diary,

I got woken up in the middle of the night by some noises. I thought those orcs ate all the rats. Damn it.

January 15th, 3019

6:00 PM

Well diary, wouldn't you just know it? Less than a month after I pledge myself against Sauron, he sends nine of his underlings into my lair! It seems he was successful in his quest for the one ring, as one of them carries it. Well, I say this! I will take it upon myself to stop them, and destroy the one ring! The Dark Lord shall perish, and maybe some of the people of middle earth wont make my roommates such bloody morons. Maybe someone I could have an intellectual conversation with, yea, that sounds quite nice. Someone who will clean their side of the lair.

It is decided, I will stop his minions!

January 23rd, 3019

I'm so tired. Me and this bloody twat in the gray cloak have been fighting for 8 bloody days, and I'm bushed. We both are resting a bit till we can fight again. The gall of him, pushing me off a cliff! Ah, he seems to be getting up. Oh well, back to fighting.

January 25th, 2019

Balrog fall, Balrog die. He be a stooped doody head. We Orcs hate Balrog yelling. He too whiny. Good Riddance.

Note: Sorry for that, just one of those late night spur of the moment type things, ya know? Reviews make me happy.