Contemplation
by xphilernj

Here I am, alone again. Alone in a darkness of my making, but not
entirely my choosing. The moonlight shining, peeking through the
slats of the window blind is the only light that brightens my dismal
world, this moment in time and space. I sit alone contemplating my
life up until now.

Time. So much has been lost through it's dark and lonely passageways
to a destination unknown and unforgiving. I think of friends lost
along the way. I think of those that have chosen to become my friends
through blood, sweat and tears.

Loneliness. A choice made long ago by shadows and dreams.

Tears. Forever a river that runs deep and dark within my soul,
spilling into a well that never seems to fill. Too many. Not enough.

Dreams. Shattered like glass among the ruins by half truths and lies.
I walk through these broken pieces and salvage what I can. I cannot
give up. I won't give up. It is not in me to do so.

Truths. Never to be taken at face value again. Truths, I now pick
apart, analize and only then do I hesitate. Hesitate to believe.

Fear. A truth I never wanted to face before. Fear of the unknown.
Fear of losing a battle I know I cannot win. Fear of not finding the
one friend I lost and of another because of that loss. Fear is a
feeling I have tried to learn to live with and know I cannot control.

I sit alone in a darkness with the hope that soon the light of truth
and justice will once again light the path I must now walk. A path
that is no longer straight and true. A path that will one day lead us
to a world no longer ruled by fear of the unknown.

Then and only then, will I smile once more. Something I had never
comtemplated before.

The End