5I do not own Hetalia, but if I did, Prussia and Germany would be in Bunny suits and Dirndlkeiders more often. And there would be a lot more Yaoi and Fem!Characters, and 2ps.
"This is fucking AWESOME!" Gilbert shouted.
Elizabeta sighed, "Shut up, Prussian."
Roderich snickered at the verbal abuse. Gilbert growled.
"At least I knew what gender I was as a child."
Roderich snickered again but then retorted with an "Ohh!"
"Which side are you on?" Eliza and Gilbert asked simultaneously.
Roderich whined. "Every good war has a neutral party."
Gilbert glared at him. "This isn't a war, stupid freeloader. Not awesome."
After a moment of awkward silence, Gilbert broke it. "I'm hungry."
Eliza grabbed a frying pan from the cabinet.
Gilbert and Roderich instantly flinched. She sighed. "Not for you. I'm going to cook something."
Roderich and Gilbert breathed a sigh of relief. Gilbert sighed for his safety and Roderich sighed for the sake of not seeing blood.
"So, six eggs? Two for each of us?" Eliza asked, pulling out the carton.
"No, Liz. Eight." Eliza and Roderich just stared at Gil.
The Austrian finally asked, "Why do you want four eggs?"
"For Birdie."
"Gilbird doesn't eat eggs."
The said bird straightened a bowtie he had acquired.
"Not Gilbird, Birdie."
"Elizabeta, I think Gil has an imaginary friend."
"Gil, let's talk to you about your imaginary friend."
Gil growled. "Liz, you sound like my mom."
Roderich tried to reason with Gil. "He isn't real. You need to stop talking about this 'Birdie' character. It's scaring me and your mom."
"Okay, Austria. Firstly, you aren't my dad, nor is Liz my mom. Second, Birdie's not fake. He's right here!" Gil gestured to the stool next to him.
The stool was empty.
Roderich was pissed. "Firstly, I thought this fanfiction was 'Human Names Used'. Second, that stool has no one seated in it!"
"But, I am too real." a disembodied voice rolled through the house. "I've been here the whole time. I was talking with you in conversation! Was no one confused why the author decided to put 'This is, um… very AWESOME' as the first sentence?"
"I was sure I said 'fucking'."
Roderich and Elizabeta were clinging to one another, convinced that a ghost now haunted Elizabeta's home.
Gil looked into the chaos. "Birdie showed me a way to put Gilbird into a bowtie without choking him. It was fucking awesome. Because bowties are awesome, not just cool.
(A wild England appears and starts fangirling over Doctor Who reference then leaves.)
Reason spread over Roderich's face.
"Finally, someone understands the awesomeness," Gil mumbled.
"Elizabeta, if Prussia is no longer a country, what is Gilbert still doing here?"
The strong Hungarian woman stared at Gil.
"Ghost!"
Matthew sneezed and became visible to the two who just noticed his sudden appearance. They began to scream more wildly with their arms waving above their heads like noodles in a fashion Feliciano would appreciate. They proceeded to take pictures of the "Ghosts".
"They're worse than America." Canada almost said in a legible tone. "Should we-"
"Nah, this is awesome."
Eliza's computer beeped. "YOU HAVE MAIL!"
Roderich nodded for her to go check it whilst motioning to Matthew to turn up his chin and smile for the camera.
"Roderich," Elizabeta whined to her partner. "Roderich… Austria!" She called from the computer.
Roderich ran over to her, snapping the last few pictures of Gil slurping a beer down.
Matthew and Gil started doing "awesome" ghost-like things behind the two.
"Look, I got an update from ," Eliza pouted. "LoolieRocksLobster uploaded this new one-shot. It's about us and it's called 'I'm Hungry'. Apparently, Gil and 'Birdie' are alive."
Roderich whined, "Well, I guess 'Birdie' is really Matthew." He turned to the somewhat invisible and shy blonde, whom of which whimpered. "Sorry, Canada."
Matt smiled his innocent smile, "No problem. Everyone does it."
Eliza snickered, "It's labeled as a PruCan. You guys like each other?"
Gil and Matt blushed.
"Yeah, Birdie's awesome."
Matthew, still blushing profusely, leaned over and pointed to the screen. "It also says it's an AusHun."
It was Roderich's turn to blush. Eliza just mumbled, "I've read a lot of those, and this one's not that bad."
This made Roderich blush more.
Then Gil and Roderich dragged their women to the designated room and-
Eliza shut down the computer. "Gott, fangirls these days."
Gil and Matt's noses were bleeding at the thought of each other.
"That LoolieRocksLobsters chick is demented." Roderich pointed out.
"Well, Roderich. I'm glad you pointed that out." I walked out of the shadows, and evil sneer dancing on my cheeks. "Who would have thought Eliza followed me on ? That is so flattering, considering you are the queen of fangirls."
Eliza giggled. "I just can't resist the cute yaois!"
Gil pulled my Canada cosplay up to his nose to clean up, then realized it was a Canada cosplay and lowered the bloody fabric.
"Thanks, guess I'm snapped Canada now." I mumbled.
"Who are you?" Kumajiro whined.
I ignored the strange bear. "I have played you all like puppets!" Marionettes magically appeared in my hands.
"I can make you do whatever I please!"
All four countries plus a polar bear got on their knees.
"Please, oh wise one! We are not worthy!"
I snickered, slowly rising to a booming laughter. "Now feel the wrath of an estranged fangirl! Now bend to my will! Now own my-
Here's where I stopped writing. I reread through this thing I wrote. What the hell is this? How many fourth walls did I break? I moved my cursor over the part where Eliza gets an email. Should I delete this? Should I start over?
Nah, there will be at least one stranger out there who likes my inner demon self.
I hope.
So, hey… yeah. As the reader can conclude, I was bored, and I liked the concept of a PruCan versus an AusHun. If someone wants to take the subject of Pairing Fights, go right ahead, but tell me, I'll want to read them. I will try to rebuild those fourth walls I so evilly hacked down with my Death Scythe (hee, Kuroshitsuji reference.)
This was fun, I'm glad I'm making my crappy stories and imagination known. I hope to be a real author one day. With my books lining the walls of every library and bookstore known to man, translated in millions of languages (even British with their silly U's in everything), and everyone finds out I made my debut on a fanfiction writing site.
SHOUTOUT TO TIMELESSNIGHT, HETAFRUITSOURANHP123, GLITTERTRAILS, SARAHTONIN, JACKSONHANNING, BLUEMANGANINJA, ANGRYGERMAN AND CANADERP AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, VAMPIREPALADIN (Or whatever your names are.):
Sup, thanks for being awesome friends. I need to get any fiction trades to you and I'm sorry they're like, super duper crazy late. I hope you get to read your names in here. And people not mentioned on this list, become my friend and you could show up in a later fic. Love you all!
Okay bye, (My sign off needs work)
Loolie