Hi everyone! This is my first Homestuck fanfic. I'm warning you all that this chapter is a bit slow, but I need to set things up before it picks up, and things get...weird. That's all I'll tell you.

Disclaimer: Homestuck is owned by Andrew Hussie, as are his characters.


Your name is Jade Harley, and you have just woken up from one of your frequent and unpredictable naps. You yawn, stretch, open your eyes… And realize that your vision is blurry. Odd. You must have intentionally decided to nap, and taken off your glasses. You search about your room, and finally find them on your bedside table. That makes sense. You place them on your face, turn around, and see your large, white, faithful dog looking at you, wagging his tail.

"Hey there, boy!" you say to Becquerel. "Good boy! Best friend! You must be hungry. Let's find you some irradiated steaks!" You grab a raw steak out of the freezer and put it in your cookalizer. You set it to irradiate, wait a few moments, and a green, glowing steak is produced. Perfect! Just the way Bec likes it. You throw it at him, and he eats it gratefully.

You're not hungry yet, but you wonder what your friends are up to. You walk over to your computer, settle in, and log into Pesterchum. Your login screen completes its load, but unfortunately, it seems that none of your friends are online. You heave a sad sigh – it seems like they haven't been online very often lately. Oh well, you still have your loyal dog, Bec. Maybe you'll leave each of them a message, let them know you miss them. They'll likely get back to you soon, whether or not you're online. You smile as you highlight a screen name and open a chat.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:12 -

GG: hey there cool kid!

GG: soooo cooool

GG: too cool to be online i guess :)

GG: youve probably got some really cool things to be doing!

GG: and i guess the time difference could have something to do with it

GG: i dont know, i just wanted to see what you were doing

GG: its been kind of lonely :(

GG: rose and john arent online much anymore, either…

GG: but its ok! ive got Bec, and i get your messages when you come online! :)

GG: im going to message rose and john now

GG: cant wait to hear from you, cool kid! :)

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:16 -

You smile sadly, thinking of Dave. Soooo coooool. It amazes you, some days, that a dude as cool as he is willing to humour you. You're eternally grateful for his friendship. He's always willing to talk to you, and he's so funny and nice. And cool. You figure you'll message one of your other friends, now.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:20 -

GG: hey john! :)

GG: how are you today?

GG: pull any good pranks?

GG: your dad still baking too many cakes? :(

GG: i know he bakes a lot, but i still think that cake is delicious! :) i dont understand why you hate it so much :S

GG: have you pulled anymore awesome pranks? :3

GG: watched anymore awesome nic cage flicks?

GG: its really weird that none of you have been online lately…

GG: and sad :(

GG: because otherwise its just me and bec :(

GG: well anyways

GG: get back to me when you can, john! :)

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:25 -

You giggle at the thought of John watching his Nicolas Cage movies. He loves them so much. You've never seen one, yourself, but it's pretty hard to watch movies when you live on an island. You've been told you can download them off the Internet, but it doesn't seem right, not paying for them. You still don't entirely understand his hatred of cake, but he's so much fun to talk to, and always so positive, that it's always a pleasure to speak with him. Not to mention, his pranks are incredibly funny. You still have one more friend you'd like to contact.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:31 -

GG: hi rose! :)

GG: how are you? :)

GG: im sad that youre not online :(

GG: i hope you and your mom are getting along okay!

GG: have you been psychoanalyzing dave?

GG: i bet thats really fun :3

GG: he hates it but I think it would be funny to see! :)

GG: anyways i just wanted to say hi

GG: because were never online at the same time anymore

GG: im not going to wait and see if anyone comes online, though…

GG: im going to go play with bec! :) :)

GG: but hopefully well get to talk again soon!

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:36 -

You're sad that you couldn't talk to Rose. She's really smart, but she's never condescending about it. You appreciate her dry wit and sarcasm. She's a great friend, and it's nice to know another girl. You log out of Pesterchum, and walk back over to Bec, who is happily wagging his tail. At least you still have your good dog, your best friend. Maybe next time you check Pesterchum, your friends will be online. Or they'll have at least messaged you back. You smile at the thought of your friends, as you make your way to your garden.


If you guys could review this, that would be great! I've never written a Homestuck fanfic, and I have no idea if this is in character for Jade. -I- think it is, but that doesn't mean I've done a good job. Also, next chapter is going to be from Dave's POV, so if you have any suggestions for me on how to write Dave, that would be greatly appreciated!