1Harry Potter Song Fic
Don't Be Stupid
Hermione G. & Severus S.
Romance/Humor
Rated T
Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You) by Shania Twain
Summary: Hermione and Severus are together. Severus is way too over-protective. Hermione finds this somewhat cute, but also somewhat frustrating. Song-fic. Shania Twain's Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You).
GirlyGirl68: Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down...
Seamus: GirlyGirl68, this is not Mary Poppins!
GirlyGirl68: Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase...
Seamus: Nor is this The Lion King.
GirlyGirl68: Then what is it?
Seamus: It is your Harry Potter song fic.
GirlyGirl68: Oh! Okay. Just like I should, I'll getcha good.
Seamus: Not that one. You got the right artist, but the wrong song.
GirlyGirl68: Then what song am I doing for this one?
Seamus: Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You).
GirlyGirl68: Got it. Dramione fic. Let's go.
Seamus: No, not a Dramione fic, this is a Sevione fic.
GirlyGirl68: Huh?
Severus: Merlin's Saggy Balls Woman! This is your fic between myself and Hermione.
GirlyGirl68: Oh! That makes more sense! *Begins watching a fly buzz around the room.*
Lupin: Well since our author, is obviously not herself today, who wants to tell the readers a bit about this story?
Luna: I don't know what you all are talking about. I thought GirlyGirl68 was acting quite normal.
Dumbledore: I quite agree Miss Lovegood. Would you like to dance?
Luna: Of course Headmaster. *Begins dancing around as if at a ball.*
Sirius: O-kay then. While I try scrub that horribly disturbing image from my head, Ron do the disclaimer.
Ron: Alright then. GirlyGirl68 does not own Harry Potter, or any of the movies/songs mentioned in this fic. They all belong to their respective owners.
GirlyGirl68: If I did own them, I'd be rich, rich, rich!
Harry: GirlyGirl68, just stop talking.
GirlyGirl68: Whatever you say Lightning Man!
Ginny: Again, sorry about our author, it would seem that she's either high or she lost her mind.
GirlyGirl68: Can't lose whatcha never had!
Molly: Ugh. ON WITH THE FIC!
Overview: 5 years after Hermione had graduated from Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and Voldemort had been defeated once and for all, Hermione returned to Hogwarts to fill the position of Transfiguration Professor. Severus Snape survived the snake attack, and had resumed his position as Potions Master. And with the universe's incredibly cruel sense of humor, Hermione and Severus fell in love. No one knew exactly how it happened, just that it did. But then there have been weirder couples, not that any come to mind right away. They must have been happy together because it wasn't long before a white gold band topped with three rubies and three emeralds appeared on Hermione's left ring finger. They were married and loved each other with their whole being. Severus was no longer quite as scary or mean, and if you caught him in one of his more frequent good moods, you would even see him smile. Severus's only problem was that he was way too over-protective.
Hermione POV
I was sitting at the staff table in the Great Hall next to my husband, Severus Snape, and eating breakfast. All of the sudden I heard the flapping of wings and hooting, signaling the morning post had arrived.
My chestnut brown owl landed in the middle of eggs, holding a couple of letters in its beak. I took the letters, and gave my owl a slice of bacon, and it flew off.
I looked at the envelopes and saw that I had a letter from Harry and one from Ron. I opened the one from Harry first. As I was reading it I began to laugh.
Then I felt someone breathing down my neck. I looked up and saw that Severus was reading my mail over my shoulder.
"Severus! You do not need to read my mail. You know I hate it when you hang over my shoulder!"
"Whatever. I was simply curious as to what Potter could have written that was so funny."
"Well next time, mind your own damn business."
You're so complicated-
You hang over my shoulder
When I read my mail
That weekend Severus and I were invited to the burrow for lunch.
When we got there, I was immediately pulled into a hug by my two best friends, Harry and Ron.
We all went inside, and Ron, Harry, and sat down at the table to catch up each other's lives.
Harry had just said something incredibly funny, so I was laughing my arse off, when I was pulled out of my seat and dragged to the other room.
"Severus! What the bloody hell did you do that for?"
"They were staring at you."
"So? They're my friends."
"No, they were staring at you like they wanted you."
"Oh, Severus you are being paranoid. Harry thinks of me as a sister. So does Ron."
"No. The youngest Weasley wants you for his own."
I don't appreciate it
When I talk to other guys
You think they're on my tail
We were back in our shared quarters in the castle. Severus was reading a book on where to find rare potions ingredients, and I was talking to one of my friends on my cell phone.
After I hung up I turned around to see Severus glaring at me.
"What?" I asked him.
"Who was that? Why did they call you? What did they want? Was it another man?"
"Severus! Would you please stop that!"
I get so aggravated
When I get off the phone
And get the third degree
"Severus, calm down!"
"No I won't calm down!"
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because is not an answer. Take a chill pill and just trust me!"
I'm really feelin' frustrated
Why don't you take a pill
And put a little trust in me
And you'll see
"Severus! You don't know everything that happened, so quit jumping to conclusions!"
Don't freak out until you know the facts
Relax
"So? I think it's pretty obvious what happened."
"Severus, just listen. I love you more than anything else in the world. I will always want only you and need only you. So quit being so bloody impossible."
Don't be stupid-you know I love you
Don't be ridiculous-you know I need you
Don't be absurd-you know I want you
Don't be impossible
"Hermione, tell me why should I believe you?"
"Well for starters, how about because I'm your WIFE! And secondly I would die without you. Without you, I'm not whole. So don't be stupid, I'm hopelessly in love with you."
I'm mad about you (I'm mad about you)
Can't live without you (can't live without you)
I'm crazy 'bout you (I'm crazy 'bout you)
So don't be stupid-you know I love you
"What are you doing?"
"I'm painting my nails. Why?"
"Who are you doing them for?"
"No one! I'm just doing them for fun!"
Stop overreacting
You even get suspicious
When I paint my nails
"Severus! Stop being so over dramatic! It is sooo distracting!"
"How?"
"Because you are always hanging over my shoulder even when I'm trying to grade papers."
"Just put a P on every one."
"I will do no such thing! Some of these students actually put time into their papers and did the required research for it as well."
It's definitely distracting
The way you dramatize
Every little small detail
"For crying out loud Severus! Quit freaking out over everything I do. You don't know all the facts. If you did, it would be different. So just relax."
Don't freak out until you know the facts
Relax-Max
"I don't freak out. I am simply curious as to why you are doing such ridiculous things. And the only conclusion that I can come to is that you are doing it for someone else."
"Severus, darling, listen to me. I love you and only you. You know this. So quit being impossible."
Don't be stupid-you know I love you
Don't be ridiculous-you know I need you
Don't be absurd-you know I want you
Don't be impossible
"I am not being impossible, I am simply looking out for my wife."
"Severus, how many damned Merlin times to I have to tell you that I love you and only you. I am crazy about you."
I'm mad about you (I'm mad about you)
Can't live without you (can't live without you)
I'm crazy 'bout you (I'm crazy 'bout you)
So don't be stupid-you know I love you
"I know you love me, but what's to say you don't love someone else as well?"
"Severus, my love, this says that I love you and only you." I pulled a white stick out of my pocket. On said stick there was a little pink dash.
"What is this?"
"It's a positive pregnancy test."
"I don't believe it."
"Then you do the pregnancy spell on me and see for yourself."
Severus waved his wand and muttered a quiet spell. Suddenly my stomach started glowing blue. Which indicated that I was truly pregnant.
Don't be stupid-you're my baby
"So? All this proves is that you are pregnant. How do I know that i am the father?"
"Merlin's Saggy Balls Severus! You know the paternity spell as well don't you?"
"Yes."
"So quit complaining and use the damn spell on me, if you want proof that the fetus inside of me is yours and not someone else's."
Once again Severus waved his wand, and quietly muttered another spell. A gold line formed in front of my stomach, and then connected itself to Severus.
I'm mad about you (I'm mad about you)
Can't live without you (can't live without you)
I'm crazy 'bout you (I'm crazy 'bout you)
So don't be stupid-you know I love you
"There. Now you have your proof that you are in fact the father of my child. So now that you know that I am not cheating on you with anyone, would you please quit being so ridiculous?"
"I am sorry Hermione. As your husband I should trust you more than I do. I'm just so afraid that you are going to leave me for someone else."
"Why in the name of the wizarding world would you think that?"
"Because, I don't deserve a witch as truly wonderful and caring as you."
"Oh, Severus, you do deserve me. You have done so much good in your life. And yes, I know you have done a lot of bad as well, but all the good you have done, completely destroys all of the bad. You are my whole world. Besides I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me to marry you if I wasn't sure about how much I love you."
"Thank you Hermione. You don't know just how much I truly love you. I really don't deserve you."
Don't be stupid-you know I love you
Don't be ridiculous-you know I need you
Don't be absurd-you know I want you
Don't be impossible
"Well, why don't you show me just how much you love me?" I said as I winked at him, and started walking towards our bedroom.
"I think I will do just that my dear." Severus said as he quickly rushed after me, and nearly tackled me onto our bed.
GirlyGirl68: Well I... *Hand is clamped over mouth.*
Neville: Don't even start talking GirlyGirl68.
Hermione: Thank you Neville.
Kittycamo: Hey everyone. I'm GirlyGirl68's twin sister. I am sooo sorry about her. I just don't know what's gotten into her today.
Harry: Umm, Kittycamo?
Kittycamo: Yes, Harry?
Harry: What happened to all of the chocolate frogs?
Kittycamo: Uh-oh.
Harry: What?
Kittycamo: Well I think I know why my sister's acting the way she is now.
Harry: Why?
Kittycamo: She ate all of the chocolate frogs.
Harry: But we had 50.
Kittycamo: Exactly.
Harry: Oh.
Kittycamo: Yeah. Anyway, I hope everyone liked this story. Be on the look out for more song fics starring these three couples: Draco/Hermione, Severus/Hermione, and Harry/Draco. I have no clue when these stories will be posted or even finished, but just keep your eyes open for them.
Review or you shall be forced to watch Barny.