Hello, People who actually READ!

I already have a review! I'm guessing this is the first Blazing Saddles fic…I don't know…but I think so! Wow. I don't know why there aren't any others. Weird. Anyhow, I hope you like this so far! Happy reading!


Part I: Past

My father met my mother in Berlin. Mildred Little, a mutual friend…an American, had set them up. Bitch.

She didn't know it, but my Parents hated each other. Ivanna Holbein, mother, did not have enough education to get a good job. Hans von Studebaker, father, knew he was her only chance for survival. After a few months, he proposed. She accepted, and right after they got married, they tried to have a girl…and they succeeded. The next year, August 8-the day of the peace festival, I came. My mother and I were fairly close, unlike me and my father. When I turned four, she fell ill. She kept having high fevers and diarrhea. I was worried.

"Mama," I beckoned her, holding out a card. "I made you this."

She took it. "Ach, danke Sveetheart!" she replied.

"Vat good does a card do?" asked Papa. "Mama has to go through this agony, und you yust give her this gottverlassenen piece of paper! Töricht weibchen!"

"Hans, do not call her that! Sie muss nicht deinen Mist nehmen wie ich, wenn Sie vorgeschlagen haben mir!"

Papa was mad. He grabbed me, took me down to the cellar, and started beating me. I hated those beatings…

Mama was in a trance. She didn't talk to us for days. She just lay in bed, staring out the window. On the day she died, she gave me a little locket.

"Lili…" she said, weakly. "you muzt protect this nickelace vith your life. It vas your grandmuthers. I spvent the last vew days trying to figure out if I should give it to you or not. Vear it every day. Promise me you vill!"

"I vill mama!" I screamed, crying. "I vill, I vill!"

"Gut, my little bottervly."

She let go of my hand. "Auf Wiedersehen, Lili."

She closed her eyes, breathed out, and went to sleep. The next week, after her funeral, Papa and I moved to Dusseldorf. We stayed there for the next 5 years.

Save me, mama. Save me.