It's that time again! Here's a peak at the rewrite of Chapter 4


Snippet of rewritten Chapter 4

I woke up with a start, my body steaming uncomfortably in my clothes. After a few seconds, I unzipped my hoody and sat up on the floor.

"Hey," a familiar voice drew my attention to the door, "are you alright?" Mr. Flemmet left his spot at the door and placed the box he was holding on his desk before rushing over.

"Uh… Yeah." It seemed I'd been right, it had all been a dream. I tried to wrap my mind around that.

"That was a nasty fall you had there." Mr. Flemmet pointed out as he approached. "Here," he held out his hand. I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. I thanked him, and then rubbed the back of my head.

I must have hit my head really hard to have a dream that intense.

"I should have warned you about the floor, the janitor came in and cleaned it earlier than usual."

"Yeah. OK." The words were weak. I couldn't piece together anything else to say. The event replayed in my mind, and a wet floor made sense. He rested a firm hand on my right shoulder and bent down enough to put us on eye level, prompting me to look up from the floor. His eyes, concerned and searching for a sign of ill health, locked with mine.

"Are you sure you're-" He stopped mid-sentence, a quizzical expression overtook his face. An awkward silence followed. "-uh. Sorry about that." he apologized, his concern returning "I just remembered something from awhile back."

"Really?"

"Yeah, almost like déjà vu." I nodded limply. "Anyway, are you sure you're okay? I can take you down to the office and get you an ice pack." he offered. My mind, still reeling, was thoroughly done with the current scenario. All I wanted to do was head home and shove the event out of centre stage.

"Thanks, but I'm fine." I assured him, delivering a halfhearted smile. After a moment, he straightened himself and retracted his arm, lowering it to his side. "Alright." he said as he turned back to his desk. Walking up to it, he retrieved his box, and then turned back to me, still shifting its weight in his arms. "Just take it easy, okay?"

"Yup." I gave a short nod, still trying to hold that smile, and began heading for the door, and then spontaneously added, "I will."

"Good." his voice held relief, "I'll see you on Monday."

"C'ya"

The smile dissipated the second I reached the door. Once out in the hall, I hung a right, took one look at the exit, and began walking toward it. The door was slowly closing behind me, and when it finally clicked shut I bolted. Fresh air, I needed fresh air. I was sweating now, my body on fire. The exit was before me in no time flat, and I swung the right door open with all of my might. The thought that someone might be standing in its path spoke up, and was quickly dismissed. The doors had windows and no one was in sight. The only reason anyone would still be remotely close to its arching path is if they were sitting at the lunch table just outside.


Snippet of original for comparison.

I woke up with a start, sitting straight up on the floor.

"Hey," the voice drew my attention to the door, "are you alright?" Mr. Flemmet left his spot at the door and placed the box he was holding on his desk before rushing over.

"Uh… Yeah." I was right, it had been a dream; I tried to wrap my mind around that.

"That was a nasty fall you had there." Mr. Flemmet pointed out as he walked up. "Here," he held out his hand. Grabbing his hand in the form of a handshake, he pulled me to my feet.

"Thanks," I rubbed the back of my head.

I must have hit my head really hard to have a dream like that.

"I should have warned you about the floor, the janitor came to clean it earlier than usual."

"It wasn't the floor, I tripped on a desk or something."

"Yeah…" he glanced at the desk behind me, "Are you sure you're-" He stopped mid-sentence, a quizzical look on his face.

An awkward silence followed.

"Uh, sorry about that. I just remembered something from awhile back."

"Really?"

"Yeah, almost like déjà vu."

More silence.

"Anyway, are you sure you're okay? I can take you down to the office and get you an ice pack."

My reeling mind didn't allow me to fully comprehend the last few things he had said; all I wanted to do was run out the door to the computer lab and keep going until I got home.

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I'll see you on Monday."

I struggled to keep my cool as I walked towards the door, but once I was out in the hall and out of sight, I bolted for the exit. When I reached the double doors of the Tech Wing, I opened the right one so forcefully that anyone standing next to it would have been body slammed; or at least end up with a nasty bruise.