A/N Just a super short drabble I randomly thought of while drafting for Sloppy Babies (you haven't started reading? you probably should) enjoy!

Terrible Two's

Santana and I kind of prepared ourselves for the little heathen our sweet baby girl was bound to turn into. It was pretty inevitable because there was no way we would be blessed with two well-behaved little angels, that was just wishful thinking. Well, we thought we were prepared but we never prepared for how quickly our little girl would morph. It was like a switch flipped in her or something because as soon as that girl woke up on her second birthday, it was on.

"Look here missy, you're going to wear socks whether you like it or not!"

I tried hard to keep from smiling at the sound of Santana arguing with our daughter while I rummaged through the pantry for Dylan's animal crackers. There were some distinct shrieks of disapproval coming from Charlie's end, but from the sound of it, Santana had control of the situation. Their arguing always sounds a lot worse than it really is.

I ducked through the shelves, pushing boxes of cereal and canned vegetables out of the way in search of Dylan's favorite snack to tide him over until Santana was done getting Charlie dressed and we could leave for breakfast.

"Hey buddy, how about some croutons instead?" I called over my shoulder as I eyed the bag curiously. From the corner of my eye, I could see him peeking over the back of the couch as he leaned up on his elbows and rested his chin in his hands.

"What's that?" He asked with a giggle and I could practically hear him twisting up his face with confusion, similar to that of Santana's. It's really the cutest thing ever.

"Gross crunchy things mama likes to put on her salads," I answered as I shut the pantry door and walked back over to the couch to wait. I knew Dyl would totally lose interest, he hates like all things too crunchy: fries, kettle cooked potato chips, cereal when it hasn't been soaking in milk for almost an hour, "I doubt you'd like them.. too crunchy."


"Double eww!" I grinned as I sat down next to him and burrowed into my side, his tiny Nike covered feet dangling off the edge of the couch to rest on Slobberz' furry back. We sat quietly, listening to the sounds of Santana and Charlie hashing out another wardrobe issue until finally Charlie came bounding down the hall fully clothed with Santana following closely behind.

She looked tired and it wasn't only the beginning of the day!

"So nice of you to finally join us, baby girl!" I greeted as Charlie scrambled around the front of the couch, "Did you have fun ruffling up mama's feathers?" I was addressing Charlie, but mostly talking to Santana. Charlie was more occupied with shooing Slobberz out of the way so that she could sit next to her big brother. She was singing something I'd never heard before as she kept pushing at Slobberz behind so he'd move, and then got frustrated when he didn't.

"That's your child, Britt." Santana sighed, shaking her head as Charlie started up with her wailing because Slobberz wouldn't move for her, "She used to be so easy to handle and now she's done lost her mind." I just laughed while Santana slipped into her jacket, pretty much hiding from Charlie's sight. She was a total Santana's girl. They had a very love hate relationship, but when it came to being upset, Santana was the one to go to. I noticed the move so I bent down, hooking my hands under Charlie's arms and hoisting her up to sit in my lap to get her away from Slobberz instead. Her tiny hands fanned over her eyes as she sobbed, her little body shuddering through every cry.

"What's the matter, birthday girl?" I cooed, rubbing softly at her back in hopes of calming her down. Dylan eyed us both as he shuffled to his knees and tried peeking under Charlie's hands, "Huh, sweetheart? What's the matter?"

"Meanie!" She pouted and folded up her arms like a total diva. Sometimes I think that it was actually Santana that carried her because she didn't learn that from me! I tried to keep from smiling at her when she was just so distressed. I could hear from behind me Santana was cracking up; clearly we didn't have the same intentions. I watched Charlie's pale cheeks get redder and redder as she cried harder while I tried pulling her hands away from her eyes. She was so pissed, it reminded me of when we first brought her home and she was still getting used to everything.

"Slobberz is not mean," Dylan defended his dear companion who was now sitting with his back to us as he looked over at us with innocent eyes, "You have to be nice and he'll be nice too! See?" Charlie quieted as she watched her brother turn to the family dog and place a gentle pat on his head, "Could you please go away, Slobberz?"

Then, as if Slobberz understood Dylan completely, he got up and trotted to his doggy bed set up in the corner next to the bookshelf and laid down happily.

"Let me find out I gave birth to the next Dog Whisperer." Santana teased as she came around the couch, twirling her car keys around on her finger, "Ready guys?"

I nodded and kissed at Charlie's tear stained face before hauling her up on my hip and held my hand out for Dylan, "Who's hungry?"


We were meeting the Fabrevans plus Bella at one of our favorite restaurants; one that just so happened to shut the place down for us when we made a reservation, privacy was something we do not play around with especially with how young Dyl and Charlie still are. It was such a nice thing for them to do so we didn't really skimp on leaving a good tip.

"Late again," Quinn teased as Santana and I strolled in, her with Dylan clutching her hand and me with Charlie on my hip. She gave us that same smile she always give us, the one that's way too sweet, when she sees us walk in with the kids. It's like she'll never get used to our cute little family.

"At least we have a legit reason now," Santana chuckled as the waiters directed us to our usual table and she helped Dylan into the booth while I placed Charlie in the high chair.

"Yeah? And what's that?"


Sam and Quinn just laughed while Santana insisted she was being serious.

"They're laughing, why are they laughing?" Santana grumbled as she slid in next to Dylan who was already busy coloring with Bella.

"They just don't know, baby, it's okay.." I cooed and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek then slid my hand onto her thigh to give her a loving squeeze. She smiled back warmly, a sign that I still got it when it came to comforting her. I gave her one last wink before turning to see what Charlie wanted to eat while Santana did the same with Dylan. We had the whole going out to eat with the kids thing down pat, sure the first couple times were a disaster, but now? We're like a machine!

It didn't hurt that the two weren't nearly as picky as Quinn when it came to ordering either.


By the time the food came out, everyone had settled into a comfortable chatter. Quinn and Sam filled us in on their working lives while Bella gave a soccer story here and there. It was nice to be around friends, with how busy life can get with SnixxJuice and the kids, going out has gotten pretty rare. We barely get to see Cassie and Mason now that we've moved, but she's picked up on a fun new life too. The two are currently visiting Disney World or something, they were sad they'd miss Charlie's birthday so they gave their gifts and love before they left.

Everything was going fine until Charlie saw that Dylan got his dessert before her.

Yeah, she didn't like that at all.

"Mama. Mama! MAMA!" She started banging her fists on the table causing Sam's eyes to widen and not-so-discretely shuffle closer to Quinn's side. I looked to Santana and noticed her attempting to do the same.

"Pssst.." I hissed, nudging at her side while she tried disappearing into the booth, "I think our daughter would like to speak with you."

"You're closer, Britt, you deal with her. I've reached my daily limit when I got her dressed, it's your turn.." Santana pouted and started doing that super distracting thing with her fingers on my wrist, "Please?" She was batting her eyelashes now, very flirtatiously at that, and I was finding it harder and harder to resist. Then, to make matters even worse, she leaned in closer, lips inches away from my ear, as she whispered, "I'll make it up to you later?"

I gulped thickly and found myself turning to Charlie with a stern look, "Now honey, you know you can't have any dessert until you're finished with your food."

Charlie screwed up her face in a pout, lip trembling and all. You'd think I'd be immune to my own look of getting what I want, but I wasn't. Her blonde curls tied into two pig tails with little pink bows at the tops bounced as she wiggled anxiously as she worked that pout.

I glanced behind me at Santana who was urging me to tell our girl that there was no way in hell she'd be getting dessert when she barely even touched her mac and cheese. I kept my eyes flicker back and forth between the two girls that have slowly taken over my life and heard the sounds of Quinn and Sam laughing at my quickly faltering reserve.

"B-but, D!" Charlie whimpered and pointed over at her brother who was peacefully attacking his chocolate cake, chocolate frosting coating his tanned cheeks. He looked over at us at his mention, as innocent as ever.

But, despite how well-behaved he's gotten as he grew older, he definitely didn't forget where he came from: Santana. Seeing that his sister was so upset about cake, and it was her birthday, he got a little prideful of the fact and decided that it was a good idea to stick his tongue out at her.

"Dylan!" Santana chastised as Charlie picked up on crying again and tried scrambling out of her high chair and doing only God knows what to her brother.

"It wasn't me! It wasn't me!" He pleaded while Santana threatened to eat the rest of his cake in front of him and I tried to calm down Charlie.

"It wasn't? I saw you do it, son, I know I didn't raise you to be a liar."


"Uh-uh, say sorry to your sister."


"Mama's not here right now.." Santana called as she tried hiding again, "Talk to mommy.."

"San, how are you going to scold Dyl for lying when you're doing it too..set the example."

"I'm was giving an example! See that, D? Don't do that, don't do like what mama just did."

"Hide from Charlie?"

"No baby, I meant-"


"Here Charlie, have a little piece of cake."

"Brittany, no..don't give into her just because she's-"

"Hey! That's my cake!"

"Dylan, what did we learn about sharing.."

"Britt, don't give her that cake. Britt. Britt! Oh my God, Brittany! Damnit."

"Oooh, mama said a bad word!"


"Shut it, eat your cake."

"Don't tell our son to shut it, Santana."

"Don't give our daughter cake when she didn't even eat the rest of her food, Brittany."

"It's her birthday, she should have a little cake!"

"Oh yeah? Well you can say goodbye to yours because you're not getting ANY cake tonight!"


"More cake?"

"Not that kind of cake, son."

"What kind of cake then?"

"Extra good kind, Mama has the best kind, that kind that makes you forget about all that other cake you've had before-"

"Sweet talking won't get you anywhere."

"But..Mama buys cakes from the store!"

"Not this cake, you can't buy cake like that."

"Oh my God, Brittany, stop.."

"What? It's true.."

"Still not gettin' any."


"What? You got your cake, baby. You even made Mommy lose her cake, what else do you need?"

"Oh how I've missed this.." Quinn sighed as the three blondes sat back and watched Santana and I wrestle with the hooligans.

By the time lunch was over, Santana and I were covered in chocolate frosting which didn't look like chocolate frosting to the outside's eye, Charlie and Dylan were slowly falling asleep from their food comas, and Quinn Sam and Bella smiled like they had just seen the funniest movie ever.

"So, same time next week?" Quinn teased as we all walked towards the exit. Santana had Charlie slumped against her chest, pale arms curled around her neck as she kept her head tucked under Santana's chin while I carried a very sleepy Dylan in my arms. Santana and I looked to each other with wide eyes and almost laughed if it weren't for the threat of waking up the kids.

"We'll get back to you on that one," Santana answered finally as she pressed her hand to Charlie's back to support her as she ducked down to give Quinn a hug goodbye. I did the same for Dylan, though he's a much heavier sleeper than Charlie.

We set off for the car, Santana and I still somewhat giving each other the silent treatment after the little conflict in the restaurant. We worked diligently, strapping in each kid to their chairs, careful not to wake either of them up in hopes for a peaceful car ride. It wasn't until Santana was sat in the driver's seat and I in the passenger's when we actually started talking again.

"You're not really going to withhold," I took a quick peek behind me to make sure the two were still soundly asleep before turning back to face her, "Sweet lady sexin', are you?"

Santana just grinned cheekily, eyes steady on the road, as her right hand wandered over to my lap to find my hands, "I don't think your boobs could stand a night without me touching them."

"Yeah, you're probably right..you know, they're super sensitive and stuff after Charlie so you'll probably have to spend extra time on them."

"I'll spend all the time you want, baby."