I ain't never been one to fight.

I ain't never been one to sit still neither.

Though, I have been one to lie.

I have been one to be angry.

I have been one to hate.

Not a day went by in my high school days that I didn't do all three of those.

Not a day goes by.

I went to Richmond High School in 1999. I had a 2.4 grade average since my freshman year. However, the moment I walked through those doors I headed straight to the basketball sign up sheet.

Before I came to high school the sport I preferred was soccer. It was simple kicking and simple running.

But I had to join some sport that year.

Football was full, I was tired of soccer and wrestling was full of the heavy-set crowd.

Thus I had one choice:


Why did I have to do a sport?

To be completely blunt, totally honest, and the most truthful I have ever been in my life…

I did it for the boys.

Yeah, I like sports; the thrill of the win and the burn of the loss.

But I stuck it out for the boys.

Those muscle-building, constantly sweating, heavy breathing boys are the reason I did sports all through high school.

And the best part? No one knew.

Let me be very clear that I was no prissy little bitch that would carry purses and wear make up.

I just…did it for the boys.

For two years I got away with it. I got away with the constant glances and never ending fastening-of-the-heart I got when we retreated to the locker rooms.

Did I deny it?

Fuck yeah. I still do.

But I got away with it and that was all that mattered.

Then came my junior year.

I didn't fight.

I didn't sit still.

I was angry.

And I lied hourly.

And I hated.

Those things weren't to my teachers, though. Yes, I lied to my friends and I was angry with my parents.

But what did I hate?


I hated me.

In came my junior year.

And everything changed.