Hello everyone, Sugar has finally had some inspiration. This is a little sad but I really liked reading this. This sort of hits home, my father I don't have the greatest relationship and I did this based on the things that happened to Sirius. I hope you all enjoy. I know I changed some little details but it was just to fit the story. Please Review! This takes place before fifth year and ends a little later when Sirius dies.
Circe didn't see herself as a hateful person. In fact she though that she was a pretty kind person. She might have been a criminal, a scammer but not a hateful person. As ironic as it might sound, she was taught to be grateful of everything around her and to be grateful for the people in her life. She never had many close friends or close relatives, in fact the only person she trusted was her aged grandmother who was, at the moment, in her deathbed. However, this she could not forgive. How dare her ungrateful father waltz in and out of her life as if though it was no big deal? At the moment she was at a very uncompromising situation. She had been kidnapped by her father and her godfather, and had been locked in a rotting house, that belonged to her other grandmother, with said terrible people.
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Circe could not believe the situation that she had gotten herself into. She guessed it was her fault, falling asleep in that snitch's house. She should have seen it coming. Trust Mundungus Fletcher to snitch on you. She had learned her lesson, never make a deal with Mundungus Fletcher and expect him to do his end of the deal. Not only had she lost a couple hundred galleons to that man but she also got herself in the situation that she was in now. She couldn't believe that the man in front of her was as bold as everyone made him seem. He had the nerve to come looking for her after all these years. To just waltz in and out of her life as if though it was no big deal, to claim that he loved her after abandoning her for fourteen years. She still could not believe that this man was her father, that she was related to this person. How her mother fell in love with him was a mystery.
"…Circe, are you listening to me?" an obnoxious voice snapped her out of her thoughts. Her head turned to face her father. Sirius Black, the bane of her existence. Without him she would have never existed but at the moment she wished her existence was just a dream, a hope, instead of a reality. She turned her head to see the other person standing in the room, self-proclaimed godfather, Remus Lupin. Circe didn't think as bad of him as she did with Sirius. Yes Sirius, not daddy, dad, father or any other term you would call a father. Sirius rid himself of that title the day he walked out on her and her mother to help avenge his precious godchild, Harry Potter. The only other person she hated as much as her father was that nosy orphan. Just the other day she and Sirius were having a relatively loud argument and that nosy boy walked in the room and started defending Sirius. As if he would know anything about having a wayward father, who cared more about his godchild, that his own family, he was just a damn orphan.
"CIRCE" once again that obnoxious voice interrupted her thoughts. She noticed that Remus had left the room. He probably felt as if though he needed to give them privacy. She scoffed and turned her attention to Sirius before he called her name one more time, he shouldn't even have the right to say her name.
"Yes Sirius, how may I help you" she responded.
"You know, you can call me dad. We already talked about this Circe." He retorted.
"Why should I call you dad? You need to be a father to be referred as that term." She snidely answered back. His sharp gaze softened and he sat down on the chair adjacent to her. She noticed the shift of his posture. Gone was the angry Sirius Black who demanded attention, there sitting next to her was a man that was overpowered by guilt. She was glad that he was feeling this guilt, because of him her life turned for the worst. Because of him she was made to face decisions too mature for her age. When she was about twelve she started analyzing her father's action. The more she analyzed, the more she realized how selfish they were. Even though she didn't know the whole truth as to why he was prison, she realized either way it was a lose-lose situation. He knew what he was doing and yet he decided to leave them. She glanced back at Sirius and noticed his gaze. It was a sad gaze, one whose message was clear. He wanted her to forgive him and somewhere deep down she did want to forgive him but before she could turn to mush she remembered his selfish act and the only thing she could do was glare. Deep down she did crave for her dad, a dad who would tell her everything would be okay. That she could go be a normal teenager and he would be there when she came back. A dad she could see every day and tell him that she loved him and he would return her love. Yet she knew that was just a fantasy, and it would never happen. No matter if she even did forgive Sirius. She opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by him once more.
"Circe, I just want to remind you that I'm sorry, I know because of me you never had the perfect life I wanted you to have and I know I deserve the treatment you are giving me but I just want to be there for you again. I realized that gone is the little two year old princess that I left behind and I know you are capable of taking care of yourself but I just want to be able to be your father again. I just want you to love me again." His words pierced Circes heart and for some reason she felt her eyes water. She didn't know why but once again the want to forgive him was there. Her head turned to the side and she began to busy herself looking at the books in the library as he continued speaking.
"It was incredibly stupid of me to think that you would welcome me with open arms but I never expected you to hate me so much. I never expected you to resent me so much." Before he could continue she interrupted his confession.
"I never said that anything about resent, Sirius. You want to know why I'm so angry with you, why I feel the hate that I feel. It's because it seems to me that you care more about that bloody orphan than you do for your own daughter. You sacrificed your life for your best friend and his kid. Did we not seem important to you Sirius. Were mother and I not worthy enough for your care, for your love? Because that's how it seemed on my end of the deal." She could feel the hot angry tears drop from her eyes. His head snapped up and his gaze made her want to ball up in a corner and sob her eyes out. She couldn't believe that after so many years of having thought that she was alone in this world, after so many years of believing she would never see her father again, here she was confessing her feelings to him; refusing to make eye contact with him as she continued.
"Yes, ok I am jealous of bloody Harry Potter. You want to know why, because my own father sacrificed his life for him. Because even though he doesn't have his parents he still has friends that care for him and love him and support him. What am I left with, an alcoholic mother, a dying grandmother, and a band of misfit criminals?" Maybe she was being dramatic and maybe he didn't deserve her hate but she was just sixteen years old. She had a right to be dramatic and make ridiculous claims, but really what did she get? A wayward father that loved and cared for his godson more than his daughter. The only life Circe knew was that of criminals, that was the environment that she grew up in and that was the only thing she was good at, being a misfit.
"I don't belong here with you Sirius. I love what I do, it may be a shitty life but it's the only life that I know and I'm not going to drop my whole life just for you. What about mother? She may have been a shitty one but she is my mother and I can't just leave her." Circe got up from the chair she was sitting in. Was he really expecting for her to just drop everything and come live with him.
"Don't you see Circe; I'm giving you the opportunity to start a new life. An opportunity for you to enjoy life as a teenager and let me handle all of your problems let me be your dad." He got up as well from his seat and was approaching her as he spoke those words. He was stupider than she thought. She wouldn't do it; she had responsibilities, ones she didn't ask for, but responsibilities none the less. Circe had a grandmother to care for and a mother that needed help and support, and she would give her only family all the help and support that they needed.
"Sirius, I'm not you. I'm not going to run away from all my problems, that something that you do. You're not responsible enough to care for yourself. How are you going to care for somebody else, I'm surprised that you've agreed to care for that nosy twat." She spoke back with a passive face, she felt the tear marks dry up and Circe was sure that they were visible in her face because of her eye make-up. She knew Sirius was offended because of what she called Harry, more proof of his love for that bother.
"Don't call him that, you guys could be great friends if you tried. Trust me I can see it. We could be a happy family."
Circe was offended that he would suggest being nice to the orphan. Someone had to hate him, he was everyone's favorite.
"Sirius, I'm going to leave now. To face my responsibilities and to face my life, I want you to know that I do forgive you, that you should no longer feel the need to be indebted to me. I do not wanted to be somebodies burden. I can take care of myself, please know that if things had been different I would have gladly told the things you want to hear, but I can't. I can't forget the betrayal, you have chosen you're path and I've chosen mine. Please Sirius, today I want to leave without any hatred. I rid you of all your guilt and I hope you live a prosperous, free life." Just as she was about to make way to the door he stopped me. The tears visible on his face and a heartbroken expression, she felt sorry but she knew this was what she had to do. To save herself from more heartbreak, to save herself from more tears; Circe had to be strong, not only for her but for mother and grandmother.
"Circe, I'm..." he tried to finish his sentence but he knew there was no way to change her mind. He knew he had lost his daughter physically when he was imprisoned but he would have never imaged to lose her all together.
Circe gave him one last look to see his longing face. She had to leave now or she was stuck there forever.
"I'm sorry Dad" she gave him a small smile before exiting the drawing room. As she left she heard the man she once adored break down, it was her fault but this was the way it had to be. Circe had to protect herself. Before she left the house she saw Remus and she gave him a smile, an apologetic smile, but a smile none the less. Circe saw him approach the drawing room, no doubt to console her wayward father.
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Months later as she was cleaning her little house she got an owl. The owl Circe was waiting for ever since she said goodbye to her father. With a sad smile she picked up the letter and gave the owl a treat before it flew away. With hesitation she opened the letter. Circe had lost many people over the last year. Her grandmother had died shortly after she saw Sirius and her mom later on during Christmas time because of her grandmothers' death. Circe now lived alone in a flat in London. She finished school, St. Pope Johns School for Witches and Wizards, and was now an apprentice to a potion master in Wales. Opening the letter that was addresses to Circe Penelope Black she read. As she read the letter the tears involuntarily fell from her eyes. Sirius Black was dead and he left her all of his belongings, even the Black inheritance; the only thing she had lost was the Black house that was left to Harry Potter and she was fine with that. Circe couldn't believe she was the last standing Black. With a sad smile she looked out her window, Circe had forgiven her father that night and she hoped that he died knowing that he was forgiven.
Did you all enjoy? I'm just glad you read the whole thing. Yay please review!
Love Sugar Sweet Apples!