So I have gotten a huge response from all of you! (Well, huge for me.) So here is chapter 3! It may take awhile for part 4 to be posted because I have yet to write it, and my other fic is my focus. Here it is!
Edward pov:
A choice.
Leave, and keep my original promise, or, go to her, maybe heal the constant pain she seemed to be. The second option was much more tempting, but was it the right choice?
I paced and paced deliberating.
I can't choose! I have to watch her, I only saw one night. What if that was one of the worst days? What if it was one of the better ones?
That last thought had me running. If Bella was worse, I would show myself, if not….. well, I didn't know yet.
I ran all the way to her house. It was still early morning so I perched myself in the tree outside her window. She was sleeping again though not restfully. She finally woke and stretched. It was still very early for her to be awake. She had dark circles under her eyes and she didn't look like she had gotten much sleep. I knew she hadn't.
She made a huge breakfast for Charlie but didn't eat much herself. She was distracted by something. This was yet another time I wished I could read her thoughts. Charlie left soon after breakfast leaving Bella alone. She just stood in the kitchen looking lost. She looked though all the cabinets, they looked more organized than I remember, and finally decided to organize Charlie's fishing gear.
It was an hour before Bella finished. Each move seemed to hurt her a little bit more. Tears were running down her face by the time she finished. It took every ounce of self control I had to keep me from running in there and comforting her. She put everything away and settled on the couch and cried silently. She curled up into a ball and held her sides.
This was the position Jacob had mentioned. She did that when she…. when she thought about me.
This caused me more pain than anything else that had happened. She was hurt because of me. I hurt her more than I thought I would. She hadn't moved on like I hoped she would. She and I just sat I our places and suffered our own kind of misery.
It must have been an hour later that Jacob showed up. I had carefully avoided going around the front of the house so that he wouldn't smell me, but I still moved further out into the woods just in case.
Jacob knocked on the front door and startled Bella, who got off the couch and opened the door. When Jacob saw her blood shot eyes, he immediately wrapped his arms around her and led her back to the couch. I was instantly jealous of his freedom. I would give anything to trade places with him.
In his head, Jacob was going over last night and it didn't take long for him to figure out what was wrong. He just held her and let her cry into his shoulder. She eventually stopped crying and looked up at Jacob.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered.
"For what?" Jacob said, totally confused.
"For this," she gestured to herself and especially her eyes, "and putting you through it all. You deserve so much better."
Jacob and I were both shocked. Better? She was the best either of them could ever hope for.
"Bella don't say that. It isn't your fault that stupid bloodsucker did what he did. You have no reason to apologize." She just shook her head at her words. This caused Jacob to have a quick, but gruesome, mental image of him killing me. I couldn't blame him, in his shoes I would feel the same way.
I made up my mind right then. That night I was going to show myself to her. I would hopefully make right a wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she would take me back.
Jacob was already gone when Charlie got home around five. He ate dinner and went straight to bed and Bella seemed to have the same idea.
After I was sure Charlie was asleep, I slipped into Bella's room through the window.
I had debated how to do this all day. Should I knock on the front door? Appear in the window and hope she lets me in? I finally decided it would be best to appear in her room when she came in. She might not kick me out then. I stood by the window and prepared myself for her reaction. I could have never been prepared for it though.
When Bella opened the door and saw me, her eyes got very big and filled with tears. She fell to the floor and sobbed into her hands.
"No, no, no. I can't be crazy, not now when Charlie needs me most. No, no, no!" She didn't look up as she said this. She kept shaking her head and crying into her hands. I was frozen for a split second and then I was then comforting her. I slipped my arms around her and picked her up and put her on her bed.
"Bella, you are not crazy. Why would you think you were?" I said as soothingly as I could. She seemed to completely ignore me and continued to talk to herself.
"First his voice, and now this. I guess I shouldn't have encouraged it or chased it. It was only a matter of time before…." She trailed off. What could I say to that? I just kept my arms around her and rocked her back and forth. Slowly, she stopped crying and looked up at me.
"I'm dreaming or I've completely gone off the deep end because you are not really here." Bella said quiet simply.
"Bella, I'm really here. Can't you feel me?" I said.
"Delusions can be this wonderful, I would know." She stared at me and seemed to be taking in my features as if to commit them to memory. "Though I do admit, this is much better than my usual encounters. I usually only hear your voice. You're so life like; I could almost believe you're real."
"Bella, I'm here, I'm real. I'm not a dream or a delusion. I came back. I came back to ask for your forgiveness and to see if it was ever possible for you to ever forgive me after everything I've done." I looked into her eyes, and saw the beginnings of hope there, but they quickly evaporated. She looked down at her bed sheets.
"I don't believe you."