I know, I know... "You should be working on Misadventures 3." But I saw this nifty urban legend and I couldn't help but add in a brief Misadventures Interlude based on it... Anyways, enjoy!

Oh yeah... This was typed on my iPhone. Shout out to Sorel, my most recent writing partner, who suffers the same issue.


"Damn, she's ugly." The picture in question that I and Mileena were looking at was of a woman with dead eyes and a face slit ear to ear. I heard a soft growl from Mileena as she apparently took offense to my comment. "Milly, your mouth is fine. It hasn't been cut from ear to ear like a damned British gangster wanted to torture you with a Chelsea grin. You look natural. That" - I pointed to the picture - "isn't natural."

"What exactly is it? Um... She?" Mileena was curious as to where this woman came from, and as such, I read on.

"People traveling at night should be wary to avoid telephone poles and light posts, and lurking behind them may be one of the most ruthless ghosts in Japanese history: the Kuchisake-Onna, or "slit-mouthed woman." She may walk up to you, wearing a surgical mask found in many Japanese convenience stores, and will ask you, "Am I beautiful?" If you say no, she will decapitate you with a pair of bloody scissors she carries with her. If you say yes, she will expose her mouth and ask, "How about now?" Saying "Yes" will result in your mouth getting slit like hers, turning you into a Kuchisake-Onna if you are a female, and saying "No" will result in you getting cut in half. You cannot run away from her, as she will continually reappear in front of you until you answer her questions."

I gave a soft chuckle. "Sounds like you, Milly."

She slapped me on the shoulder. "Don't push your luck, Teddy."


"What do you need, Sareena?"

The demoness smiled at me. "I want to make some cheesecake. Can you go to the store and get me the stuff I'll need?"

Shrugging, and remembering I wasn't going to be doing anything later that day, I gave a nod. "Eh, why not?"

Stepping outside, I immediately noticed how dark it was. The only thing nearby was a flickering lamppost which I quickly walked past.

Suddenly, there was a noise. It sounded like some sort of rustling. Considering the fact that it was probably a stray cat, or a coyote, or some other animal, I continued on.

"Am I beautiful?"

The voice suddenly broke through the silence of the evening. Turning around, I saw a shadowy figure some twenty yards behind me. Thinking it was possibly a robber or something, I sped my pace up, coming to the road... and telephone poles. I sighed, having apparently gotten away from whoever it was that was chasing me as I leaned against the wooden pole.

"Am I beautiful?"

I recoiled, turning my head to the side and spying a woman. She appeared Oriental, with white irises and a surgical mask on her face, a brown longcoat covering her body. "What the..."

"Am I beautiful?"

Cautiously, I stepped towards the woman, who merely continued to look at me. I noticed a rusted, blood-caked pair of scissors in her hands.

"Am I beautiful?"

Realizing I had nothing better to do, and considering I had a great suspicion about the person in front of me, I gave an answer.


With that, the woman quickly ripped off her surgical mask, revealing her massive maw...

Then I realized who it was.

"HA HA HA HA HA! You should've seen the look on your face, Markus!"

Pulling the half-Tarkatan princess into my arms, I smiled, laughing as she was doing. "Don't ever do that to me again, okay, sweetie?"

She sighed, her mouth returning to its normal form as she kissed my cheek. "I promise..."

With that, we went on our way to get some cheesecake materials...

It was good that we went to the restroom. Mileena needed to clean the cake blood makeup off her mouth. Hurriedly, the two of us found the cheesecake mix and graham cracker crust, purchased it, and began our journey home. Mileena had taken out her contacts, but still had her own personal mask covering her mouth.

"Am I beautiful?"

I looked at Mileena, smiling. "Damn right you are."

She then shook her head at me. "Um... Markus, that wasn't me."

"Am I beautiful?"

I turned to try and look for where the sound was coming from, and then, I saw her.

There was a woman, only a few feet away from us, shrouded in the darkness. I could tell she was wearing a long coat, and had black hair going down to her shoulders. I could just make out the outline of her surgical mask in the darkness. "Oh shit..."

"Am I beautiful?"


I watched, almost in horror, as Markus stepped towards the spectral entity. I had to admit, his boldness in the face of imminent death surprised me. With a smile, he looked into the gleaming, soulless eyes of the Kuchisake-Onna. "Would you like to come to my house for some cheesecake?"

The slit-mouthed woman cocked her head to one side at an almost unnatural angle, seemingly curious. "Am I beautiful?"

Markus didn't seem to mind as he moved closer to her, restraining her right wrist(and thus, the hand holding the scissors). "Are you?"

"Am I beautiful?"

My boyfriend remained perfectly calm for a moment, not moving a single muscle as the Kuchisake-Onna tried to extricate her hand from his grasp, her gleaming dead eyes angrily staring into his own.

Then he did something that was both incredibly brave and incredibly foolish.

With his free right hand, he suddenly reached up, tearing the slit-mouthed woman's mask free from her face. I saw her mouth for a brief second, the unhealed scars of her slitting going from ear to ear, leading directly to her lips. Dried blood caked the slit, and her lips were dark red, glistening as though blood came from them. With a sharp tug, he twisted the Kuchisake-Onna's right arm behind her back, the sudden stress causing the murderous scissors to come out of her hand.

With a quick roll, I slipped behind the spectral entity, pulling the scissors away and stuffing them in the pocket of my own long coat. When I stood up to survey the situation, I gasped at Markus's lips being pressed flush against the scarred ones of the Kuchisake-Onna, watching with shock and horror as he continued to press his face into her own. Though she seemingly tried to get away, her demeanor mellowed out more and more until she slowly relaxed, her arms draped limply over Markus's shoulders. As Markus pulled back, the light in her pale eyes began to die down until it revealed her true eye color: a light blue with a good deal of white in it. She sighed as Markus let go of her wrist, shaking her arm.

"Thank you..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why the change of demeanor?"

The Kuchisake-Onna shrugged. "My master does not need me anymore, it seems..." She frowned as best she could. "I am... Well, I was Hamako Kimura. The demon sorcerer known as Quan Chi placed my soul into this body many Earthrealm years ago, and I have been murdering for hundreds of years in his name."

Markus frowned. Yet another abandoned puppet of Quan Chi freed from his service... "Come with me. Undead murderess or not, you are going to sit down at my table and enjoy a slice of Sareena's cheesecake."

It was all gone. The slices were divided up between us, each getting a single slice. Not a single crumb of the cheesecake was left.

"So Hamako, I'd like to help you out." Markus smiled as the Japanese figure of legend wiped her mouth, the blood leaving the tear on her face.

"How can you help me?"

"Well... How would you like me to remove the scarring on your face?"

The Kuchisake-Onna gasped. "How?"

"Plastic surgery."

"What is this plastic surgery you speak of?"

"Oh, and I'll make sure to get you a house, a job, etcetera. That sound good?"

The undead woman was nearly in tears at the generosity Markus was showing her. "Thank you..."


Mileena and I were stopping at Panera to get a bite to eat. Stepping up to the counter, I looked at the menu. "I'll have a steak and cheddar panini."

The woman nodded as she pressed in my and Mileena's orders, her Oriental features and gracefully-flowing black hair accentuating how hard she was working. I pulled out a ten dollar bill to pay for the meal, but she gripped my wrist, exactly as I had done to her weeks ago.

"Hmm... It seems that you will get your meal free today." Hamako smiled at me.

"You know, you're quite beautiful."

A tad of the remaining scar from her surgery showed itself on her face.

"How about now?"