17Faceless - Chapter 1
For what seemed like the thousandth time, I dragged my eraser over the paper in front of me, trying to fix yet another mistake. No matter what I did, I couldn't get it right. The sun was just beginning to rise-I'd been up for hours now. Like most nights lately, I hadn't been able to sleep. Frustrated, I pulled the page out of my sketch book, crumpled it up, and hurled it across the room.
"I'll just start over...again..." I mumbled to myself. My ass was starting to go numb from sitting in the window seat for so long. I didn't really care, though. This was the only place I could really think. At least, it was the only place in my apartment. On the normal early mornings I would marvel at the rising sun, loving how each dawn looked different than the one before.
Now, everything had gone to shit.
I couldn't paint, sketch, or even doodle to save my life. I had projects waiting to be finished and new inquiries piling up, but he was the only thing I could think about. Every time I closed my eyes, I remembered the way his voice sounded, how his skin felt against mine, how we moved together. I remembered how alive I felt that night. In fact, I could remember every detail about him...except for anything involving his face. Every contour of his beautiful body, from the neck down, was burned into my memory. I grabbed a pillow off the chair next to me and sat on it, which guaranteed me some semblance of comfort for the next couple of hours so I could continue to try and draw him.
I could say with certainty that he had wild, copperish hair, shocking green eyes, and that his name was Edward. The rest was all guesswork. I'd gone through four more sheets of paper and heard his velvet voice in my head countless times when my cellphone began buzzing on the coffee table across the room. I knew it was Alice; she was always the first one to call me in the mornings.
"Good morning sunshine!" she greeted.
"Hey," I said, trying to hide the exhaustion in my voice.
"So, before you come in this morning, I was hoping you could stop at the store and pick up a couple of things. We need more coffee, creamer, and paper towels for the kitchen, some printer paper, and tampons." Alice listed things off quickly. "Did you write that down, Bella?"
"Hmm?" I asked, trying to focus on what she was saying.
"Coffee, creamer, paper towels, printer paper, and tampons. I'd get them myself, but the electrician is coming by the office in a bit to fix the AC and heater. Are you even listening to me?" she asked, sounding irritated.
"Yeah, I heard you," I said, quickly scribbling down the list of items she'd just barked at me.
"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" she asked, her voice softening.
"I can't help it," I whined.
"Honey, it's been over a month now, and it was a one-night stand. I think it's time for you to either stop obsessing over him, or go out and find him. This is affecting your work life now, and it's not good."
I hated it when Alice chastised me.
"I know," I sighed. "I'm going to start working on some of my other projects today. I promise."
"You have a new commission from Newton, by the way. He's been very patient...still annoying as all hell, but he's brought us a lot of business."
She was right...unfortunately.
"Anyway, try to be here by noon today. And please, for the love of God, don't forget the tampons."
After showering off quickly, I pulled my messy hair up into a bun and threw some old jeans and a sweater on. There were definitely some perks to being an artist and working with my best friend. I couldn't remember the last time I had to get dressed up to go into the office, and really, I was leaving the makeshift studio in my apartment to go the studio in my office at work.
While I wandered through the grocery store, I found the coffee and creamer Alice requested, and then threw in some extra Cheetos and ramen packets just for the hell of it. I always had my own stash of snacks. I'd often told Alice that food was my inspiration. When I walked down the feminine hygiene aisle, I felt a strange, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My eyes scanned passed the many different packages of tampons and pads and landed on the small section of pregnancy tests.
"No..." I said out loud, fishing my phone out of my pocket. I opened up the calendar app and scanned through it, desperately trying to remember when the date of my last period was. I counted slowly, over and over again. Every time, the outcome was the same and I was forced to realize that my period was three weeks late. I couldn't understand how I hadn't noticed until now, but that didn't stop my hand from reaching out and grabbing the closest pregnancy test. In a rush, I grabbed the rest of the things off Alice's list, paid, and drove to the office in a daze.
I shoved the test in the front pocket on my jacket and shakily grabbed the rest of the shopping bags. The electrician was in Alice's office when I walked in, but she still called out to me.
"Did you get everything I asked you for?"
"Yeah," I replied, dryly and set the bags down in the doorway to the small kitchen. Before she could say anything else, I hurried past my studio and locked myself in the bathroom.
There's no way, I chanted over and over again in my head. I turned the fan on, in an attempt to block out any noises Alice might hear on the other end of the door. She may have been my best friend, but she was also the nosiest person I'd even known.
I peed on the first test that came in the box, capped the stick and set it as far away from me as possible while I waited. For the duration of those ten minutes, I thought I was going to die. Beads of nervous sweat broke out across my forehead, and my hands shook in my lap. I decided to sit on them, in an attempt to try and calm down.
I may have been a twenty-five year-old with a fairly successful career, but I was in no way prepared to be a parent. Especially not a single parent. I didn't even know the man I'd last had sex with. That night was, without a doubt, the best of my entire life, but I was suddenly feeling extraordinarily guilty for allowing myself to be so irresponsible with a total stranger.
I thought about what he-Edward-might say if he were here with me right now and remembered the way his breath felt across my neck as he kissed me and told me I was beautiful. I couldn't explain it, but in the moments we were together that night, I felt like I'd known him my for whole existence. How pathetic was it that I couldn't even remember what he actually looked like? As I reached over to grab the test, I envisioned seeing only one line on the screen. I'd read about the power of positive thinking once somewhere.
But when I focused on the small screen in front of me, I didn't see one line, but two very bold ones. My throat constricted and my heart beat painfully in my chest. I was pregnant.
In that moment, every detail of Edward's inhumanly gorgeous face snapped into place in my mind, and I'd never felt so alone in my entire life.
Hello everyone! Yes...It's been an extremely long time since I've had anything to do on FF. But I've had a few ideas that seemed to just be taking on a lives of their own, so I decided to try and give this a shot again. I'm sure some people are going to think this storyline has become clichéd and overused, but I'd like to think I can do a good job at keeping things original. That's all I'm going to say about it, otherwise I'd be giving too much away (teehee).
As always, I appreciate any feedback you may have to give me. Please do tell me what you think! Many many thanks!