17The first thing I noticed when I tried on my third outfit was that I was incredibly bloated. There was no getting around it. I desperately wanted to pull on my yoga pants and a hoodie, but I knew better.
I don't know why I agreed to go out with him. Maybe it's because I was feeling bad for yelling at Alice the way I did. Maybe it was because I couldn't deny how unbelievably attracted I was to him. Or maybe it was because for just a moment, I'd allowed myself to believe that this might actually work.
I didn't know what the right thing to do in this situation was. If I didn't tell him, he'd never know and I'd raise the baby on my own. It was the simplest solution, and I had other people to help me. I didn't need him in the picture. I didn't want him in the picture. Edward was a stranger. Albeit, a hot, dazzling stranger, but not someone I needed to be a part of my life. Even if he was the best sex I'd ever had.
On the other hand, I felt like it was morally wrong for me to just not tell him I was pregnant with his child. Did he need the burden? He did take part in making the baby, and he was pretty willing. Maybe he wanted to help raise it as well? I doubted it, and I knew that all it would take was one rejection for me to lose any and all confidence I had in myself.
Alice was supposed to go Lamaze classes with me, not some man whose hands made me feel like my skin was deliciously on fire.
I settled on a pair of jeans and a nicer top, nothing fancy, but nothing too boring. Alice spent a good twenty minutes trying to hide the bags under my eyes.
"Aren't you supposed to be glowing?" she asked, smudging more powder on my face.
"Apparently not, since I'm about as bright as a dead light bulb," I grumbled. She snorted.
"Well, at least your boobs look great. I mean, they're bigger and…" she reached down, copping a feel. "Firmer."
"Alice!" I protested. She had no sense of personal boundaries. In her world, allowing her into the bathroom while I got ready for a date gave her full permission to poke and prod me wherever she wanted.
"Don't complain," she laughed. "But you're going to need a new bra soon. You're practically bulging out of the one you have now."
"It was small before," I argued. "I'm not pregnant enough for my boobs to double in size."
"Yes you are," she said, tapping my shoulder to let me know she was finished. I looked in the mirror and shrugged, still feeling perfectly average, just looking more rested.
To be safe, I'd told Edward to pick me up at Alice's house, not letting him know it wasn't my place. He arrived at seven thirty on the nose, just as he'd said he would. I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I went to answer the door, but it was like they were trying to escape through my bellybutton.
"Bella," Edward said, smiling when I opened the door. I stood there awed by how stunning he looked. His copperish hair was styled into a perfect mess, and he was wearing a simple t-shirt that hugged his chest and jeans, which hung just low enough on his hips to make me want to rip them off him. He had a jacket slung over his arm.
"Hi," I said, meekly. I pulled the door shut behind me and locked it with the spare key Alice had given me.
"You look very nice," he said, somewhat formally.
"Oh, thanks….so do you," I responded, awkwardly. I got into his car, and buckled my seatbelt, nodding when he asked if a small Italian restaurant downtown was okay for us to go to. We made small talk the entire way there. It was painful. Painful enough for me to want to make a run for it when we stopped at a red light.
The painful small talk continued until we were seated in a somewhat private booth and the back of the restaurant.
"I'm sorry I left before you woke up," he blurted out.
I looked up from my menu, surprised.
"I don't normally do that," he continued. "I should have at least gotten you a cup of coffee or something and then we could have parted ways. That's what normally happens."
"Oh, so you make a habit of sleeping with random women?" I asked, feeling horrified and trying to seem nonchalant about it.
"No!" he gasped, running his fingers through his hair. "That's not what I meant. God, I'm making a mess of this. I, uh—I had something come up."
He seemed nervous. It was oddly cute. The tension between us, however, was not. It was a cross between something sexual and something angry.
"At seven in the morning?" I asked, quizzically. "Really, Edward. It's alright. Isn't that how one-night-stands are supposed to be? We don't have to pretend it was something that it wasn't."
"But that's not it!" he protested. "Bella, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, and believe me when I say I had every intention of being there when you woke up in the morning. It wasn't just a one night fling."
The intensity in his eyes almost frightened me. He seemed determined to make me understand and continued after the waitress took our order.
"I wasn't expecting to find you in that coffee shop today, but I can't tell you how relieved I am that I did."
"Are you visiting here or something?" I asked, casually between sips of my water. I was trying desperately not to give myself away. To act like I didn't care.
"I live here," he said. "A few blocks away, actually."
"Then why were we in a hotel?" I asked, confused. For a second, my heart dropped in the pit of my stomach. We were both drunk that night; maybe I was never the one he intended to bring back to that room.
He shifted, seeming uncomfortable.
"My friend is the owner, and it was closer to the bar than my place."
The waitress brought our food out and my mouth watered when she set my plate in front of me. I was suddenly ravenous and took a bite before he did
"Look," he said, slowly. "What I'm trying to say is that I'd very much like to start over, Bella. Can we do that?"
It was those damned eyes again. He looked at me and all once I could see the whole world in his beautiful green orbs. I also forgot how to breathe.
"Bella?" he asked, again. I reminded myself to nod and wiped the corner of my mouth with a napkin. He extended his hand across the table, as if to shake mine.
Our hands met, suspended in the air, and I felt the same shock as I did earlier today. Like I'd been burned, only the heat was thrilling and calming at the same time.
Then, he smiled.
It wasn't just any kind of smile. It was enough to make me forget that I was pregnant and having dinner with the unknowing father. It made me forget that I was absolutely terrified to move forward with my life. It made me feel like I was simply on a date with someone I could genuinely like someday. At that was how the night continued.
We talked, getting to know each other. I learned that he owned a music store and spent a lot of his time giving lessons. We talked about his friend, who'd come into the coffee shop that day with his little girl. His name was Jasper, and he'd been raising her on his own since she was just over one-years old. Her name was Jane.
I told him I was an artist, and we talked about some of my work. Everything about our dinner conversation was perfectly normal, the way a first date should have been.
When Edward had finished paying our bill, the waitress beamed. Apparently he'd given her a good tip. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen," she called out as we were leaving.
Something about his last name struck me as oddly familiar, but I shrugged it off.
"I suppose I should take you home now, right?" he asked, running his hands through his already wild hair. I nodded.
The ride home was exponentially more comfortable. I found myself laughing at his little jokes. When he pulled into Alice's driveway, he sighed after turning off the car.
"Thank you for dinner," I said, reaching for the door handle.
"We're going to do this again, right?" he asked, in a rush.
"Uh….yeah…I think so," I said, dumbfounded.
Then he got out of the car and jogged over to my door, opening it for me and helping me out of my seat.
He held one of my hands and reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Thank you for giving me a chance," he said.
I felt an uncontrollable smile stretch across my face.
"Well…until next time, then," I said, taking a step backwards toward the front door to the house.
"Good night, Bella," he said, letting go of my hand.
"Good night, Edward."
When I walked into the house, Alice was waiting to pounce. She had her hair clipped back and was wearing a fuzzy bathrobe.
"So what happened?"
"He didn't kiss me," I mumbled, disappointed.
"Did you tell him?" she asked.
"Tell him what?" I was confused.
"Really Bella? You didn't? The baby!"
"Shit…" I breathed. "I forgot. I literally forgot. It was such a nice date, and he's so perfect." Now I sounded like I was whining.
"Wow. So I assume you'll be going out again then, right?"
"Sometime, yeah." I sat down heavily on the couch, kicking off my shoes. I went over the details of the night with her, filling her in on as much as I could remember.
"You said his name is Edward Cullen?" she asked, sitting next to me.
"Mmhm." I felt like I was in a dream.
"He's got the same name as your OB. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but either way it's really weird."
Mentally, I cursed Alice for ruining my good mood, but I felt incredibly stupid for not making the connection on my own. I buried my face into a pillow, wanting to scream.
My dream date had just morphed back into a nightmare.
For those of you who reviewed, I thank you a thousand times! And I do agree, Bella is being extremely stupid…but it has to happen! Also, remember that she's pregnant and at times won't act like her normal self. It's the hormones.
Until next time, my lovelies.