92Sooo it only took eight months this time for me to update. Um. Yeah. Sorry about that. See, the reason for this update is because I just finished a very nice vacation of doing absolutely nothing so since I have to go back to hell- ah hem, I mean work. Yes, work. Not hell. Work. Oh, who am I kidding they're basically the same thing! -_-" This chapter was written during my very relaxing vacation and so I'm posting it in memory of those beautiful, glorious, wondrous nine days that I did absolutely nothing. You will be missed my dear sweet freedom. My wondrous break from hell. You will be remembered fondly... T^T
I still don't own Naruto. And still no beta.
So, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And don't forget to say a prayer in memory of my dear friend 'nine day vacation of doing nothing'. He will be missed dearly! T^T
Before his marriage, Naruto had been under the mistaken impression that he knew all that there was to know of Kakashi. He had been entirely sure of himself and this belief. Kakashi was lazy, addicted to Ero-Sennen's porn novels, almost always late, made up ridiculous excuses as to why he was late, and was easy to talk to, yet he kept himself at a distance from other people.
Naruto hadn't realized that much of Kakashi was merely a facade. Yes, Kakashi was actually fond of the Icha Icha series, but originally the habit had developed as a shield. Just as the lateness, and excuses. Admittedly, the latter two came about after the loss of his entire Genin team. The two habits had natually belonged to Uchiha Obito and Kakashi had adopted them as a bit of a coping mechinism over the deaths of everyone he'd ever loved.
The distance Kakashi kept from people was his own fear of getting close to another only to lose them. But over the last year or so Naruto had noticed a marked change in Kakashi's behavior. The distance that Kakashi had always kept between them seemed to disappear and the two had grown closer. Now that the two were married it was like the last barriers that Kakashi had erected around himself had crumbled, and Naruto was faced with someone he'd never expected.
His husband was incredibly kind. Naruto knew that Kakashi wanted a real marriage between them. He knew that the teasing was just to loosen up the tension Naruto was feeling. He knew that Kakashi walking around without his mask on was not only to get him used to his face, but so that the blond would be aware that it was okay to feel attracted to his husband (they were married, of course it was okay). But the fact that Kakashi wasn't pushing him into anything is what gave away just how kind he was. Naruto knew that if Kakashi pushed him for more he probably wouldn't be able to say no.
And that was eye opening.
They'd been married less than week and already Naruto knew that if pushed he wouldn't refuse him. Yes, he was attracted to his husband. He was attracted to Kakashi. And, it wasn't just his face. The kindness and care that Kakashi has shown him in the past few days had broken down every wall he'd build around his heart. He may not yet be able to call it love, but it was certainly leaning in that direction. Things had been happening so fast and yet ... he didn't regret it. Not a single bit of it.
But, honestly, Naruto just didn't know how to express any of this. He'd never been in an actual relationship before. And so much of what he was feeling embarrassed him. He, frankly, didn't know what to do with all these emotions.
Kurama had stopped with the jibes and the laughter at the blond's situation once Naruto had seriously turned to him for advice but ... the fox had made a valid point when he'd pointed out to Naruto that he'd never had any sort of relationship so any advice from him wouldn't be able to come from personal experience. Which seriously left Naruto between a rock and a hard place. It was like a blind man running in the dark while trying to not run head first into any tree's ... or trip over any rocks. It felt impossible for him to do on his own.
And yet ... he really didn't have any choice.
As he waited for Kakashi to return with their dinner he tried to figure out how to tell Kakashi that he was ready to bridge the distance between them. He figured they could start with holding hands, or maybe even a kiss...
His face turned bright red at the thought as he buried his face in his hands with a groan of embarrassment. He could just imagine how that conversation would go!
'Say... Kakashi? I'm sorta ... maybe ... ready for the next step in our marriage?'
'Really? And you sound so sure too!'
Kakashi and his droll sarcasm, they'd surely be the death of him. For all his perverseness, Kakashi was the honorable sort and Naruto knew that unless he was sure of himself, and sounded sure of himself Kakashi wouldn't make a move. Which was the main reason for his frustration. How did you convey your interest in moving forward without embarrassing yourself to the point where you could never look someone in the eye ever again? He just couldn't figure it out!