A:N: I'm not dead.


Anyway, I can't seem to get enough Bubbline lately, and all the good ones seem to be M, so I decided to write my own. Again.

I don't own Adventure Time. Cartoon Network, pony up and make Bubblegum and Marceline official already! Move it to Adult Swim if you're worried about the kids being 'exposed' to this.


"Oh! My! Flippin'! Glob, you guys!" LSP was known for being one of the biggest gossipers in Ooo, second only to Jake.

When her signature catchphrase tumbled forth from her mouth, one could only assume that it was a secret, and its life as a secret was dangling by only a few threads. Marceline knew this all too well.

She sat by the window of Finn and Jake's treasure room, where LSP was ready to share something surely juicy. And whatever she was about to rant about, it surely amused her.

"You'll never believe this!" her annoying voice was slightly distorted through the glass, but Marceline could understand her clearly with the aid of her she-wolf ears. She hadn't yet assumed the form of a werewolf, but her hearing was just as sharp.

The sun had already sat beyond the horizon, and it was way too early for the vampire's tastes, but she had to know what in the lump LSP was spreading. Marceline had been napping in a tree in her bat form when LSP was screaming 'Oh my glob!' at the top of her lungs and running like hell, cell phone in hand.

Marceline had just planned to figure out why in the hell she was woken, but she had that horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that there was something LSP was spreading. And shouldn't be spreading, much less even knowing about it.

The Gossip Queen had already spread it through half of Ooo by the time she had hit Finn and Jake's house, and Marceline was simply curious, as to what was going on, but mostly how she would get back at her for her very early wake-up call.

So she resolved she would learn it in her normal fashion – stalk the Princess of Lumpy Space until she 'accidentally' lost her phone.

LSP removed her cell phone from her lumps and clicked a few buttons. Marceline rolled her eyes. 'Brad' was a more than predictable password.

A blurred image flashed onto the screen, and although Marceline had a perfect view from LSP's backside, she handed the cellular device to Finn and Jake before a decent look was even plausible.

For a moment, there wasn't a word to describe the duo's faces other than 'confusion'. Though that word was soon replaced by 'giggles' on Jake's side and 'mindblown' for Finn.

Big surprise there.

Jake's little giggle-fit was short lived, while Finn's impersonation of a mortified statue remained for many moments, before Jake caught sight of his brother out of the corner of his eye.

"Whoa, man, you okay?" the mellow dog asked.

LSP scoffed and most surely rolled her eyes. "Man, you need to lumpin' get over her already. Flame Princess, is, like, totally better than either of them."

Not that she was jumping to assumptions or anything, but Marceline was almost sure of what was going on. And it had to deal with both her and a certain pink-haired princess. She knew how people would react to the two monarchs getting back together, and this was a predictable reaction.

Most citizens of Ooo knew that the two had once been a couple, but were taking a break because of technical issues with a certain ruler of the Nightosphere.

Marceline had just become the queen only five years ago, and she was still getting used to the responsibilities she suddenly had. No one had expected the two to even last in the first place, much less get back together so quickly.

That didn't mean that the queen wasn't pissed about the little rumors, hell no. After she sorted out the possible side-rumors spread with whatever Lumpy Space Princess had on her phone, Marceline would personally see to it that LSP would be in pain. Very great pain.

"Wr–" Finn's mouth flapped like a fish out of water. And his eyes were doing a pretty damn-well impersonation a fish's as well. Wide, empty, and somewhat horrified. "Wrong, man, that is so wrong!"

Marceline decided that it was time she let herself in and explained herself, but Jake wrapped his arms around Finn multiple times and carried him off, saying "It's time we have another talk, bro."

LSP snickered. Marceline slowly turned into a little shadow and wormed her way underneath the crack between the door and the ground.

She waited patiently as the floating princess dialed another number, greeting Turtle Princess.

"Hey girl. Our plan is just about complete."

"Well, that's good," the nasal, slow voice of Turtle Princess responded, "we can finally show her that we aren't good people to mess around with."

Oh, how threatening. Marceline had to fight herself not to choke on her fear.

"Hmph! You said it, sista'. Bye now!" LSP disconnected the call before Turtle Princess could respond.

Marceline inched forward and swiped the phone from the princess, who nearly jumped out of her purple skin.

"Oh my glob! What the lump! Gimme!" LSP demanded.

"No," Marceline's response was deadpanned.

LSP jumped upward, clawing at the air, as Marceline floated toward the ceiling, reclining in the air. After a few moments, Marceline pulled up the picture and studied it with a dull expression.

Typical. Four nights ago, Bonnibel and Marceline had celebrated their getting-back-together-ness and had went out to dinner. Thankfully, the photo was of them at the expensive restaurant of which Marceline had blackmailed into getting them a special reservation, not of...

...other activities.

The two had just kissed right after dinner. Unfortunately, their table was by a window, and LSP had the idea in her head that she was going to prematurely reveal their relationship to all of Ooo in payback for whatever Marceline had done.

"Why." Marceline wasn't questioning. She was demanding.

"Hmph! You think you can push me around and be the boss all the time? And you and Bubblegum won't even tell your closest girlfriend about that? Nice try, bloodsucker."

"A., it was supposed to stay a secret for a little bit, until we had our little nicks sorted out. B., here." The vampire tossed the phone to the gossiper, who scrambled after it.

"Oh, you're not going to break it over my precious lumps?" she asked, suddenly sounding thankful.

"Nope. You have three minutes to call your parents and friends and say goodbye," the vampire retorted.

The princess's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and she made a mad scramble for the door. The vampire snapped her fingers, and the locks clicked shut. The knob turned futilely under the panicked princess's grasp.

"Two minutes, thirty seconds."


Marceline had successfully taken care of Lumpy Space Princess, who wouldn't be seeing straight anytime soon thanks to her little gab session. That taken care of, the queen began to float up to Finn and Jake's bedroom.

The human sat on the edge of the bed, eyes wide. He was far too sheltered if a little picture had grossed him out.

"So, are you okay with it? Not that I care, but..." she asked, half-lidded yellow eyes fixated on Jake.

"Yeah, it's cool. Just don't level the town this time," he said, no emotion put into his words. It was surprising to know that the dog knew about that one time someone had hit on Bubblegum...

He turned back to Finn and tried reviving him. "You see, and that's why they're together."

Finn shivered uncontrollably. "Jake, I have a question."

Oh, hell, this was going to be interesting.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"If they're both girls, why would they be trying to do that?" his eyes were beginning to dart around the room, focusing on anything but the vampire.

Marceline's eyes, however, focused on rolling. "What? It was just a kiss she showed you."

Jake and Finn both froze. Finn closed his eyes and started to rock himself as Jake turned to face the Vampire Queen. "Uh... she had five pictures, you know... only one of them was 'just kissing'..."

Marceline had to fight the urge to hit something. "One the Tier Scale of one to fifteen, how explicit were they?"

Jake seemed to have to gather his bearings before he responded. Probably saying a last-minute prayer."Umm... probably a seventeen..."

A:N: Fin.

That was fun.

What was Marcy's reaction? My readers get to decide. Feel free to post whatever you think she does.

Anyway, I've been having the ABSOLUTE WORST writer's block ever. I wanna write something, people! Gimme requests! Anyway, summer break has been boring so far, and I need to write, so I'll take just about anything.

Goodbye, my lovelies! I love everyone who reads this, but I appreciate reviewers much more.