Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Sherlock. If I did, it would not be as good as it is.
"How about this," Mary began, tone clipped and businesslike. It was a signal that she was losing her cool. "You can stop interrupting, altering, joining in on, or otherwise sabotaging our dates. In return, I will make sure we never have those dates on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."
Sherlock just shook his head.
"Impossible," he replied, voice also businesslike and rather cool. However, unlike Mary, this was not a signal that he was losing his cool. If he were losing his cool, it would be much, much more obvious. "If I were to get a case during one of your dates, I would be forced to interrupt them."
"Surely that won't happen every single bloody time we have a date, though," Mary protested. As it strangely seems to be doing, was added on mentally.
At the other end of the room, John Watson sighed. Ever since Sherlock had returned from wherever he'd been for the past three years, he'd butted heads with John's girlfriend at every turn. John found it miraculous that she hadn't broken up with him long ago, as most girlfriends of his had in the past.
However, Mary Morstan was a remarkably tenacious woman. She had been accepting of the times John had had to cancel dates when Mycroft had informed him that Sherlock was having one of his danger nights. She had put up with some of Sherlock's deductions about her life and habits, even when he had attempted to use these against her. She was even willing to cancel a date or two here and there when John was pulled off on some investigation or other to help Sherlock on his cases.
However, the fact that she had not had one proper date with John in three months was a totally different matter. John understood, actually. He would enjoy having his time with Mary uninterrupted. Perhaps he cared about Sherlock more than pretty much anyone else on the planet, and was willing to do pretty much anything for him to prove it, but that didn't mean he excused Sherlock's behavior toward this girlfriend of his.
Although, when the two of them argued like this over John, as though he were some sort of precious commodity, he wasn't only annoyed with Sherlock.
"Alright. How about you get Sundays as well," she suggested. "There. I'm giving up most of the weekend. Happy?"
"No," Sherlock replied stubbornly.
"For god's sake, I'm his girlfriend," Mary was becoming even more frustrated as the conversation wore on. Even a tolerant woman as she was bound to lose her cool at some point.
"And he happens to share living space with me," Sherlock bit back.
Actually, I was going to ask her to move in, John thought. Seeing her argue with Sherlock like this, however, made his confidence in this decision waver a bit. He doubted it would be good for either of them, not to mention for him.
"I shouldn't have to be doing this!" she complained, voice rising in time with her clearly increased frustration.
"Neither should I," Sherlock declared coldly.
"Do I get any say in this?" John spoke up at last.
"No," both answered quickly.
John fell silent again as the two continued squabbling like children fighting over the best toy in the box.
Well, at least they agreed on something.
Author's note: Last December, I wrote two oneshots for the Sherlock fandom. However, I never really got around to uploading this one. It is completely unrelated to the other one. And, in my opinion, of slightly lower quality, thus the long wait between it's writing and uploading. Oh, well. Please read both for yourself and decide.
This one is actually inspired in part by the TVtropes article on 'Friend vs. Lover'. Check it out; surely you'll see what I mean :).
Hope you enjoyed the read! Reviews encourage me to write more *hint, hint*