"How do you know that Voldemort said that?" interrupted Albus one more time.

"I read his mind." replied Myrtle, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But ghosts can't read minds." Albus pointed out, before Peeves interrupted again.

"Professor when are you going to tell us why you keep dead fish in your vault?"

Dumbledore face-palmed himself. He himself had never hated anyone in his whole life, except for Voldemort. But now, Peeves was trying his best to correct that apparent issue.

"And I've told you, Peeves, that it is not important."

But really, he couldn't just simply tell them what his plan for those fish involved and certainly he couldn't tell them WHERE he had gotten them from! He would never live it down!

Then again, Cthulhu always was a lousy poker player. And they HAD been an acceptable replacement for cash, at least in his mind.

"COME ON! WE WANT TO KNOW!" yelled out Myrtle before the guards in the office started arguing with Peeves after Peeves blew his nose at them, covering them in slime.

Soon, everyone was shouting, kicking, cursing, punching and spitting at everyone within range. Albus was getting a headache fast. He looked to his precious Lemon Drop container for comfort but to his frustration and dismay, he realized that he was out. This would not do.

He got up and starting going through all the cabinets in the room, no one noticing the Aged Professor sweating bullets and getting redder in the face by the moment as he realized that he had not a single Lemon Drop left.

He started hyperventilating and finally let it all out.


As the words left his mouth, all the glass in the room broke and his voice carried on for many miles. As he shook with rage he saw that everyone was hiding behind his desk, cowering in fear.

He calmed himself down and said, "I apologize for my…slight outburst. Now please, continue."

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT TOAD?!" yelled out Peeves as he and Myrtle chased ones Dolores Umbridge around the Ministry of Magic, banging pots and pans in her ears as she barely managed to stay ahead of them.

"I WILL HAVE ORDER!" she yelled back before Myrtle, seeing an opening, flung a pot at her, knocking her to the ground before they hung her from the highest light they could find before beginning to draw on her with permanent ink.

When they were finished, the Toad looked like a cave of ancient symbols, of various shapes and sizes, including several choice words and phrases that probably were not for mixed company, before they flew back to Hogwarts to continue their reign of terror.

-15 Minutes Later-

As Peeves and Myrtle returned to the Castle, Peeves held his fist up, ordering her to stop. He just had another wicked plan. And he had been waiting for the right moment to try it out.

"Stand back Myrtle." he warned before he began chanting in an ancient language. As he did so, the clouds began to darken, rain began to pour, and hellfire rose from the ground.


As the ancient Poltergeist shouted those words, the Earth below them began to break open and out of the depths crawled the minions Peeves had long ago been given after Pranking the Reaper himself and winning.

"Peeves… What are those?" asked Myrtle as she gazed in awe of the demonic beings with 3 horns, 18 eyes and Walrus Mustaches of Doom.

"Hmm. I've never named them before." replied Peeves, before he sat down ontop of one of them and started thinking. A light blub lit above his head and he had it. Without a moment of hesitation he stood up, acted like a General and pointed at the castle.