okay,it was a really confusing read last chap because it's jasdero's pov,not to mention he was remembering everything,so things get lost considering how many times he got hit in the to mention,LOTS Of angst in this chapter. please enjoy ^_^!

what happened...?my head was pounding,and i was seeing double.i took a second to look around,...WHERE THE FLYING SHIT STAIN AM I?!

I was freaking out.I was still wet,and extremely muddy,but I was in what looked like a canvas tent,under a scratchy 's when I looked done at myself...THE HELL?!My normally grey skin was now a pale,ashy peach,they way it was before I was a noah!i frantically looked around,and found a hand mirror.i looked at my forehead,but strangely enough,my crosses were still there,then i noticed my eyes,they were now a bluish-green,almost turquoise color,they're original color...WHAT THE SHIT CRACK MONKEYS!

dero's scared devi!i reached out to my left side,but grasped 's not here,but i am.I'm all alone...

the thought brings tears to my eyes,as a loneliness more painful than any of the earl's blows settles itself into my tears cascade down my cheeks,and splash upon my up turned ,that voice 's not my inner noah,it comes whenever I'm alone,or when we are yelled at by doesn't seem to know about voice,it scares tells me things,tells me i'm useless,ugly,it berates me upon my own also has me do things...things that,even though no one knows about,because we heal so well,it makes me hurt my self.i cry myself to sleep at times,when i'm not with my brother...

"why are you crying?"

i jump at the voice,having forgotten,that yes,i'm in a unfamiliar place,not at stood a little had tan skin,and light brown was carrying an arm full of multi colored sat herself in front of me,her head tilted to the side, let go of one hand,causing the flowers to fall on my lap,her long twin braids brushing my knee when she bent toward me.i saw now that she had bright blue eyes...just like devi's...before we met the earl...

"please tell me why you are crying."she pleaded wiping my tears with her chubby hands.i cry harder,just because of her eyes.i try to stop them,but they continue,till i'm choking on my wraps her small arms around must i be like this?why must i become so weak without my brother?i hate myself for this!i had to be so stupid as to get swept away!why!?i don't realize that i had begun scratching my wrist,until the girl had grabbed my arm screaming for me to stop.i looked down and saw that the itchy white blanket had a slowly growing red spot,that and the girls own white dress was turning red on the sleeve from where she had grabbed me.

"please,mister!stop!"she screamed upset,tears streaming down her own face.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!"i look up to see a masked figure with long hair down to his man looked to be about 6'5,his beautiful silvery blue hair twisting around him,his strange mask covered his face completely,it only having two large black spots for his long cloak blew around him,showing off a belt with an impressive amount of weapons strap to it.

even though i can not see his face,his aura tells me,underneath that mask,is a terrifying ,i am scared,scared off a mere !a noah feels his blood pounding in his heart,as if it is a rabbit trapped in a hunter's trap!

he turns his face towards us,noticing the blood from my quickly lifted the child,and told her to go get he sat down in front of me cross legged.i try to scoot my body back away from him,to this he lunged,and roughly grabbed my arms,forcing me on my back as he inspected the damage i had done.

when he turned his face toward me,he pulled his hand back,and back-handed me,he did it so hard my head bounce upon the then he leaned in real close,and yelled"fool!why in the hell would you do this?!"this man was reminding me of the earl,filling me with memories of pain,and causing me to begin to cry again,and on instinct,call for my brother.

this caused the man to hesitate,and to lift himself somewhat off of raised his hand once more,but i prepared myself,i was ready to feel the harsh sting of a slap,so with my eyes squeezed shut,i then,i felt a gentle stroke down my hair,trailing down my cheek,wiping my tears.i slowly opened my eyes when i had begun to hear shushing this man...comforting me...?

i was so confused!one moment he was slapping me,now he doesn't want me to cry?!my mouth began to move without me wanting it to,"y-you not want to hurt dero?"i stuttered figure looked taken aback at the notion that he wanted to cause me harm,and shook his was so close now i could see his face,his one eye was a dark emerald,while the other a light bloody red.

i then notice that the man was looking at me too,searching my eyes for something.i don't know why,but his gaze was burning me.i wanted to get away from the heat,yet i still wanted to be near i remembered that slap,and i am afraid again.i feel myself flinch again as he touches my upper lip,where my stitches were before the earl tore them pauses but continues brushing the spots,as i feel my face heat a deep voice gently asks"What happened to you?"

what was i to tell him?i couldn't tell him about the earl,or the for some reason,i want to...then i realized something...THIS MASKED ASSHOLE WAS STILL ON ME!

i began to squirm,having more memories,memories so bad devi doesn't even know about.i began to panic,crying AGAIN!i was thrashing around,screaming,"GET THE FUCK OFF DERO!DERO WANT'S YOU OFF!GET OFF DERO,NOW!"I wailed,finding that my Noah wasn't responding.i was kicking,and flailing,and punching,then he grabbed my arms again,and was holding me back only scared me more,causing me to buck in an attempt to make him fly off.

the whole time,he didn't simply held me down and waited for me to quiet i was too tired to fight anymore,all i can do is whimper,and beg him,"get off dero,you scaring dero!"i felt my tears leaving tracks down my face,in which he simply responded by using the back of his fist to gently wipe them away,just like their i want is my brother,as i continue to whimper for devi.

he still hadn't moved,he just watched me, seemed to come to a conclusion,in which to my thankfulness,he stood then he picked me,along with the blood stained blanket,up and begin to walk out of the tent.i hadn't realized that i was trembling,until he leaned down towards my ear,and whispered,"calm down 'dero',i am only taking you to get medicine."i continue to tremble,but it at least lessens a little no other option,i snuggle into his chest,and hear a strong beating,being this close to someone,for some reason i don't know,comforts me in such a way,i find myself falling asleep to the steady beat within his chest...

sooooo,there ya have it! chappie 3 will be up soon!hope ya enjoyed it!