Speechless

"Are you sure you are okay, Mrs Dubstep? I can call your son if you like?" I ask my elderly neighbour from a couple of doors down.

"Of course, dear. I'm fine! No need to call Edward, I told you; my household appliances are suffering from old age!" Mrs Dubstep replied as she patted my shoulder, referring to the shelf that collapsed under the pressure of the wooden support getting old and the books it was supporting.

"As long as you are absolutely certain?" I double check with her. It was a mighty crash after all! I was watching television in my pyjamas when I heard it and immediately rushed out to see what had caused such a noise.

"Yes, yes. Go back to bed Kensi! I'm sure you have work in the morning! Don't let me keep you up!" She replied kindly. It was people like her that reminded me what a nice place the world can be. When it wants to be.

"Okay." I reply, smiling, finally giving in to her plea,

"But if you need anything at all, and I mean anything, you just knock, okay? I'm a light sleeper. Hazards of the job I guess." I shrug at her with a smile. She's the only one outside of immediate family and work that know my real identity and job.

"Of course, dear. Sleep well!" She replies smiling, as I turn and walk out of her apartment and towards mine.

I get half way down the hallway, when I suddenly feel dizzy and lightheaded. I stop and place a flat palm on the wall beside me for support. I have been getting these symptoms quite frequently of late. But no one knows. And I intend to keep it that way.

Normally after a couple of moments of standing still, it passes and everything is fine again. But not tonight. Tonight everything just gets worse, and before I know it I'm falling towards the ground with the darkness closing in fast.

Just before it swallows me up completely, I hear Mrs Dubstep frantically calling my name, and then there is just darkness.


"Kensi? Kensi, can hear me? I need you to open your eyes." I hear an unknown male voice beckoning me. Where am I? I wonder as I attempt to pry open my heavy eyelids.

I succeed.

But I am rewarded with the bright light of the room burning the iris of my eyes so I immediately close them again.

After a couple of moments, I attempt again and this time the light in the room has been dimmed so it is not as harsh. Instead, I am greeted with, like, five pairs of eyes peering back at me.

I moan, my head and eyes feeling heavy, and sleep is calling my name lovingly, but I somehow know that is not an option at this point in time.

"Do you know where you are?" The male voice asks again.

"No." I croak out, surprised at how sore and dry my throat is.

"You are in the hospital, anyone we can contact? You don't have an emergency contact."

Huh? Hospital? Must have been really bad this time...

"Uh, I don't know..." Which is the truth; I can't think straight at the moment, I don't even know if I could tell you my name.

"That's okay, if you remember someone let us know and we will make a call." He replies with a kind smile. The kind that relaxes you when you have no clue at what the hell is going on.

"Okay." I croak out again as I look at my surroundings.

I am on a hospital bed, in my pyjamas (thank goodness), in a small curtained off cubicle. I must be in the emergency wing where patients are kept before it is said whether they are admitted or home free.

"My name's Dr. Thomas and I am the head ER doctor on tonight. We have done some tests and just waiting for results. When they come in, we can discuss the next step. Until then we will just keep you here, okay?" He asks and flashes another smile.

I nod.

"I'm going to get a nurse to start an IV line as well, just as a precaution until we know what we are dealing with. I'll be back in a bit with the results." And that's that. He walks out and onto his next patient as the nurse comes in to start the IV line.

"Is this necessary?" I question, with my still croaky voice.

"Yep." She replies as she puts on her gloves and gently grabs my closet hand to her which happens to be my right hand.

"When you're connected I get you some water and jelly for that throat of yours. We are quite busy tonight so results might be slower than normal. Okay, done." She concludes. I look down, and lo and behold I'm connected. Geez, this nurse is efficient!

"Here you go." She says, as she walks back into the cubicle with some ice chips, a cup, jug of water, and a jelly and spoon. I must be so out of it, I didn't even notice her leave the room.

"Just press the call button if you need anything, okay? Even for more jelly, our supply is endless!" She jokes.

"Thanks." I smile at her.

And just like that she is gone again. Must really be busy tonight.

Looking at my hands I see the drip in my right and the hospital bracelet on my left. Pacific Beach Medical Hospital, it reads. At least I know which hospital I'm in; I just wish I knew what I was in for.

Okay, I sort of do, but a little blackout doesn't call for this? Does it? Unless... It wasn't just a little blackout. I wish someone would tell me what was going on.


It has been half an hour since I woke up and I'm bored, and restless, and nervous. The doctor hasn't come back in yet, not that I expected him to, as everyone has mentioned - it's busy tonight.

I gave up on the idea of going back to sleep a long time ago and now I'm sitting on the bed, my back against the pillows that I propped up behind my back after I lifted the head of the bed up to a higher degree. I am sitting cross-legged. I don't know what it is about that sitting position but it gives me comfort and safety. It's weird.

I need someone here. It's selfish, and needy. I don't do selfish and needy. But fear, geez, fear. That is one emotion that messes with everything and anything. It is the thing that picks up my mobile that was down my bra when I passed out but now on the bed side table and texts Callen, the only one I can text in these situations. He is the only one who gets me, truly gets me, and he's the only one I trust - especially when I don't know what is going on.

Are you awake?

Am now, what's up?

I'm at the hospital.

What? Are you okay? Scratch that - I'm coming. What hospital?

I suddenly feel guilty, maybe I shouldn't have texted him. I knew that's how he would have reacted! It's now twelve o'clock, this is so selfish! He has work tomorrow too! I'm only in hospital, not on my death bed! Gah.

Forget it - I shouldn't have texted you.

Which hospital? Or I'm getting Eric to ping your phone!

Pacific Beach.

I'll be there in 10.


"What happened?" He asks the second he walks into the curtained off cubicle. I don't even ask how he got into this section of the hospital, I just pity the poor doctors and nurses that got in his way.

I sit up straighter, and lean more against the pillows that are propped up behind me and keep my legs crossed as I fiddle, once again, with the IV line stuck in my hand that I deemed completely unnecessary, but apparently mandatory.

"Kens..." Callen says again, as he sits on the edge of the bed and grabs my hand so it stops fiddling. I can hear the strain in his voice - he's worried and wants to know what happened. I can't blame him - I would be like that too if the roles were reversed, but they're not. I'm still sitting here in emergency in my pyjama shorts and racer back tank top and he is still sitting on the edge of the bed in his normal dark denim jeans and thin skivvy, with the sleeves rolled up to the bottom of his elbows.

"Umm..." I start. It's something, at least. I just don't know how to tell him, this is so embarrassing!

"I don't know..." Finally. It's out there, in the open. I look up to peek up at his face. Yep. Just what I thought. He doesn't realise I've dropped the bomb yet.

"What do you mean 'I don't know'?" Callen questions, confusion printed so clearly on his face that it may as well have been tattooed on his forehead!

"One minute I'm walking back to my apartment after talking to my neighbour, the next minute I'm in hospital with, like, fifty doctors and nurses around me. They wouldn't tell me anything, and here you are." I conclude, as I sneak another look at G. I'm relived (somewhat) to find him looking worried and not disappointed. I can't stand disappointment.

"So this is 'random' for lack of better word?" Callen asks. I immediately look down.

"Uhh… not necessarily. I, uh, may have felt lightheaded and dizzy for a while now." I told him, keeping my head down.

"What did the doctors say?" Callen asks me, I can tell he ignoring that new bit of information.

"They are running some tests and he'll be back with the results but they are busy tonight so it's going to take longer than normal." I reply, looking straight at him.

"Okay." He says as he squeezes my hand and gets comfortable on the bed.

This was such a bad idea, I can't believe I texted him! It was so selfish of me! But I want his presence here... It's calming but I got him out of bed at some ridiculous time at night/early morning.

"You should go, I shouldn't have texted you." I blurt out before I can stop myself. I can't put my needs before his, that's selfish... And needy.

"Kens." He replies, in his 'no nonsense' tone, "I'm staying until you get your results and I know you are going to be okay. I don't care if I get no sleep, or if I am late to work, or even if I don't go to work full stop. I am not leaving you for anything!"

I just looked at him with a smile, what an amazing guy.


Another hour passes, and Callen hasn't moved a bit. He is still holding my hand (which I do not mind), and sitting on the side of the bed.

"You feeling okay?" He asks for must have been the fiftieth time.

"Once again, I am fine G! Everyone is over reacting and it is driving me insane!" I complain to him.

"How long have you had these symptoms for?" He asks me, avoiding my complaint. I knew he wouldn't like the response to his question, considering he ignored it in our previous conversation.

"Around a month, I think... I'm not sure..." I answer honestly, hoping his rathe won't be too unbearable.

"Kens! Why didn't you say anything?" Callen asked me. I could tell how shocked and annoyed he was that I had kept it hidden for so long.

"Because I thought it was nothing and would eventually go away…" I trailed off, unsure what to say next or how he will react.

"Kens, you should have said something! Or gone to the doctors, or something!" Callen told me in a strained calm voice. I knew he wasn't mad at me (much) and it was more worry than anything else but it still hurt. Even though I knew he was right.

"I know it was stupid. I'm sorry." I told him with as much sincere I could muster – it was one o'clock in the morning after all!

I could tell G was a little shocked by my apology but I could also tell he appreciated it as well, and that was all I cared about.


Around 2:30 in the morning, Doctor Thomas finally came back with results. I hadn't moved since Callen had arrived - neither had he - despite his desperate pleas to get some sleep I knew my brain wouldn't slow down for such a trivial thing.

"Kensi." Thomas greeted with a smile as he walked into the room, "We've got some tests results back."

"Well?" Callen prodded. He was always the impatient one!

Thomas smiled at Callen's impatient ways, "You have hypotension, also known as low blood pressure."

"… How bad is this?" I asked a little worried at what that diagnoses could mean.

"We just have to do a couple of tests that we weren't able to do whilst you were unconscious to make sure there aren't any other complications but from what I can tell, it is nothing too serious. We will put you on some medication to help raise your blood pressure and with some lifestyle and dietary changes, your chances of getting low blood pressure again decreases significantly." Doctor Thomas explained to Callen and me.

"How long was I out for?" I asked him curiously.

"Quite a while, but it was to be expected. Your body was highly fatigued." Thomas explained with a smile as he put down the clipboard he was carrying on the end of my bed and walked around to the other side of the bed where Callen wasn't sitting.

"I'm going to check your blood pressure again and see if it has increased or decreased since you arrived here. I will then schedule an eco for you, just to make sure there have been no repercussions on your heart."

After a couple of minutes, Thomas had checked my blood pressure and written down the results on the chart before looking at me.

"So?" I asked him slightly nervous for some weird reason.

"You're blood pressure has stayed the same, which is where we expected it to be. I'll page a nurse now to book you in for the eco and then I need to ask you a couple of questions."

"Okay." I agreed.

"Alright, done." He replied a couple of minutes later, "Now, how long have you noticed that something was wrong? Like dizziness or light-headedness."

"Around a month."

"What symptoms have there been and how often?"

"Feeling light headed and really dizzy. Generally after sitting or lying down but sometimes it comes randomly too. I can never predict it."

"So a couple times a day, sometimes more?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, thanks Kensi. A nurse will come and get you for your eco shortly and then once those results are back we can discuss the next step." Thomas ended, smiling at me, in a reassuring way.

"Thank-you." I told him as he turned away and walked out of the cubicle to, what I predict, is his next patient.


Twenty minutes later a nurse came to get me for my eco where Callen waited in the little cubicle. I half-expected him to not be there when I got back, I mean after all it was 3 o'clock in the morning! I was amazed he hadn't agreed with me when I told to go home the millions of times I had.

To my surprise, when I returned half an hour later, G. Callen, Special Agent G. Callen, was sitting on the plastic chair that he had moved to when they took the bed with me on it. Wow.

"Hey, how did it go?" Callen asked me, smiling. I think he saw my smile and tinge of relief when I saw he was still with me. Damn. Why am I so needy and selfish this morning/night/whatever time of the day it is!

"The gel was cold." I complained, as I started to sit up once the bed was back in position.

Callen laughed at my response but was cut short of responding himself when the nurse spoke first.

"Kensi, we talked about this. Doctor Thomas specifically said you need to stay lying down to see if we can increase your blood pressure. I don't want to see you sitting up until Doctor Thomas has said it is okay and he has confirmed it with me himself in person!" Nurse Joy, as she said he name was, said. I thought the name was ironic – she certainly didn't bring joy into my life.

"Fine." I said, sighing as I lied back down, feeling defeated. I hate this, I really do.

"It'll be over before you know it." Joy replied, patting my leg before leaving the room.

"Kens. Don't you dare." Callen told me as soon as Joy left the room. Damn. I knew he would read my thoughts. He knows me too well.

"You're mean, you know that, right?" I told him, with a hint of teasing as he stood up from the plastic chair and sat on the edge of my bed again. I'm pretty sure so he can prevent me from sitting up. Damn him.

"You love me!"

"Nope."

"Not even a little bit?" Callen asked me with a little puppy dog face that I swear I have never seen him do.

"Not even a little bit." I told him, smirking.

"Now you're the mean one."

"Aww, poor baby got his feelings hurt." I told him, with a fake sad voice as I patted his arm. Why the hell did I do that?!

"Yeah, because you don't love me."

"I love you, G." I told him. And the everything went quiet, as he stared into my eyes and me into his. And it felt like we were the only two people in the room… probably because we were, but you know what I mean!

… And just as G was about to respond (well, that's what it looked like!) Doctor Thomas walked into the cubicle. Damn.

"I just got your eco results back and everything is looking good with your heart. It is still unclear what exactly caused your low blood pressure, do you have a family history of this?" Thomas asked.

"I'm not sure; I don't know my family history." I answered incredibly unsure.

"That's okay. Family history or diet and lifestyle are the most probable causes of low blood pressure in your case." Thomas responded whilst making notes in a folder.

"So what now?" Callen asked. I told you he was impatient!

"I'm going to prescribe you Midodrine. It's a medication that should help raise your blood pressure. I'll keep you in for a little while after starting you on it to make sure there are no adverse reactions to the drug. I'll also give you a referral to give to your GP as he or she will be the one to monitor you blood pressure once you are released." Thomas explained as he pulled out the cuff and machine to check my pressure again.

"It has increased slightly, which is a good sign. Continuous lying down has been helpful – of course in saying that it is not practical either. Until your blood pressure is at a constantly normal level, get up slower and take your time changing body angles. Especially after long periods of time. I'll get the nurse to administer the first dosage of your medication as I have to make my rounds. Good morning." Thomas smiled as he walked out of the cubicle.


By one o'clock that afternoon I was finally released. At 9:30 that morning both Callen and I had received worried calls from our partners asking where the heck we were as we had forgotten to call them in the midst of all the hospital drama. Of course, reassuring them that Callen was fine and I was in hospital because I had passed out the night before did not help their worry at all.

"Where are we going?" I asked Callen when he missed the exit off the freeway for my house.

"OSP. The guys want to see you – they are worried sick about you." Callen responded, smiling at the "family's" protectiveness as he grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Callen! I'm in my pyjamas! I can't go to work in my PJ's!" I exclaimed horrified at the idea of going to work in my sleepwear for all my co-workers to see! Don't ask why I'm completely fine for G to see me in my sleepwear however! I'm not even going to go there!

"So? You always have a spare change of clothes in my car, just change into them?" Callen stated reasonably whilst trying not to laugh – I could tell he was laughing at my horror of PJ-ing it to work.

"I forgot about that…" I told him sheepishly, the lost hours of sleep finally catching up to me as he pulled into a local servo so I could get changed.

After a couple of minutes – changed out of my PJ's and into denim shorts, a white t-shirt, and thongs – Callen pulled back out into traffic and headed to OSP's.


"She's alive!" I heard Sam exclaim as Callen and I walked into the bull pen holding hands. Callen had slipped his hand over my hand as soon as he locked his car and I wasn't complaining and that's where our hands stayed!

"Nah! This is my spirit and I'm coming back to haunt you." I told Sam seriously.

"Silly girl." He replied laughing before he closed the gap between us and gave me a brotherly hug forcing me to break contact with Callen,

"Glad you're alright." He told me.

"Me too." I replied as I smiled up at him.

"Oh wow. She's alive." Deeks exclaimed when he walked into the bull pen a couple of seconds later and noticed Callen and I standing there.

"Where did you get the impression I was dead?" I asked both men confused.

"Nowhere. But you don't like hospitals and you once stated that the only way you were getting to a hospital was if you were dead." Sam replied with a wink. I had forgotten about that exclamation.

I had used the exclamation to try to get out of going to get checked up after getting into a fight with a now dead fugitive and got banged up. The boys, over protective and worrisome, wanted me to get checked out in fear I had a concussion or something so I told them that thinking it would work (it was early on in our new team). Of course, it didn't and I was forced there anyway – and have been back many times since much to my displeasure!

"Not that that has stopped you two from forcing me there!" I told Sam, referring to him and G.

"And since when do we listen to you when talking about your wellbeing?" Callen asked semi-seriously.

"You guys are mean!" I replied, poking my tongue out at them.

"You love us!" Sam said with mock hurt.

"Nope." I told him with a shake of my head.

"Ouch! But we all know she loves me!" Deeks said with a wink and a smirk.

"Ouch!" Deeks complained as I punched him in the shoulder, "Really?"

"Really." I told him smiling.

"So what did the doctor say?" Sam asked, I forgot Callen and I were vague with him and Deeks when they rang us this morning… oops?

"Low blood pressure, he thinks it due to a mix of lifestyle and family history. He's putting me on medication to help and my levels have to be monitored frequently by the GP." I told the boys.

"So you're going to be okay?" Sam asked, the worry etched on his face.

"Yes, Sam, I'm going to be perfectly fine." I told him smiling as I gave him a side hug to reassure him.

"I'm glad." He told me as he returned the hug.

"Okay, got to get the munchkin home and rested up." Callen intervened as he slung his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey!" I exclaimed at the nickname he used.

"C'mon, you have to rest up – you heard the doctor!" Callen said as he started to pull me away from the bull pen.

"Bye guys." I said sadly knowing that for the next week I had a date with my bed and sleep; who knew those two things could be so bad!


"I thought you said that I had to get home and rest?" I asked Callen accusingly even though I didn't mind – it bet sleeping!

"A little pit stop doesn't hurt." He told me with a grin as he grabbed my hand again as we made our way down to the beach.

Once he found a spot that was secluded from other beach goers and we sat down and he started playing with my hand.

"What's going through your mind, G?" I asked him. I knew there was something that was playing on his mind, it was pretty obvious!

"You – you know when you were in hospital… and um, I made you stay lying down… and…" G started saying before I interrupted him.

"Just spit it out!" I told him with a smile.

"I love you, Kensi."

I could see him looking at me for his response but all I could do was smile at him and his outburst.

"I know that was random and sudden but for ages I just couldn't get you out of mind. You are so amazing, and -"Callen blabbered before I cut him off with my lips.

"Sorry, you were rambling." I told him when we broke apart.

"I never said I minded!" He told me with a grin before our lips met again in sweet, sweet bliss.

Life was good. Very good indeed!


A/N: The name of this one-shot is to do with where I got the inspiration for this story from, rather than the actual story.

The first four lines of the texting conversation are similar to a texting conversation in a book I recently read, and the story was created from that! The book is called Speechless by Hannah Harrington. Seriously read it, I read it in less than a day! It is such a good book!

Okay, that ending? Seriously, never going to happen in real life! Who am I kidding! (Not that I have experience in that area of life!) But I can dream!

*note: tired me = bogan me. Don't judge if it is heaps bogan in any of these one-shots.*

I was meant to get this up yesterday (Saturday, my time) but my internet had a hissy-fit, followed by my laptop, but both have sorted themselves out and I'm good to go! I gave this a week between updates, purely because I had exams all week (now completed my first two terms [semester] of year 11! Only 5 more terms and never have to go to high school again! Yew!) And I thought I would get more reviews than 3, but eh, what can ya do? You three reviewers are amazing! How much time between updates would you guys like? You have a voice, use it! These chapters are just chillin' on my laptop, ready for you awesome guys to read so let me know! :)

Also, massive thankyou to everyone who story alerted, favourite-d, author alerted, or favourite-d! You guys are awesome! :D

Thankyou soooo much to you amazing reviewers: Kate (Me too, Kensi and her boys, wow. I love it a bit too much I think! ;)), Guest (defiantly! I personally find it more realistic too, but I'm pretty sure I'd be part of the minority on that one! :/), and Barbra4317; you guys are the best! Mwah!

~ TAG xo

Next ball of paper to enter the bin:

Their Little Trouble Maker: Trouble never seems too far astray from Kensi, luckily, Sam and Callen are there to save the day… once again.