Dimitri leaves after the events of shadow kissed. Rose saved Dimitri from the strigoi, hurting herself in the process, left in a coma for days, Dimitri makes the decision to leave her for Tasha Ozera. Saying Love fades, mine has. This leaves Rose broken and depressed. A surprise lurks round the corner and what happens when Tasha comes to the academy crying for help because Dimitri is missing?

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ CHAPTER 1 ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~


Why won't she wake up? It's been eight days and she- my Roza- has not twitched, blinked or sighed. Eight days since our amazing night in the cabin. Eight days since she barrelled down the cave to save me.

(Flash back)

The blonde strigoi was looming over me, I felt as he reached for my neck. I closed my eyes and waited for him to bite; but then I heard the soft thumping noise of someone running towards me. I opened my eyes and saw her running towards me.

"Get away from him!" she yelled. The strigoi was next to her in an instant and had her in his grips, ready to break her neck; before I could react he was drinking from her. I just stared.

"I love you Dimitri" she whispered as her eyes closed. I heard more thumping and was bought out of my trance and attacked the strigoi, staking him in the heart, he dropped her as he fell with a thud to the ground. I reached to grab her.

"I love you to Roza" I whispered, kissing her on her forehead, just as her mother, Alberta and Stan came running round the corner, they all had gasped...

(End Flashback)

So I have been sitting the infirmary, staring at the white walls for eight days, waiting for my love to wake up. The Doctor doesn't know why and the princess has tried to heal her, but she still didn't respond. Her mother has been trying to kill me this entire time. Every time she visits her daughter she stares at me venomously, but I just ignore her. I don't know why they allow me in the room but they do.

"Roz-Rose, please wake up, please. I can't explain without you my love, please." I plead for the hundredth time, but again she does not respond.


"I love you to Roza" I hear Dimitri whisper, as I feel my body lose consciousness. I try to move, I try to wake, but nothing. All I see is memories? Nightmare? The truth?

I never saved him! My mind screeches as I see his red eyes fill my mind. One minute I am at the academy, the next I am in Russia, talking to his family, I don't know how I know it's his family, but they look like him, so it must be them! They are crying as I tell them something. Next thing I know I am following one of them to a club or somewhere, and then we are yelling at each other. I am then taken by someone- no something, and then I am looking in to his crimson red eyes as he uses me. Next thing I know I am standing on a bridge stabbing him as he falls into the water below. Subsequently I am back at the academy, reading a letter, signed love D.

Wait What? I killed him didn't I?

Then I – we, Lissa is helping- as we break some man out of Tarasov. Lissa is holding a stake, her eyes are closed and I watch as she pours her spirit into it. My mind blacks.

"Roz-Rose, please wake up, please. I can't explain without you my love, please." Dimitri's words scatter through my mind, explain, explain what? He's dead, he's a strigoi! Who is playing this trick on me? My mind closes off the sound as this nightmare movie continues...

Lissa is standing over him, holding a stake and stabs down into his heart, killing him? I watch as his eyes turn back to their melt worthy chocolate.

I wake up screaming.


I wake up to someone screaming. It's Rose. I jump up and go to her. Her eyes are wide with terror and she is thrashing about.

"Rose?" I ask quietly, she looks at me, turning her head to the side, and then screams louder.

"Guardian Belikov, please can you give us a moment?" the nurse asks quietly. I nod glumly, what did I do, for her to scream like that at me? I walk out to the hallway, and slide down the wall, I put my head in my hands and cry. Everything from the last few days comes crashing back down around me.

"Guardian Bel- Dimitri, what happened?" Guardian Petrov asks me quietly minutes later.

"She woke up screaming; she looked at me like I was a monster and screamed louder. I don't understand, we love each other, what did I do?" I ask as I begin to shake. She doesn't reply straight away.

"I'm sorry, I don't-" before Alberta is able to finish her sentence, the nurse, who asked me to leave, comes out of the room; I look up at her in desperation.

"She is asking for you." She says simply. I nod and stand up, wiping my eyes. I open the door and see that she has calmed down. I stand at the door hesitant to go inside.


Dimitri walks in and the first things I look at are his amazing brown eyes, deep chocolate brown. I know it's him but my mind can't erase seeing him with the blood red eyes of the un dead. I feel as the tears trickle down my cheek.

He slowly and cautiously walks over to me and reaches for my hand, at his touch I flinch. He looks at me pained, and goes to remove his hand. But I hold it tighter pleadingly as I feel the warmth of his hand coarse through me.

"Roza, what's the matter?" he asked softly. I shudder as the images of him drinking my blood and him being a strigoi.

"You, you were a strigoi." I say quietly, he turns his head on its side questioningly.

"Rose, I am right here, I am not a strigoi, you saved me" he says, I flinch and begin to sob harder.

"no, you were a strigoi, you drank my blood, you wanted to kill me, but you didn't then I staked you, but you didn't die, then Lissa staked you!" I sob harder and louder. "you had bright crimson eyes Dimitri, you were a strigoi and you used me!" he flinches at my words and his eyes are bigger then ever in pain. "You wanted to kill me Dimitri, so I had to kill you." I cry harder. "So now I don't understand why or how you are here now!" I cry, I can feel it in my heart that what I say isn't the truth, but my mind says otherwise, I watch in horror as my love, is overcome by pain and water wells in his eyes and free falls down his face.

"Roza, I don't know what you are talking about. You have been unconscious for eight and a half days. You rescued me from a strigoi; there was a fight at the school and you came and saved me. We were at the cabin, and the wards were broken so you went to warn others while I fought." I know what he says is the truth but, I can't believe it. "You then saved me from the strigoi, but he attacked you." He says quietly.

~~*~~~*~~3 Days Later~~*~~~*~~


I was let out of the infirmary a day later. Dimitri and I spent ages talking and I realised he was right, the images I had seen were a nightmare, they never happened. But every time we touched I flinched, every time we were close I shuddered, I was scared of the love of my life.

I got dressed for training; I dressed in my black sports bra and black workout three-quarters. I brushed my hair and put it in a pony tail. I grabbed my iPod and put in my headphones as I left my dorm. I turned up the music and Avril Lavigne's 'Here's to Never growing up' burst through the headphones.

"Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs (Ooooooh)

With the boom box blaring as we're falling in love

I got a bottle of whatever but it's getting us drunk (wow)

Singing here's to never growing up (here's to never growing up)

We'll be running down the street yelling "kiss my ass" (kiss my ass!)

I'm like "yeah whatever", we're still living like that (just like that)

When the sun's going down we'll be raising our cups

Singing here's to never growing up

Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up

Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (Oh, raise your glass and say)

Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (Ladidadida)

Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (And no, we're never growing up)

Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up"

I sung the end, excited for training. I reached the gym, it was dark, no Dimitri- but that was because we weren't supposed to be training yet. I just couldn't stay in bed any longer. I stretched and warmed up. Leaving my headphones in, I went outside and hit the track.

"I need your love, I need your time, when everything's wrong, you make it right, I feel so high, I come alive, I need to be free with you tonight, I need your love!"

"And I feel so helpless here. Watch my eyes are filled with fear. Tell me, do you feel the same? Hold me in your arms again." I scream, I feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks. I know in my heart Dimitri isn't a strigoi, but the fear that he could be, is what drove the nightmare? I think about this as my iPod continues to play songs, Every time we Touch By Cascada, Hold it against me by Brittany spears, all songs about love. I finish my fifteenth lap and go inside, prepared to go to him and apologise for my irrational and crazy behaviour the last two days. But as I walk in the gym, I find him sitting there reading one of his westerns.

"Dimitriimsosorry" I say really fast, he looks at me confused, and I repeat but slower. "Dimitri I'm so sorry about the last two days. My fear for you- " he cuts me off.

"Rose I'm sorry, I'm leaving this afternoon. I can't stand here and watch you destroy yourself over me!" my eyes widen at his words.

"Your. Leaving. Me" I say hyperventilating. "Why?" I ask the tears free running down my cheeks.

"Rose, you dreamed about me being and strigoi and having to kill me, you can't be worrying about me, when you have the princess to look after." He says rationally. I go to hit him.

"Don't you love me?" I stutter.

"Of course I love – no, Rose I did love you, I can't love you, I won't love you, I don't love you." He says completely serious. I close my eyes at his revelation.

"You used me. You used my like a cheap blood whore! You told me you loved me!" I scream through the sobs. I suddenly am overcome with emotion and collapse to the floor exhausted.

"Yes I LOVED you, loved as in the past. Don't you get it Rose, Love fades, mine has!" he yells.

"You're lying!" I scream. "You said you would never hurt me, you're a liar! I hate you Dimitri, I never want to see you again, and I thought I saved you, but I was just kidding myself I was trying to save something that wasn't even there." I say as I pick myself off the floor and run out of the gym towards Lissa's room. I bang on the door and she opens it, as I stand there soaking wet all over from the sweat and tears.

"Liss, we need to talk." I say quietly. I go on to tell her everything; from the first day we meet in Portland to our numerous near misses in training, to the night in the cabin where I gave him my virginity.

"You and guardian- Dimitri- had sex!?" she yelled/ asked.

"Yes, can you keep your voice down, please?" I ask.

"Wow" she says. "Now he's leaving?" she asks. I nod and tell her about what I saw while I was unconscious. "Oh my gawd!" she screams, I smack my hand against her mouth.

"Now he says he doesn't love me, and so he's leaving, the thing is though. I realised why, I couldn't stand it if he did become a strigoi, the fear that I was unable to save him from becoming the undead was the scariest thing in my life and so I was trapped to endure, watching as the love of my life drank my blood and then watching as I had to kill him twice!" I cried. After that she just held me as I cried through the day into the night and through the following day.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ END OF CHAPTER 1 ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

I hope you liked the first chapter of Jar of Hearts, this is not a sing fic, but I will reference songs for a particular reason, I feel if you listen to these songs at the time of reading it will make things clearer Please Review, Favourite and Follow. I don't want to be an annoying author/ writer, but you guys must know how frustrating it is to write and put something up and then not get any feedback. Sp please let me know what you think, try not to be mean if you think its horrible. Anyway chapter 2 should be up within a few hours have a good day or night depending on where you are in the world. I am from New Zealand so it is 9:30 at night, but people on the otherside of the world are in the morning... anyway please review, favourite and follow xx