53This is dedicated to the Romano to my spain and my larping buddy, Sara. Without her, my stories most likely wouldn't be possible. Thank you Sara ^^
A quiet shuffle signaled that the door was opening causing the bottom of the oversized slab of wood molded with age to groan painfully against the dirtied stone floor, providing the moon allowance to penetrate the barn with her sheer curtain of silvery light. A man in the back of the large enclosure rose from his bed of hay due to the sound, peering at the silhouette entering through the doorway. The figure walked gracefully across the floor, prompting the noises and protests of animals trying to get their night's rest in, though those noises were quickly subdued as the moon-shrouded form knelt before the barn boy, a soft whimper of defeat and fear leaving his mouth. Immediately, the smaller of the figures leaned forward to place slim fingers and a callused palm against his cheek, vainly attempting to calm the terrified pants emitting from the other's lips. The larger individual clasped his own hand above the other's, tilting his head into the warmth and ease it provided from the softest of touches.
After a moment of wordless communication, the larger mumbled out in a voice so serious it would freeze Hell over, "I'm going to die tonight." Through the realization, there was a deep underlying tone of trepidation that would break anybody's heart to hear, especially coming from the man who said it.
The younger said nothing, trying to deal with the sudden shock of the statement without causing alarm, though his hand tensed slightly against the elder's cheek. "Are you certain?"
He nodded, shoulders slumping as if some unseen weight had finally dealt its damage, briskly applying chapped lips to wrist of the palm upon his cheek. "Sí. He's going to find me, and then he'll find you. You need to run, now, and get out of here while you can…" his eyes glowed with his plea, barely visible in the darkness of the barn. The younger could only stare up at him, willing his body to do something, anything.
"I can't leave you…" he was finally able to whimper out, teeth clenching into his lip as he lowered his head, now heavy with unreleased tears. A splash of copper taste penetrated his mouth and he vaguely realized that he bit a little too hard, "I just can't."
The elder immediately slid back onto his haunches and sat upon the ground, pulling the other with him. He wrapped his arms around the younger tightly, and in return, he could feel hands sliding to wrap around him as well. They sat like that for a while; breathing in each other's scents for what they knew could very well be the last time. Pulling back slightly, the larger man caught the other's chin and tilted it up, meeting him in a heart wrenching kiss. They both kissed sweetly, pouring in their emotions for one another in the small, tingling contact that tasted of valediction and farewell. They both separated for air, and the smaller fisted his hands on his partner's back. "I will find you again someday." His breath washed over the elder's face, smelling of resolution, "And nobody will stop me. I promise."
Overtaken with emotion, the larger man re-enveloped him a hug, "Go. Take a horse, take anything you need. I'll distract him." His hand came up to brush coppery hair out of his lover's face, "I'll be waiting beside God for you."
And for the moment, both could take faith in that.
As he stood up to leave, the elder pressed a cold, firm item into his lover's hand, previously extracted from his boot. The younger immediately knew what it was and he hissed into the darkness, "You'll need this, idiot!"
Chuckling morosely, he kissed his head, "You take it. I won't need it for much longer."
And with that, the other was gone, slipping into the night like a puff of frigid air into the wind.
…
"…I bought this house for surprisingly really cheap! Well, considering what it could have cost."
What was that annoying sound constantly invading his thoughts? Oh, right. His grandfather was talking. Sighing soundlessly, Lovino Vargas refocused his attention on the ever-changing landscape outside of the car window. The steady onslaught of blurred motion made his stomach queasy, but he forced that down. He didn't have to listen to his body. He could do whatever the hell he wanted. Besides that, it was so much easier to center his awareness on the world constantly changing before him than it was to listen to his grandfather drone on about the new house he had bought.
A new house, he had said.
A fresh start, he had said.
He may as well have said this was his way of running from his disappointment of a grandson.
"I really like the area you chose, Grandpa!" His brother, the ever-happy Feliciano, chirped with enthusiasm.
His grandfather beamed happily, obviously proud with both the compliment and his decision to move to this location. Lovino could just picture him flash the classic Vargas grin at Feliciano, excitement dripping from his pores like hormones from some teenager.
Hell, he shouldn't be talking. He himself was a teenager.
"I think you'll love it here, Lovino," the elderly man directed his attention to his oldest grandchild through the aid of the rearview mirror, watching as the auburn haired boy jumped from being addressed. "You can start anew, nothing holding you back."
Lovino regarded the eyes staring at him in the mirror, and then shifted his gaze to some blemish in the leather seat in front of him. "We'll see." He stated simply.
Feliciano, occupying the front seat, twisted his torso to look at his older brother, granting him one of his sweet smiles, "I'm so glad you're home, fratello." He stated genuinely, though the sentence was nothing new. He had been saying it almost every time the chance crept into view, grasping onto it with sticky fingers to make Lovino aware of how much he had missed him.
"I've been home for two weeks now, idiot." Lovino replied, regarding the small forest outside his window with apparent boredom. Really. His brother could be so repetitive…
"No, really though. I missed you so-," He cut off as the watch upon Lovino's slender wrist beeped to life, emitting high pitched tones into the car. Annoyed at the sound as if it were chiding him, Lovino clicked the button to silence it, and then reached down between his legs for his pack. Feliciano watched in soundless curiosity as his brother fiddled with a stubborn zipper only to grunt in frustration, hoisting the thing onto his lap to get a better angle on it. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Feliciano staring, and flicked his eyes up to glare bitterly at the younger.
"Take a fucking picture, dickmint." He dared him, instantly regretting his words but refusing to let the unwanted feeling bubble out of his cold demeanor. Feliciano winced as if the words had actually inflicted him harm, sending one last sympathetic look to his brother before turning back around in his seat.
I don't need his damn sympathies,Lovino growled to himself, finally able to fish out the orange capsule. With a bit of pressure, he was able to pop off the top and slipped a tiny tablet of Geodon into his palm.
God how he despised that pill. He despised the way it was forced down his throat, followed quickly by a speedy gush of water to wash away any remnants of the way it felt slithering along his esophagus. Why did he even take it? Sometimes he could swear it did absolutely nothing; for all he knew, it was actually poisoned. He wouldn't blame his grandfather for wanting him dead. Hell, sometimes, he wanted himself dead.
He replaced his pack down at his feet, taking comfort in the way its weight pressed against his shins like some old friend comforting another, and then stared at his hands in mild interest. He liked the way the slender digits moved, bending and unraveling at his will. He could do anything with these fingers.
"So, this is the local town, boys!" his grandfather called out, attempting to repair the broken silence that had now filled the car. "If you look just over there, you can see the top of the high school you'll be going to!"
Just for the sake of looking, Lovino flicked his pupils towards the direction the old man had been referring to. Sure enough, he could see the top of the browned building peeking up over the trees, leering at him as if to say he escaped from one Hell to another. He turned his eyebrows down in a glare directed at the building, hoping to quell away any premonitions he'd get. That or his medicine would kick in and tell him that it's wrong and he was just being crazy.
However, the thoughts still came, and he could feel the building whispering masked threats at him, calling to him to attempt surviving within its halls, daring him to try.
Lovino ripped his eyes away and focused his attention on his knees, his white-knuckled hands clasped desperately together as if he was the only person he could hold onto. A slight, white pin prick of pain dotted along his palm, and he forced himself to unclench his hands, staring at the skin as if it had personally wronged him. Three deep crescents lined the flesh, stunningly dark compared to the rest of his hand.
Why was he so overwrought? It was just a building… Ah, yes. He could feel the medicine flowing through his system, balancing his brain's chemicals temporarily for him to make rational thoughts and discern reality from fantasy. Just a building. Perhaps he could actually enjoy school this year. Maybe he'd be accepted, as long as nobody knew about him. He could go gallivanting in with the bad-boy-with-a-dark-past attitude and have girls just desperate to be on his arms. Boys, too. The thought alone made him laugh giddily, causing his brother and grandfather to share a concerned look before his grandfather addressed him, "What's so funny, Lovino?"
Lovino attempted silencing himself, only succeeding in reducing his laugh to a slight chuckle and met his grandfather's reflected eyes, "It's nothing."
The elder man raised an eyebrow before returning to driving, trying to pretend this behavior was normal.
Though it wasn't.
Lovino blocked out the rest of the conversation his grandfather and brother were sharing, instead tuning his focus on his inner thoughts and the trees whizzing past their car. Would he get better, combining the new atmosphere and the Geodon? Would he be able to walk down the streets one day, confident enough in himself to say "hello world. I am sane!" God, if that day were to come, he would be a better person: He'd give up his spiky attitude to people, he'd donate to charity, and he'd volunteer at fucking animal shelters. He'd do anything to be able to call himself sane.
The landscape changed slightly within the next fifteen minutes. The trees went from small and thin to quite tall; and the forest seemed to deepen considerably. In Lovino's opinion, it glowered at him, calling to him to join the shadows. He also became aware of a sense of…secrecy that the trees held. As if a long time ago, something bad had happened here only they knew of, and that scared him. He made a mental decision to keep away from the deeper parts, for something told him he wouldn't want to have those secrets unlocked.
"There it is," His grandfather said, the words cutting into his thoughts. Intrigued, Lovino turned his head forward to view the house appearing before him, and was immediately frozen in shock.
Dear God…
"Wow!" Feliciano chirped, voicing the thoughts on everybody's mind. Truthfully, Lovino couldn't find any other words to describe the house—no, fucking mansion,-that sat a few hundred feet behind wrought iron gates. It was made out of grey stone, towering about three floors above his head and then tapering into dangerous looking points. The house had three of these peaks, and one of them had a small balcony facing east, where he knew a body of water sat a few miles out. Widow's walk, his mind supplied for him. They were built for women to watch the horizon, waiting to see if their husband's ship would come home. Ivy crept up the front of the house, seemingly attempting to swallow up the residence in its tendrils.
Grandfather stopped in front of the gate, quickly hopping out to unlock and swing it open with a painful creak, then hopping back in to take them up the rest of the driveway.
Suddenly, having a politician for a grandfather had its perks.
"How is nobody living here?" Lovino asked disbelievingly.
"Well for about a century, the historical foundation had full custody of the house. They sold it around fifty years ago to a family who only lived there for twenty years, then they moved out and have been attempting to sell it since then. That's why it's so cheap; it's been on the market for nearly forever. I was really surprised nobody had bought it yet."
It surprised Lovino as well. Despite the obvious wear of age, the house was in impeccable condition. That family had obviously gone to great lengths to keep it in good shape: shiny windows were installed, the hedges were maintained, the grass was green, and the forest that surrounded the house was kept at bay. It was like a house from a fairy tale, and any minute the ugly stepsisters would burst forth and demand petty things.
As they approached the front doorsteps, Lovino could pick out the minute irregularities that age had bestowed on the house. A large crack ran down the stone steps, the large wooden doors looked brittle, and the overall color of the house looked dull and worn-down. However, he actually liked the injuries the house flaunted, they provided character.
Feliciano wasted no time in throwing the door open and then prancing out, set to explore the vast property. Lovino and his grandfather watched as he disappeared around the house, his laughter following with him.
"I really hope you like it here, Lovino," His grandfather smiled at him, turning around in the seat.
Lovino met his grandfather's kind eyes, unsure of how he wanted to reply to the old man. The good thing would be to reply honestly, tell him that Lovino was scared things would get worse, but of course Lovino never went with the good thing.
"Yeah, whatever." With that, Lovino pushed his door open and shouldered his backpack, refusing to glance back at the old man but freezing as he saw another car heading up the driveway. "Uh…Grandpa?"
"That must be the old owner, he's just coming to give us the keys," His grandfather assured him, stepping out and locking the car. The other vehicle approached them, tires crunching loudly on the gravel. Lovino regarded it apprehensively, not wanting to trust the middle aged man driving the thing.
"Hello, you must be Mr. Vargas," The man said to Lovino's grandfather after climbing out of his car.
"That I am," the eldest Vargas offered his hand. The owner took it, shaking his forearm slightly before releasing. "I'm ready to see the inside of my new home!"
The man laughed and fished out a set of keys, handing them to Lovino's grandfather, "Well what are you waiting for then? I can't stay long, so here are some final papers I need you to sign before I leave."
Bored by the adult's conversation, Lovino set to finding his brother, who had disappeared somewhere behind the house. Upon turning the corner, Lovino's eyes were greeted by a large backyard stretching in either direction at least a few hundred feet. Way in the back was a large barn or stable-type thing and to his left fifty feet was a willow tree, its boughs swaying close to the ground. It could be a beautiful yard with some with some work; perhaps they could install a pond. Or a pool. A pool would work nicely.
"Feliciano, where are you?" He called, walking further into the yard.
"I'm over here, Lovi!" His brother replied, providing Lovino with a direction to move to. He found Feliciano rather quickly, who was working on trying to pry cellar doors open.
"Idiot, you need a key," Lovino grumbled, coming to stand next to Feli.
"But look, there are no key holes," the younger pointed out, straightening to stand up. He was right, the metal doors seemed to have nothing keeping them closed, at least from this side.
"I'll bet that it's padlocked from the inside," Lovino concluded, suddenly curious to get inside. "Anyways, Grandpa has the keys now. We should go take a look inside."
"Yeah! Come on!" Feliciano grabbed Lovino's hand and dragged him back around to the front, to find that the doors had already been opened. Feliciano wasted no time in bounding up the stairs and prancing inside, having given up the holding hands thing. Lovino moved much too slow for his liking. Lovino followed him in, and was taken aback once more.
The inside was just as beautiful as the outside, if not more. The entrance opened up to a large foyer floored with some type of dark wood, a little worn down, but still beautiful. A staircase sat on the furthest right corner next to the opening that led to another room. A door immediately to the left of him was closed, as was the door immediately to the right of him. Entranced, he walked into the room just beyond the foyer, and saw a large stone fireplace set in the wall. The room was wide, obviously meant to be a living room of sorts, and that led to the dining hall. Which was huge. The dining hall had a door that led to the kitchen, causing the Italian's heart to thump happily as he walked through that door. He found Feliciano in there, gaping stupidly just as he knew he was doing himself. Large cupboards, a gas burning stove and oven, racks for hanging pots, two pantries, a huge refrigerator, brand new appliances…it was heaven. Plain and simple.
Their grandfather walked in momentarily after them, grinning at the expressions his grandchildren fashioned. They had way too much house for the three of them, he knew, but he wasn't upset with his decision. Perhaps they could hire live-in staff to fill the open spaces.
"Boys, you should go choose your rooms. Almost every room here still has its original furniture, though some of it has been updated or auctioned off. Isn't that great? We don't need to buy too much crap to fill this place up!" He was obviously excited with that fact as well, "There is technically only one more floor, and then the third floor is just attic. We could probably find antiques up there then go sell them off, wouldn't that be neat? If it's all original, we could earn a lot of money from it."
Lovino had already cut out his grandfather, making his way back to the staircase. He fixed his backpack, and then started the trek up, ignoring the protests of the floorboards. The house was spectacular, anybody had to admit to that, but something was off about it. He didn't feel as if it were his house. He felt as if he were a guest staying for an extended period of time. Is that how most people felt when they moved, or was it just him? He really couldn't decide if it was normal or not.
"Wow..." Feli whispered, causing Lovino to jump. He hadn't noticed the boy there. "Isn't this house just amazing?"
"It's pretty cool I guess," Lovino replied, poking his head into the first room he saw. It had a large bed with a green comforter on it and a wardrobe took up most of a wall. He instantly disliked it for the color, it was too green.
"What do you mean 'pretty cool'? It's really cool!" The younger corrected him, following closely behind his brother like a lost puppy. They viewed a few more rooms before Lovino opened one up, the farthest room on the right, and then froze.
This was definitely his room.
Red wallpaper covered the walls, deep and crimson as the reddest of roses. The bed was bigger than most he had seen so far, yet it only covered up half of the left wall. A window looked out over the backyard and as he walked further into the room, he was satisfied to find a vanity, a wardrobe, and low and behold…a fucking fireplace. This room was his, he had now claimed it.
"I call this one!" he shouted into the house, plopping himself on the bed. His voice echoed oddly through the wooden structure, coming back to resonate in his ear with the one thing he had come to call his companion: loneliness. He sighed, turning onto his stomach to stare out the window at the clouds that had decided to cover the sky. He was alone, no matter what his family said. They couldn't comprehend what he was going through, or even who he was as a person. He didn't ever expect them too, but this whole lonesome thing was getting nostalgic.
With nothing else to do, he decided to unpack his overnight stuff, knowing the moving truck wouldn't be there until morning. He pulled out everything from his pack, taking great care to place the Geodon on the bedside table before he forgot, and then worked on deciding what each drawer or shelf in the room could be used for.
Suddenly, he whirled around, swearing he had heard somebody exhale in his room. The noise itself started to make his heart beat erratically, and he prayed that he was just hearing things and it had nothing to do with his…his…illness.
Nothing was there, and no other noises made themselves known.
It's just the house, Lovino, he told himself, going back to what he was doing, and old houses make noises all the time.
For the time being, he could rely on that assurance.