Hello Total Drama fans! This is my fifth story, in which all of the campers from all of the seasons write a poem of their experiences on the show. I came up with this story on a whim, and even though it sounds crazy, I think it just might work out! Oh, one more thing: This is rated T for infrequent moderate language, even though this chapter has none so far. (Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama.)

"Yo, Chris here!" The middle-aged host stood on the Dock of Shame next to a familiar teen. "Here's the news. Since Chef and I haven't been exactly overly creative lately, instead of coming up with a new season, we're forcing the cast to write poems!"

Cricket noises ensue from everywhere. The teen standing next to Chris boos.

"Hey!" exclaims Chris, offended. "It could work! Believe me, I know it'd suck big time if I was writing the poem, but it's the campers. Who knows? We might have a brand new, uh, poem person here!" The teen shakes his head sadly. "Starting with the twenty-two contestants from Total Drama Island, we'll be going in the order they were eliminated. That means we're starting with everyone's least favorite prairie boy, Ezekiel!"

The teenager next to him is actually Zeke himself. "Show us what you've got, Mutant Gopher King!" yells Chris, pointing at the homeschooler.

"Hey! That was ages ago, eh. I'm not crazy like that anymore." He shrugs and holds up a piece of paper to the camera. On it is his poem.

What's up? A bird. I'm Zeke,

Sure, for a while I was a freak

With wicked teeth like a Pteradon's beak,

My situation looked pretty bleak.

It all started several years ago,

When I got an idea, y'know,

To sign up for the show,

Shoulda known it was a no-no.

Back then I lived on the prairie,

It's boring when it's not scary,

The creeps all around make things kind of hairy,

And all we ever had to eat was cream of strawberry.

I came to Wawanakwa,

It was a total shocker,

I might've been off my rocker,

Felt like I'd just seen Spock, er.

Things were going great,

When people began to hate,

On the Zekester who was great,

And then it was checkmate.

Before I could blink an eye,

It was already bye-bye

I didn't even get to try,

I'd been the first boot. Why?

An entire year later

I came back to show up all the haters

But I let our team token get eaten by an alligator

And history repeated: "See ya later, alligator."

It made me pretty T.O ed,

I quickly became P.O. ed,

So ignoring Owen's B.O.,

I snuck back on you see, oh.

I was sure to come back,

They'd cut me some slack,

Or else from food lack,

I'd have a heart attack!

I spent too long in that cargo hold,

I thought I was just being bold,

But I grew prematurely old,

As my heart turned stone cold.

I became a beast,

On rats I did feast,

As the plane flew on east,

My greed never ceased.

We passed France,

I caught a glance,

Of the million cash,

I had a chance!

Things went downhill

Into lava I spilled,

I could pay all my bills,

I had the mil!


Thanks for reading! Sorry if this seemed a bit like if Dr. Seuss could rap. It was probably the rhyme scene. Future poems will be better! Please take a little time to review! Next up: Eva!