A/N: My sister was watching Disney Channel and so I decided to write this.

Summary: Enjolras was channel-surfing when possibly the worst show ever popped up on the TV.

Yes, I am Victor Hugo returned from the dead. *all the sarcasm*

"ÈPONINE!" Enjolras bellowed, causing Èponine to flinch involuntarily. The years of childhood abuse caused her to have that same reaction after a raised voice. This is Enjolras, she reminded herself. He's not going to hurt you.

"Yeah, Enj?" she replied, walking into the living room and trying not to appear scared.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Quickly he hurried up to her, the "concerned boyfriend" expression (Or as Èponine called it, the "Pain in the neck" expression) written all over his face. "Sorry! Really. I forgot your trigger. I'm really sorry, Èp."

"Don't worry about it. You're just lucky Gav isn't home." She repressed a shudder at the thought of her little brother hiding under the bed to get away from her dad (Gavroche's dad had lived down the street from the inn) and hearing her screams as she fought for her little brother, new scars forming on her arms.

"Yeah. I really am sorry, Èp."

"It's okay. So what did you need?" She smiled at him, to show that everything was all better, and let him lead her over to the couch.

"There's a show called Dog With a Blog and where is my gun?"

"R's." Èponine replied, referring to her best friend and Enj's ex.

"Riiiight." Enj replied, sighing. "C'mon, we're picking up Gav and going to murder whoever came up with this stupidity."

"Enj, you know Gav gets triggered when you mention murder." Èponine reminded him patiently, causing Enj to nod again.

"Right. In which case we'll call Courf to pick him up and bring him to the Musain." Enj wouldn't be deterred from his idea of murder.

"Or we could go to the Musain and talk about the stupidity of modern television shows?" Èp often had to keep her lover from murder, and going to the local coffee shop and their favorite hangout was one of the tactics she used as distraction.

"I'd personally prefer the murder..."

"Come on!" She pulled him out of the way, her hand in his as she pulled him out of the two bedroom apartment and toward her baby, the 1969 Chevy Corvette that she'd been saving up for since she got Gav and Zelma out of that house and into a decent apartment.

"Okay!" Enjolras laughed as she hopped in the driver's seat and hit the gas, the car taking off happily down the road. "Ain't she the prettiest thing?"

"Course she is." The happy couple pulled into the parking lot of La Musain just as Courfeyrac and Gavroche did the same.

"Where's Zelma, Roche?"

"Off with Spider." Gav replied, referring to the latest in a string of lovers that Azelma had. Èponine heaved a sigh, shaking her head gently.

"She knows I don't like her boyfriend."

"I don't think 'boyfriend' is the right word for Spider." Roche dropped in.

"Then what is?"

"Toy." They all knew it was true, although they didn't like Azelma using boys for what she used them for.

"Let's go in." Enjolras said quickly, pulling his friends in for another fun-filled night at La Musain.

A/N: Fun, right? I'm planning on making a series of modern-AU one-shots.