A/N: Ohai. Total crack fic.

I still ain't Hugo.

"No, I want the panda pillow pet!"

"No, I want the koala pillow pet!"

"No, I want the turtle pillow pet!"

"Can I have the unicorn?"

"No, I want the- Ooh, a Batman pillow pet!"

"GIMME." Enjolras dove for the pillow, leaving his girlfriend standing behind him as she watched the Amis dive for the pillow pets. So far, Marius had presented Cosette with a kitten, Courfeyrac was clinging to the panda with all his strength as Jehan tried to jerk it away from him, and Enjolras was fighting with Combeferre for the Batman.

"GUYS." Èponine dove for the group of friends and only got caught up in the fray.

"I WANT THE UNICORN, MARIUS. GIVE ME THE UNICORN." Jehan had given up play-fighting with his boyfriend and was now wrestling with Marius.

"PIGGY!" Èponine shouted, diving through three squabbling pairs to get to the pig.

"Never fear, mon poète!" Courfeyrac dove straight for Marius and tackled his weak frame to the ground, pulling the unicorn away from the lollipop-lover and pressed it to Jehan's chest.

"How sweet." Enjolras muttered before presenting Èponine with the coveted pig. "There you are, my Athena."

"Thank you, my Apollo." Èponine smiled, leaning her head on Enjolras's shoulder and hugging her pig close.

A/N: I know, I know.