Water's Edge

Clannad Oneshot

Nagisa.

Out of all people, why did it have to be her? The love of his life, the mother to his child, the thing that keeps him running, is gone. Disappeared. Passed away. Dead.

He knew she was born weak, not made any better by the incident that almost ended her life so many years ago, but now he feel's exactly how Akio did: weak, flustered, confused. He was ready to run out into the harsh winter weather, and bring her to that field, and pray to God that she wakes up- no, that he wakes up from this horrible dream, but nevertheless, he knew it was real, he knew she wasn't coming back, he knew there was no way to reverse the damage done.

Tomoya felt the tears run downs his cheeks, and felt a few slip on his beautiful daughter, Ushio, but he didn't wipe them away, it would have been too much of a hassle since the tears haven't stopped yet, they also reminded him of one crucial thing.

It was his fault.

He never should have met her, he never should have turned back to get her, he never should have asked what was wrong at the bottom of the hill; sure she wouldn't have had as many friends, or be as open as she was, but she definitely would have kept on living, she definitely would have survived this, mostly because she never would have been pregnant. She never would have been married to him, she never would have dated him, she never would have ushered a single word to him.

He was so selfish, not the right person for someone as sweet and pure as Nagisa, but in the end, that wasn't going to stop him. He handed Ushio to Sanae, and before she could even ask him where he was going, he was out the door, not even wearing a coat to protect him from the harsh winter chill, not that he wanted one anyway, his hatred of himself was enough to keep him warm.

He rushed down the steps, and down the street, not even answering to the calls of Akio as he yells his name, he just continues to move. He passes all the new buildings, the disgusting new buildings that he hated, all his old precious memories were being destroyed and replaced with new architecture. The sudden realization of it all, only fueled the fire burning inside him, it only brung him closer to his destination: the beach.

He slowly walked in, feeling the water tickle his barefoot toes, he started whispering to himself, that precious name that he would never say again: Nagisa. He took another step in, then heard his name being called. When he turned around, there was Akio, full covered in coats, and he even had his signature cigarette in his mouth, he was saying something, but Tomoya couldn't understand, he just took another step in, causing Akio to come closer. Tomoya shook his head, he wasn't prepared to listen to anybody, his world was shattered, and he didn't want to live in a broken world.

He turned around, and smiled one last time at his father-in-law, he had grown to love the man, but even he couldn't have been as close to his heart as his love, Nagisa. Akio had his hand outstretched to Tomoya, but he only shrugged, and then without one last glance, rushed out into the freezing ocean, and floated out to nowhere.

As the water started to take over, bury him under the waves, the only thought going through his head was how he was finally going to be with her again, his love, his Nagisa. They were going to be together forever.

A:N: Ello! I just realized how freakin' depressing this suicidal story is! I couldn't help it though, I saw episode 16 yesterday and died crying. (Jk, my poor cat almost drowned in my tears though. He was all wet from me crying in his fur.) The feels were so strong, God damn it! I couldn't help but write to take my grieving out! But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, this is WAY out of my usual zone, and it's not my usual fandom. (I usually write drama/comedy/romance for Ouran High School Host Club. Check out my other stories if you have the time :) I know that not that many people read Clannad fanfiction, but if you are, it would mean the world if you reviewed! Thank you so much, and thank you for taking the time to read this!

P.S. In case you were wondering of the title, Nagisa means Water's Edge/Shore if you translate it to English, so enjoy the feels!