Dear Father

Chapter 1- Born From Evil

At first she wanted nothing to do with the child. Even though she had just bought him in to the world and he had no faults, nor sins, she could not stand to hold him. Not even look at him. But the nurses pleaded her to give him warmth and nutrition. The little boy needed his mother. But Lana Winters knew she was not the mother this child needed. She could not love him for he was his son. She was not fit to even care for a child. So she believed. It was when she finally held the child to feed him that something small sparked within her. Still, Lana cried silently as she fed her son, she couldn't bring her eyes to even look at his small serene face in fear that she would see him. Oliver Thredson. But after that moment something must have changed for she found herself wondering about the small boy's well being. His delicate little body rejected the formula and he wailed frantically for his mother. Lana resisted claiming that she would not feed him again. The little boy had no choice but to keep on crying.

It had been three days since her son was born and Lana had to make a choice. The day was gray and it would rain soon. "Here are the papers, Ms. Winters." The adoption agent said as she handed Lana a stack of papers. "Just sign them and he's off your hands." She smiled.

Lana looked at the blond woman and could not believe how casual she was about the whole thing. She sounded as if the baby was but mere trash and Lana would rid of him soon. Lana tried not to admit that the comment bothered her. She felt nothing for the child but a mere stranger insulting him was something else.

Lana hesitated to take the papers but she did and slowly read through them. "What will happen after I sign them?" She asked looking at the woman.
"Well," the woman began, "You will lose all custody of the boy and he will be taken in to the system until he finds a suitable home."
"He will find a suitable home, right?" Lana looked for the answer in the woman's faded brown eyes. She didn't know why she was even asking. She did not care about the child's fate.

The woman pressed her lips together not sure how to answer, "Adoption is a very slow process. There are many children in the system and many do not get placed right away. However, he's a precious little boy and shouldn't have a problem finding a home soon."

Lana kept her eyes on the woman. Somehow Oliver came to mind and she was almost sure they had told his mother the same thing when she dumped him in the system. But things did not turn out well for Oliver and that lead to many of his horrid problems. Lana could not deny she worried that the same thing would occur to the child she had just brought to life. The world did not need another Bloody Face. And that's when the realization hit her. She was the only one standing in the way of creating another monster. She had the power to stop it or the choice to let him go and wait years until the newspapers are filled with the dead bodies of women. Their future deaths lay upon her hands. Lana stopped long enough to look at the baby boy who lay in a tiny wheeled crib next to her hospital bed. It was the first time she had acknowledged his presence. She was not even sure when the nurses had brought him in or why.

"What will happen if he does not find a home?" She looked to the woman again.
The woman sighed softly growing impatient. "I'm sure he will find a home but if he does not then he will remain in the system until the age of eighteen when he will be released in to society to fend for himself."

Lana's eyes fell down to the papers. She knew how likely stories were to repeat themselves and she did not want to risk it. She did not want to be the reason why mothers and fathers would lose their daughters. Why lovers would lose the women they adored. All because her son chose the footsteps of his father. But on the other hand she wanted nothing to do with him. She had no interest in caring for him or loving him. She wanted to rid herself of him and continued her broken life the best she could. The choice was a difficult one.

Lana handed the papers back to the woman, "I need more time to think about it."
"But Ms. Winters-" The woman obliged but Lana would have none of it. "I need more time." She repeated. "Come back tomorrow or whenever you please. But not now."
The woman had no choice but to collect the papers and leave the room.

Lana sighed in relief and lay back down. She had grown tired of the hospital room and kicked herself for not signing the papers when she had them. She wondered what stopped her. It was then the little boy stirred in his tiny crib. Of course, she thought, it was him. She did not know what compelled her to do so but she stood from the bed and looked down at the little boy. His tiny body squirmed under the thin blue blanket. He was awake and looking up at her. It was then Lana realized the boy had her eyes. She was taken back when a strange feeling overwhelmed her. She knew she never wanted to see the boy but now there she was looking straight in to his eyes. All that time she had been fearing to come face to face with Oliver Thredson but instead she saw a tiny helpless boy who looked at her with so much familiarity. He was still too small to know much but he did know she was his mother. And Lana knew he knew.

"No." She gritted through her teeth, "No, I cannot be your mother. I do not want to be." She said to him. The baby boy squirmed becoming desperate to feel his mother's touch. His little fists wailed in the air and he gave out a soft whine. "You don't understand." She continued, "You're his son. I can't love his son. I just can't." The tears began to fill her eyes and she felt the pain consume her once more.

Flashes of that horrible night filled her mind and she struggled to stay upright. But the baby was indifferent to his mother's suffering and only wanted her comfort. He gave out an impatient sound that only infuriated Lana even more. "I can't love you!" She cried silently.

By now the baby's patience had worn thin and he began to cry. His little lungs filled with air and covered the room in a piercing wail. Lana's frustration grew even stronger and she cried. Finally when she could not take it anymore she picked up the baby from the crib and held him before her, "Don't you understand?" She cried at him, "I can't love you!"

The baby silenced his crying in to small whimpers. He felt himself in his mother's hands and settled against her skin. He opened his eyes and looked at her. When his eyes lay upon her searching for her face. Lana froze. The rain had begun to hit hard against the windows of the hospital room. It was then she thought of Wendy and what she would do. But Lana knew Wendy was stronger then she was to face something like this. Still, if Wendy was alive she would never allow Lana to abandon her son. No matter who his father was.

Something came over her and without realizing it she brought the baby to her chest, resting him protective against her. She then slowly slid against the wall until she was on the floor and commenced to cry. She began to realize that he was her son too. "What am I going to do?" She asked out loud, "What am I going to do with you?" She cried. The little boy rested comfortably in his mother's arms and slowly drifted in to a deep slumber.

"I changed my mind." Lana said to the adoption agent the following morning, "I'm keeping him."

She had made the choice the night before when she sat on the floor with the baby in her arms. She could feel his tiny body breathing against hers. She would have let him meet his fate on his own if it weren't for the memory of Wendy. Lana knew that Wendy would be looking down at her with so much disappointment and sadness. She could even hear her say, "This isn't the Lana I knew."
Lana did not want to let her memory down. She had to be strong, for her.

The woman's jaw dropped with utter shock, "Bu-but-" She stuttered, "Ms. Winters, I-"
"No buts," Lana interrupted her. "After a long night of thinking it through, I decided to keep my-" she paused for a moment struggling to say the word, "…son." she finally let it out. It felt strange and she thought it would burn her tongue when she said it.
"Are you sure about this?" The woman asked. Lana had finally remembered her name; Ms. Anderson, Nancy Anderson.
"Yes." Lana said firmly giving Ms. Anderson a frustrated look.
But Ms. Anderson had no choice to put the papers back in to her suitcase. "If its what you want, Ms. Winters."
"It is." Lana said but she wasn't sure if she was convincing herself or Ms. Anderson.
"Alright then," She smiled and walked over to Lana to shake her hand, "Good luck, Ms. Winters. And remember, if you change your mind you know where to find me."
Lana frowned lightly, "Goodbye Ms. Anderson."

And with that the woman exited the room. Lana could not believe her insistence to rid herself of the boy. Still, Lana knew that if she kept insisting she would have given in. She couldn't allow herself that decision. She had to keep this child. For Wendy and those women who could fall victims to him. She did not want another woman to go through what she or Wendy went through. It would be too much. So she would go through with it. She would raise Bloody Face's son.