Author's Note: Hello everyone. Here's a new fanfic. Actually, this story originated from a very vivid dream I had. It has been a week, and I can still remember every detail and feeling of my dream as if it had been real.
So, to clarify, in my dream I kind of alternated from being Clary and being myself. I didn't want to ruin the story by lamely adding myself or an OC to represent me, so I am Clary in this fanfic. This is the reason for Clary being slightly OOC.
Please, if you read, tell me what you think! I would love you more than I love to write *3* because the best part about being a writer (even a wannabe, fanfiction one) is hearing everyone's opinions and critiques. I'll seriously love you if you review, I'll even elope with you!
Anyway, behold the disclaimer: My dearest readers, While I certainly wish I was Mrs. Cassandra Clare, I am not her and I shall certainly never be, so I pray thee do not believe that by writing about her fictional world I am therefore claiming so.
"They're dead, they're dead, they're dead!" Isabelle repeated to herself crying, as she did every night. "THEY'RE FUCKING DEAD!" She kept sobbing until her words were barely understandable. "They're not suffering, they're dead." She kept crying until, held by an also sobbing Clary, she finally fell asleep.
Every night was pretty much the same for them. They were together, but all of them felt depressingly alone. Everyone missed their families. Those of them who had lost them cried almost every day. Isabelle made herself feel better repeating to herself that her parents and Max were dead. She wanted them to be dead. She didn't want them suffering torture and interrogation, they would be better dead. Her brother Alec didn't even cry anymore. He spent his nights awake, lost in thoughts, as Magnus sadly held him and tried to sleep. Magnus hadn't left anyone behind, -except for his cat- but he was still suffering nonetheless. Alec was slowly drifting apart from him, falling deeper into his own sorrow.
They were on their 7th identity and they didn't feel safe yet. Days went by uneventfully, and yet, their nights were always spent in terror. The one whose turn it was to watch was often not the only one awake. The six of them had permanent dark circles under their eyes, product of the constant lack of sleep. They were used to be around depressed friends now.
Everyone was dreading the next day. They would have to change identities again, since they had already had their current ones for eight days. Everyone changed their hair style and color to look different. They even exchanged clothes. After wearing his own clothes, Jace had worn Magnus's bright clothing, Alec's dark sweaters and even Simon's geeky slogan T-shirts.
Transformation day was always more tiring than any normal day; especially for Magnus, since his warlock abilities were very much required. He always needed a full day of peaceful rest after disguising everyone, including himself.
The past month and a half had been, by far, the worst time of their lives. They had physically exhausted themselves running away, hiding and changing identities. It was nothing compared to their emotional exhaustion, though. Every one of them, except for maybe Magnus, had cried themselves to sleep infinite times. All of them had had to pretend to be someone else over and over again.
Clary lay awake, since it was her turn to keep watch. Surprisingly, she was the only one away, and she was glad. Every one of her friends needed the sleep hours so much that she didn't mind keeping watch alone. The Mortal Cup was hidden in its habitual chest, resting safe in their backpack-suitcase, which was near her feet, just for extra security. If anyone were to attack them, she could instantly grab the bag. It was a peaceful night, so she took out her sketchpad and pencils from the depths of their bag and began to doodle. It was not often that she could have the pleasure of drawing. They were always either busy on the run or too emotionally exhausted.
She started drawing eyes, those of everyone in her company. She began with her own green eyes, surrounded in freckled skin. She used a lighter pencil to do her coppery eyelashes. She then proceeded to do Simon's. His eyes were easy, especially because he knew them so well. She had finished with the brown eyes in less than five minutes, capturing them perfectly. She drew Isabelle's dark brown eyes, Jace's golden ones and Magnus's famous cat-green eyes.
She left Alec's for the end, since his eyes were by far her favorite. She had tried to draw them before, failing miserably. She had never been able to capture their expression. She could draw them perfectly, the right shape, shade and size, but when she looked at her drawing, they were just a pair of blue eyes, identical to the ones in Alec's face. But they still weren't Alec's eyes. She grunted in frustration, failing for the thousandth time.
She heard movement, so she instantly dropped her sketchpad and drew out her stele, ready to defend herself and her friends. She was soon calm again when she noticed it was just Alec. She quickly put her sketchpad back in the bag, not wanting him to see what she had been drawing. Alec stood up from his sleeping spot on the floor and went to sit by her side.
"I hate it" He said quietly. "Not being able to sleep, I mean." He cupped his chin in one of his hands, resting his elbow on his leg.
"You're not the only one" Clary said shyly. "I'd be awake even if I wasn't patrolling." She hugged her chest, a gesture she wasn't normally aware of. "I'm really nervous about tomorrow."
"Yeah, me, too. I was starting to like being fat and short, though" He joked, his heart not fully on it. It still made Clary's heart speed up. Alec was so cute. Not that she was ever going to say that aloud, though. She loved Magnus too much to make him suffer by being in love with his boyfriend. And there was also Jace. He was in love with her. She couldn't imagine the magnitude of his heartbreak if she suddenly confessed she was in love with his brother. No, she was better off quiet. She silently smiled.
"Yeah, and you have no idea of how much I like to be called a dumb blonde" She answered, wanting to lighten the mood a bit. She succeeded, since Alec smiled. By the Angel, it had been weeks since she last saw him smile sincerely, not forcedly.
"Clary? Can I ask you something kind of personal?" He inquired shyly, unsure of himself. Clary blushed, her heart making a little jump. What could he possibly ask her?
"Yes?" She answered cautiously.
"Do you think we'll ever get out of this?" Her heart beat slowed, almost dying. This was not the kind of question she had been expected.
"Honestly, I don't know." She answered with a sigh. "But that's not really personal" She frowned, not looking at him.
"Yeah, you're right." He answered meekly. "Are you in love with Jace?" That question certainly surprised Clary. She wanted to yell Of course not, I love someone else!, but she didn't want her feelings for Alec to be revealed. She could lie and tell Alec that she was, but she didn't want to somehow give Jace false hope, so she settled for telling the truth. Or a small part of it, anyway.
"With all this going on, the last thing I can think about is a relationship" Only if it's with you, she thought sadly to herself. She wanted to cry, she wanted him to hold her. But that certainly wasn't the best thing to do, though. "Besides, I'm not the right person for Jace, it would never work between us." She said while thinking because I love you, not him. Alec sighed.
"I guess you're right. Our priority is surviving and protecting the cup, not dealing with dating issues." He said sadly. Clary wanted to hold his hand and reassure him, but she held back for both their sakes. It was killing her.
"It seems that we have finally lost the trio" She said, settling instead for a more secure topic. "We last saw them in New Jersey two weeks ago, if they had traced us, they would have already attacked us." She said this to reassure herself more than Alec.
"I know, but we can't get out wards down. We still have to change our appearances tomorrow, we can't afford being careless." He said with a determined expression on his face. Clary agreed, the atmosphere falling silent between them.
They sat, side by side, for at least another hour. None of them fell asleep, they were both too awake, but too uneasy and nervous to carry the conversation further. Clary nervously turned around her mother's stele in her hand, Alec was playing with the sleeve of his shirt. Thanks to Clary's rune, they could still see each other in their true appearances, even if they had the strongest glamour on them. To everyone's eyes, Alec looked like a fat and short guy in his late twenties with red hair, dyed blond at the tips, and brown eyes. To her eyes, though, he just looked like a normal black-haired, blue-eyed teenage Shadowhunter withoversized party clothes.
Their glamours had been their strongest allies while hiding. They could perfectly blend in with mundanes, not having their marks or Magnus's cat eyes to give them away. Clary herself had taken a great responsibility in disguising everyone. Magnus was in charge of putting on the glamours, she was in charge of marking everyone with a rune she created to make them a hundred times more powerful. Nobody, except for themselves, could see through it. They had finally proved it a week ago by asking a mundane artist to draw their portraits. Clary was really pleased and relieved to look at the drawings, seeing only the strangers they looked like. Magnus was the only one of the party who could not bear marks. Even vampire Simon could do it, but Magnus couldn't. He was in charge of making his own glamour incredibly more powerful.
Clary and Alec were still sitting side by side when the sun rose. Clary closed her eyes, dreading the end of her alone time with Alec and reluctantly stood up to wake the others. She had some trouble waking Isabelle and Jace, but nobody really protested. They couldn't afford the luxury that was complaining. They all rose from the floor, brushed the dirt off their clothes and packed everything on their big bag.
Everyone dreadfully took a look at the abandoned school that had been their safe haven for three days and prepared to leave. They had to head to the place where they would transform themselves. They walked to a junkyard and stole an average-looking SUV, which Magnus brought to life with a few blue sparks from his fingers. It was Simon's turn to drive, so everyone else could afford to fall asleep. Alec was the only one who did, resting on Magnus's lap.
It's going to be a long day, Clary thought from her seat on the third row.
Now you've read it, please tell me if you like it
Btw, the title of this fiction is inspired by Last Hope by Paramore. The content also kinda fits with the lyrics.