Iggy and Gazzy were making a bomb.
This was hardly news to anyone, after barely a week of staying at Dr M's house, the woman had already learned to hide the matches and anything flammable, but the two of them had a challenge on their hands. They had been forbidden from using Nudge's clothes as fuses as she was basically on her last outfit and had gone out shopping for more clothes (Dragging Angel and Max along too, much to Angel's pleasure and Max's distaste).
The two had considered using their own. For barely a second as the idea was ridiculous and not worth actually thinking about. Besides, who would want to ruin Iggy's extensive collection of novelty T-Shirts?
So, while the girls were out shopping, Iggy and Gazzy had decided to make the most of their relative freedom (Fang was happy to pretend that he didn't notice what Iggy and Gazzy were doing so long as they didn't actually cause any lasting damage to Dr M's house or kill anyone) and make the best, most awesome, most Ig-tastic and Gaz-mazing bomb they had ever made.
They had succeeded for the most part, using various beauty products from Dr M's personal stash (They were far too terrified to touch Ella's) as well as a few random looking baking ingredients such as flour and oil and even a small touch of vanilla essence.
The creation in front of them was truly spectacular. About the size of a small goat (Measurements supplied by Gazzy) and roughly spherical with a few edges and corners, it slouched in the middle of the living room looking both a little bit proud and a little bit special.
The two beamed as they looked at it, feeling rather like parents at their child's graduation.
"Where do you think we should detonate it?" Iggy asked Gazzy, his maniac grin only enhanced by the fact that his eyes were unfocused and looking just slightly to the left of Gazzy's shoulder.
"I don't know," Gazzy responded, "But I think we should wait until Max and the girls get back. I'm sure they'd be sad if they missed out on seeing our masterpiece in action. Besides, we still have to find something to use as a fuse."
Iggy nodded in agreement.
"Sounds like a plan. As for the fuse, why don't we look through Nudge's stuff again? She's sure to have a scarf or a pair of socks lying around somewhere. You know that girl's version of 'no clothes' means enough to fill three shopping bags."
"I'm nodding Ig." Gazzy narrated.
"Why do people always do that?" Iggy mumbled, "I'm blind. There's no point in nodding. If you're going to nod and tell me you're nodding you may as well just say 'yes'."
Twenty minutes later, after filling through every one of Nudge's draws, they had found nothing more than a small piece of paper with a bunch of nail-polish tests on it and a few feathers.
"We could always go looking through Fang's stuff?" Gazzy suggested miserably, "Or Max's, or Angel's, or Dr M's, or Ella's… man, we live with so many people. Remind me why we only use Nudge's stuff again?"
"Because the rest of them would not hesitate to stick us through the heart with hot pokers," Iggy reminded him, "Besides, Nudge has always had so many clothes I thought she would never run out. It's like that legend about the cup that never runs out of water."
"I'd like one of those," said Gazzy, "only instead of a glass of water, it should be a plate of bacon. That would be epic…"
Iggy made a noise of agreement and the two of them drifted into their own daydreams about a never-ending supply of bacon before snapping back to reality and the problem at hand.
"So what do we use as a fuse then? We can't use any of our own clothes, that would be stupid. And clothes always work best as fuses… it just wouldn't be right to use anything less than the best for our masterpiece."
"Hmm..." Agreed Iggy.
"I suppose we could sneak in and see if we could borrow one of Fang's shirts…? He's on his blog right? If we ask him to borrow one and he's completely absorbed in what he's doing, he shouldn't even ask why we want to borrow it."
"It's worth a try I suppose."
The two of them stood up and wandered into the room which they shared with Fang, trying to look as innocent and unsuspicious as possible. Surely enough, Fang was sitting at the desk, typing away like a madman, no doubt updating his many fans as to how they were currently living a perfectly normal life. Iggy couldn't help but wonder if he'd received any more marriage proposals recently.
"Hey Fang," Iggy began,
"Can we borrow a shirt…?" Gazzy finished, putting on his bambi eyes (Still no match for his sister's, but enough to make the average person a pile of 'awww' shaped goo)
Fang however, didn't even look up.
"No. Use one of your own."
"But Faaaang…" Iggy whined, "I don't want to ruin my carefully constructed wardrobe system by rifling through it for clothes I don't want."
"We don't have a wardrobe Iggy." Fang pointed out, "And what 'carefully constructed system'? Your clothes are all over the floor."
The two looked over at the mess of clothes pilled on every inch of available space.
"Not true!" Objected Gazzy, "Some of them are on the bed, and there are socks on the lamp… I think that's his boxes on the book pile…"
Fang turned around long enough to give them an 'I win' look before he re-focused on his laptop.
"Ugh. Fine… be like that… I guess we'll just have to use some of Max's stuff."
"You know she'll kill you right?"
"Um, yeah." Iggy said in 'duh' voice, "And we will suffer that fate… unless you decide to help out your bestest-buddies and lend us a shirt?" He added hopefully.
"Not a chance, Ig."
Gazzy made a face at him behind his back and the two turned to leave, grabbing Fang's favourite shirt off the bunk ladder as they walked past.
"We wouldn't have had to use his favourite if he'd just agreed to give us one of his old ones." Iggy pointed out to Gazzy as they stood outside, staring at their masterpiece and trying to subdue the urge to blow it up.
"Yeah," he agreed, "You'd think he would've learned by now."
Iggy opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the sound of a door opening in the distance.
"The girls must be back," Iggy said, "You go lure them outside and I'll get things ready."
Gazzy saluted him and put his fingers in his mouth. He drew breath so big his eyes bulged out of his sockets, before emitting an ear-piercing whistle.
"Dammit, Gaz!" exclaimed Iggy, who now his hand clasped over his hyper-sensitive ears, "When I said 'lure them outside' I meant maybe go and tell them you'd found a dying rabbit or something, not deafen me."
Gazzy simply grinned at his friend.
"Well it worked didn't it?" he asked, gesturing at the small group that had raced outside almost immediately, crouched into their various fighting poses.
"Not the point, Gaz. So not the point."
Gazzy simply rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.
"Ladies, Gentlemen and Max," he began grandly, "We have gathered here today to witness the explosion of our finest contraption as of yet."
Dr M's eyes widened in horror as she realised what was going on, and Max took a threatening step towards the two of them, her hand balled into a fist and a look in her eyes that suggested the two of them would not live to make another "fine contraption" if they went through with what they were about to do.
Iggy grinned manically and held up a lighter.
"Before you ask," he said, his eyes looking just off to the left of the group, making it appear as if he were focusing very hard on a previous scorch-mark on a porch post, "This should not kill anyone. But all the same, I would suggest standing well back."
Max took another step forward, but stopped as Iggy held the lighter by the fuse and shielded his eyes with an arm. Gazzy pulled on his safety goggles (That also doubled as swimming goggles during the summer) and put up a pink and purple spotted umbrella over the two of them.
"Three," Iggy said.
"Two," Gazzy continued.
"Is that my favourite shirt?" Fang asked in disbelief, "You two are so dead!"
"One," Iggy finished.
He lit the fuse and the two of them immediately ran away to hide behind an overturned picnic table, putting the umbrella over their heads and peeking over the edge just enough to admire their handiwork.
There was a small moment of quiet fizzing as Fang's favourite shirt burnt down into nothing more than a small scorched puddle.
Then, just as Max had breathed out a small laugh at the two's failure, there was a tremendous boom and the entire package shot into the air, the contents erupting over the group of onlookers like small pieces of flaming snow. A crater the size of an armchair smouldered where the bomb had been sitting, and something surprisingly similar to the smell of burnt pizza lingered in the air.
A moment of tense silence followed the explosion and Max wiped a piece of ash from her forehead before taking a deep breath, while Dr M's face remained eerily calm, her eye twitching ever so slightly as she took in the mess of the once spotless backyard.
Iggy and Gazzy took a second to high-five each other over what they considered to be a grand success, before realising that the stunned silence of the group was not a good thing.
"Um, Ig," Gazzy mumbled nervously, "I think perhaps it's time to go."
"Yep," Iggy agreed, looking remarkably worried for someone who couldn't even see the icy expressions on his other friend's faces, "I was thinking maybe we could go for a jog…"
"Sounds like a good idea," Gazzy agreed and the two of them jumped up from behind the picnic table and sprinted as fast as they possibly could to the relative safety of any kind of public place.
"I'M GOING TO KILL THOSE TWO," Max screamed as the pink and purple spotted umbrella disappeared around the corner.
"Get in line," Dr M told her, "I may not be as young as I used to be, but I can still wield a steak knife like no one else."
Ella turned to look at her mother in alarm, but she was already gone, obviously already racing after the two mutant misfits.
"They owe me a new shirt," Fang growled before following after Max, who was tearing after her mother.
"I guess dinner's going to be late then," Ella grumbled, "if there's any dinner. Considering the one who usually makes it may be on the menu."