There are three important times that Remus fails his wife.
The first is when he rejects her advances for so long, breaking her heart (and his own, not that it matters) piece by piece.
The second is when he runs away from her and their unborn child.
He's a failure as a husband, and he'll be a failure as a father, but he has to go back to her. Now he knows the joy of being with her, he can't bear to be without her. So he turns up at her parents' doorstep, almost certain that he is beyond forgiveness.
This is the third time she proves him wrong.
She forgives him easily, despite how much she hurts, but trusting him is another matter entirely. "I'm here for good," he tells her time and time again, hating the way he remembers how he'd told her that before, and left anyway.
No matter how many times he tells her that, or any variation of those words, he can't mend her broken trust. Promises not kept are empty and hurtful, and the only way he can make it up to her is by staying. In staying, he'll be substantiating all those hollow words with actions, giving her a place to plant her faith again.
It's a slow process and for once, Remus feels impatient, unwilling to sit through this awkward phase of learning and relearning how to be with her, when being together used to feel more natural than anything. Back when Sirius was still alive, and theirs was an easy, uncomplicated friendship, they'd fall into conversation as though they'd been talking all their lives.
Now, he doesn't know what to say. He loathes sitting in silence with her, it makes him want to fill the void with endless apologies and explanations she won't want to hear. He's painfully conscious of the fact that they're in the middle of the greatest war ever faced by the wizarding world, terrified that every word he speaks to her might be the last.
They celebrate the end of the year in her parents' backyard, without any fuss or festivities. Ted's death hangs over them all, the unspoken elephant in the room. They're determined to make the best of it, though.
"Happy New Year, Remus," Tonks says, and he doesn't care that it feels wrong to be so happy when there's so much to be sad about, he lets himself enjoy it.
He starts to return the greeting, but before he can get the words out, she's covered his lips with hers in a wordless celebration of the tumultuous year they've had and the year that is yet to come. Fireworks explode in the sky above them, and fireworks explode between them, and Remus spares a moment to think that Nymphadora Tonks will keep proving him wrong for the rest of their lives, and he's more than happy to let her.
It is the first and only New Year they spend together, and in just over four months' time, they will both have left the living world behind.
Before he leaves for the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus says a painful goodbye to her and Teddy. They are the most precious thing in his world, and they have given him something worth dying for. For him, taking part in the Battle is not an option or a choice, it is a necessity. If any contribution he makes leaves their world the smallest bit safer, he'll do it, regardless of the cost to himself. There is nothing he wouldn't do for Teddy and Dora, nothing.
Reaching into one of his pockets, he removes an envelope and places it on the nightstand in Teddy's room. The letter it contains is filled with a small selection of all the things he wishes his son to know, just in case.
Hearing the sounds of someone tripping, and then muffled cursing, Remus turns towards the door, where Dora stands, watching.
"I'm coming too," she says firmly, morphing so that she's tall enough to look him directly in the eye.
"No! It's too dangerous! You could get hurt!"
"I won't. You know damn well I'm more than capable of defending myself."
She's right, so he tries a different angle. "You have to stay with Teddy. He needs his mother, Dora."
"He needs his father, too, so don't pull that one with me! We'll both go, and we'll both come back to him."
"No!" He snaps desperately. "You can't – I can't – I can't lose you, don't you understand that?" He grabs her shoulders, begging her to back down, to be safe, and the rawness of his confession moves her to relent.
"I do," she says softly. "I'll stay, okay?" He wants to believe her so badly that he misses the lie in her voice.
"Okay. I love you." They kiss once, a bittersweet goodbye, and then he's off.
This is the third time he fails her, and the first time she doesn't prove him wrong.
He's in the middle of duelling Dolohov when he notices her, pink hair impossible to miss amongst the sea of fighters. She's duelling Bellatrix with everything she's got, giving as good as she gets, but Bellatrix is far from done.
It only takes a moment, and Remus feels it somewhere in his chest, that split second when the world seems to stop spinning, because Dora is no longer in it. Bellatrix fires spell after spell, relentless in her onslaught and the insults she hurls at her niece, and somehow, one of them slips past her defences, snuffing out her light as though she is a feeble, insignificant candle.
"Dora!" He doesn't mean to shout, the sound is ripped from some place inside of him, grief that cannot be contained, his final and greatest loss.
Bellatrix laughs madly at his despair and disappears into the fray, her mission complete.
He failed her yet again, he should have saved her, protected her, and that's all he can think; adrenaline shields him from the onslaught of grief that is sure to come. He isn't left with his regret for long; Dolohov has not stopped duelling him, and smiles cruelly at Remus, sensing his advantage. Remus battles half-heartedly now, trying to think of Teddy, but it's not enough.
Dolohov's spell catches him off-guard, and it's with a small sense of relief, mixed with regret for his soon to be orphaned son, that Remus follows his wife into the afterlife.
There are three times Remus Lupin fails Nymphadora Tonks, and three times she proves him wrong, but there are a million moments of happiness in between, and it's those moments that make them who they are, and those moments for which they will be remembered.
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Written for:
The three part series canon competition
The All Sorts of Love Competition - OTP