Disclaimer: Velvet Goldmine belongs to Todd Haynes and other people, and I am not among them. This story was made only for fun; I didn't receive anything for it.

Summary: Brian is going to visit his new beach house. But he finds a surprise when he gets there.

Ships: Curt/Brian, and a little, very little Brian/Mandy

A.N.: Well, English is not my native language, and I should warn you that I wrote it without a beta reader. So, if you want to read, be aware that the following text may have terrible grammatical mistakes.

Also, this story is PURE crack. Be warned.

Rated: PG-13, for some innuendo, but it's really very PG.

Chapters: One, completed.

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About Fathers, Cynical Wives and Clueless Lovers

By Mychelle in a Wonderland

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- Brian, sweetie, but we don't have enough places for holidays? – Mandy said, her fake accent becoming more pronounced in her tone as she spoke.

- Certain things are never too much, Mandy – Brian said, grinning - And I... we can. It will be one more refuge for us. And it was really good that we could come here now, because I want to see that if, this time, the house is being made in the way that I want – Brian said with a sigh, barely restraining himself of pouting; he wasn't satisfied with the outcome of his last beach house, when the pottery of his house had been of the beige color, and the walls were painted in the color of sand, exactly the opposite of what Brian asked.

- I guess you're right, baby... I hope that the house, this time, will be in the way that you want. – Mandy said quickly, before she rolled her eyes at her husband.

- Yes... where is Curt? – Brian said, distracted – He should be here already.

- I don't know... it was me who came with you, is it not? – Mandy said, with an ironic smile.

- Yes, of course... well, let's talk with the man who is putting the ceramics – Brian said, resigned.

They walked through a few rooms until they found a man crouching, putting the ceramics. Brian looked around and saw that house was like he wanted: the walls with shades of mixed blue, and with black ceramic, to contrast with the environment. He turned to the mister and said:

- Congratulations for the work, it's exactly how I wanted, mister...

- Slade - the man said, getting up and reaching out to Brian, who stopped dead when he realized that he was in front of his father.

- Thomas, is that you? - His father said, shocked when he saw the blue hair and Brian's clothes.

Brian didn't answer; it was Mandy who greeted and embraced the man. When Brian managed to recover his capacity to speak, he said:

- Father, what are you doing here?

- I was hired by a company for work in here... but you, Thomas?

- It's Brian, father – Brian sighed, rolling his eyes – And this house is mine.

- Since when you have so much money, Thomas? - His father gasped, amazed - Well, it seems that you didn't talked with your old man for a really long time, wasn't it? - Mr. Slade said, resentful.

- It hadn't been that long, father, and... - Brian was interrupted by a cheerful voice that called him:

- Brian! Oh, finally I found you!

Brian looked at the voice's direction and saw Curt Wild coming at his direction. Brian swore under his breath and hoped that Curt wouldn't touch him exaggeratedly or screw up the situation even more with his typical behavior.

Of course, Brian wasn't that lucky.

Curt stepped closer to him and practically took him in his arms in bridal style, forcing Brian to throw his arms around Curt's neck for balance himself; and then, Curt kissed Brian in a very obscene way, devouring him and pushing his tongue inside Brian's mouth without any gentleness. Brian closed his eyes, because he just couldn't keep them open when Curt kissed him like that and then he sighed, returning the kiss and forgetting himself and the moment.

When he finally opened his eyes, reality hit him when he saw his father looking at him, his eyes wide with shock. Brian quickly pushed Curt away, and his father said:

- My son, you are gay?

Brian, Mandy and Curt exchanged glances, and Brian could notice that Curt understood everything fast. Way too fast, because a moment later, he was exploding in laughter.

When Brian looked at Mandy in horror, as if asking Mandy for explanations for his lover's behavior, she looked at him with a wounded look and spoke with a professional cynicism:

- Dear Lord, Brian, during all this time, you were cheating me on with your guitarist? I'm really, really hurt, how could you be so low with me?

Brian looked at Mandy to Curt with indignant fury, but they just proceeded to laugh and talk, so Brian just screamed:

- Mandy, shut up! Curt, stop laughing!

They obeyed with expressions of fake respect, but they both maintained a semblance of mockery. Brian ignored them and turned to his father:

- Father, I'm not gay.

His father simply ignored what he said and asked:

- Thomas, why did you never tell me?

- Mister Slade, excuse me to ask – Mandy started, and Curt continued, none of them paying attention to the murderous look that Brian was giving to both of them:

- But didn't you ever listened to the radio, read newspapers or even watched TV in the past two years?

- I can't say I did… No, I don't think I did. I don't care so much for the media and its opinions... why?

- Your son is famous in all country! - Curt said joyfully, and with some kind of strange pride, he continued –A fucking star. The biggest Glam Rock singer in all the England, who encouraged millions of teenagers to get out of the closet and assume themselves as bisexuals or gays!

Mr. Slade just looked for Brian with astonishment and said:

- My son, it is true?

Curt stepped behind, and Brian remained in silence for some minutes, until he finally said:

- Well... yes, it is.

- Why you never told me that you are gay, Thomas, or anything about your career? - His father said, visibly hurt.

- Dad, is Brian now. And I'm not gay, I am... bisexual.

Mr. Slade looked at Brian, still hurt with his son; in this same moment, Curt stepped closer again and handed him a newspaper.

- Mister Slade, you can know the history of your son's career with this newspaper.

- Thank you, sir...

- Nah, just Curt, Curt Wild. I'm a singer too, and your son's lover. There's a picture of us there, see? - Brian gritted his teeth when he saw the big photo in the newspaper, with him and Curt tangled in a very hot kiss.

With his father distracted, Brian pushed Curt aside and whispered:

- You are so going to pay for this.

- I'm trembling already. – Curt whispered back, sarcastically.

- You should, because you are not going to have any sex with me for at least a week.

Brian felt incredible satisfied for a moment, when he saw that Curt's smug smile was replaced by an expression of despair.

- Oh no, come on Brian! What the fuck I did for i...

- Shut the fuck up - Brian whispered again, rudely - Father, it was very good to see you again, but... Mandy and I are already going – and Curt too.

- But Brian, I wanted to stay longer and...

- So stay, Mandy – Brian sighed, angry and tired - Bye, father.

Brian almost ran out of the room; Curt followed him.

- Brian, but what the...

- Curt, you just grabbed me in front of my father that I hadn't seen in seven years and that didn't know that I was bisexual. And if it wasn't enough, you still managed to make him discover my history as Maxwell. In this moment, you're the last person that I want to talk. - Brian almost growled.

- Brian, but your father would find out it anyway! I still don't believe that he hadn't seen it before; you were really going to keep it hidden from him?

- I intended! - Brian finally stopped wandering - And, anyway, the decision was mine to make! You didn't have the right to make it for me! – Brian finished, making a tearful face against his will.

- You and your fuckin' masks, your fuckin' lies, Bri – Curt said, hugging him from behind, folding his hands in Brian's chest – I wouldn't tell you to stop lying to yourself, because I know that it's fucking impossible, but stop lying to all the world - or at least stop lying to those who are near you. Your father didn't look disgusted to discover your history, just surprised.

- Perhaps you're right, Curt. But anyway, the decision was mine. – Brian said, but his heart wasn't in it anymore; he turned around and buried his face in Curt's neck, distributing light kisses. Seeing an opportunity to do something in that awful afternoon, Curt whispered in his ear:

- What do you think about ending this conversation in one of the new rooms, hm?

Brian stepped away from Curt and said, with a raised eyebrow:

- No. No sex, remember?

- But Brian, you really didn't mean that for re...

- For one week, forget any idea of sex between us - said Brian, with an evil smirk.

- Oh, for fuck's sake… a week is way too long, Brian. - Curt complained.

- You have to thank me that it will be only a week and not a month - Curt almost shivered when Brian said that.

- Now, I'm going to change my clothes before leaving. You can go watch – he emphasized the word - if you want. – And then, Brian walked toward the house, turning to the other side so he would not walk into his father's direction again.

Curt sighed. Afterwards, he would talk with Mandy to know the end about the history of Brian's father. But in that moment, he accepted the suggestion of his lover, knowing that this would be a very long week.

The End

N.A.²: Well, I wrote this fanfic some time ago, but only now I decided to translate it.

If you're asking yourself where the hell this idea came from, there's a part on the movie, when it's mentioned the following: "His real name, in fact was Thomas, and his father owned a small tiling business in suburban Birmingham."

Then, the whole thing grew out of control.

I would appreciate reviews, if you have anything to say to me :-)