Sokka: So Katara, I've been compiling a list.

Katara: Mhm…? You're always making lists.

Sokka: Well don't make it sound like it's a bad thing! I'll have you know that list-making is very therapeutic-

Katara: What's the list for Sokka?

Sokka: Oh! Right. I'm making a list of all the things I'm going to do with my new nephew!

Katara: …I'm not sure whether to think that's sweet or hit you because MY BABY'S A GIRL.

Sokka: First off! I'm going to introduce him to the wonders of meat.

Katara: She won't be weaned for quite a few months-

Sokka: Second! I'm going to teach him how to use a boomerang.

Katara: A boomerang? (image of mini-Sokka appears in her head) Oh La no.

Sokka: Third! We're going to-

Katara: Besides, she's a firebender.

Sokka: go spear fishing- Wait. What?

Katara: What?

Sokka: A firebender?

Katara: Huh. I guess so. I didn't really realize until just now but I've kind of known all along…

Sokka: What?


Sokka: My nephew's going to be a firebender!

Suki: I thought you couldn't tell if a kid was a bender until they were around 7?

Sokka: Psh. If Katara says he's a firebender, he's a firebender.

Suki: Katara also says your 'nephew' is a girl.

Sokka: Shh, that's different. But do you know what this means?

Suki: That succession won't be as much of an issue as Katara was worried about?

Sokka: He's going to burn down our curtains!

Suki: (stares at Sokka for a long time) …Why would you ever come to that conclusion?

Sokka: Meh! Have you ever spent time around young benders? Katara always splashed me or froze me or dumped snow on me- I'm telling you our curtains are not safe!

Suki: Shouldn't you be more worried about you getting burned than the curtains? What even made you think about them?!

Sokka: I just bought the curtains! They are the perfect accent piece and they're going to be ruined… (grown man sobbing)

Suki: …


Zuko: Why are we doing this again?

Katara: Because Sokka's my brother and Suki's our friend.

Zuko: Right. (holds Solan out at arm's length) (Solan gurgles and blows bubbles)

Katara: You're doing it wrong.

Zuko: I'm not doing anything! How can I be wrong?

Katara: (rolls her eyes) Bring him closer to your body. He's not going to bite you.

Zuko: But… Oh fine. (pause) This is not fair. Why do they get to have a night off?

Katara: You're just upset because Solan peed on you.

Zuko: And you're only in a good mood because I got peed on.

(Katara giggles)

Zuko: (sighs in frustration) I'm not good at this.

Katara: What do you mean? Of course you are.

Zuko: I can't even take care of my nephew for one night! How am I supposed to take care of our own child?

Katara: Zuko. You can't beat yourself up because you messed up one diaper change. Your first, I might add.

Zuko: Yeah but- (Solan yawns loudly and snuggles into Zuko's chest) (Zuko melts)

Katara: (looks on smugly) You'll do just fine.


Toph: We're back!

Sokka: I kind of noticed. Hard to miss the flying bison and all.

Aang: Katara!

Katara: Hi! (gives bone-crushing hug)

Aang: (suffocating) Hey- um- I think you're squishing the baby…

Katara: (jumps back) Oh no! I'm so sorry sweetie! (rubs stomach)

Toph: You're pretty far along now, Sugar Queen. Just look at that baby bump! Somehow I didn't expect it.

Zuko: Yeah. She's beautiful, isn't she? (big goo-goo eyes)

(Sokka gagging)

Toph: Dwah. Stop being cute, I feel less manly.

Aang: Would you stop using that phrase? You are a girl. A very pretty, tough girl…

Toph: Stop.

Aang: (laughs nervously) Katara! I brought you a present! (rummages around bags in Appa's saddle)

Katara: Aw Aang you didn't have… to… (looks sideways at raggedy thing in Aang's hand)

Aang: It was mine when I was growing up. I thought the baby might like it.

Katara: Um. That's very thoughtful of you…

Zuko: What in Agni's name is it?

Aang: A stuffed platypus-bear! See? There's its eyes, and there's the bill… (points to indeterminate lumps)

(Toph is laughing uncontrollably)

Aang: Hey! What's so funny Toph?

Toph: (smirks and nudges him) Nothing. You.

(Aang turns pink)

Zuko: (turns to Katara) You seeing what I'm seeing?

Katara: Yep.

Zuko: Gross.

Sokka: (around mouthful of food that mysteriously appeared just that second) Whaf's grosth?


Toph: Hey Sugar- Katara. Can I… talk to you for a second?

Katara: Is something wrong?

Toph: No, no, nothing like that. I just… well, you and Zuko are so happy…

Katara: Yeah…

Toph: How did you… I mean, when you first got together…

Katara: You want me to tell you how to confess to Aang?

Toph: (flushes crimson) Hey! I never said I liked that lily-livered-

Katara: It's okay. I can tell.

Toph: …Is it that obvious?

Katara: Well, I don't know. I know you two pretty well.

Toph: You two? What am I, split personality?

Katara: No, Aang! He likes you back you know.

Toph: Oh. I know that.

Katara: You do?

Toph: I read heartbeats, remember? He's just so stubborn. It's been years, Sweetness, and he's never made a move! It's like he's afraid of me.

Katara: I can't believe I'm telling you this… Just kiss him.

Toph: What?

Katara: You don't want to make a big deal out of it, right? So just go for it.

Toph: Yeah. Yeah. Alright. (exits determinedly)

(Katara retches at the image of her adoptive younger siblings kissing)


Zuko: This is very weird.

Sokka: Tell me about it.

Zuko: I always thought I'd have to threaten Aang's future girlfriend so she'd treat him right.

Sokka: Isn't that a little backwards? Shouldn't you want to threaten Toph's boyfriend?

Zuko: I am not afraid for Toph in the slightest.

Sokka: Me either.

Zuko: So which one of us is going to threaten Toph? For being Aang's girlfriend?

Sokka: You are. And you're going to drink a lot of beer first.

Zuko: For courage?

Sokka: For the pain.


(Katara is quietly knitting a pair of baby slippers) (Enter Zuko)

Zuko: Hey, babe. Take a look at this! (produces new bowl with a flourish)

Katara: (drops her knitting) Oh Zuko! Did you make this?

(Zuko nods proudly)

Katara: Oh it's so beautiful! Look at the dragons along the side! You really painted this?!

Zuko: What? I'm talented!

Katara: Of course, it's just- Wow. What should I do with it? It's a little big to be a soup bowl.

Zuko: I don't know. I was thinking you could keep water in it. A decorative water basin.

Katara: Yeah! That'd be nice. I can pull water from the air if I want, but it's kind of tiring, so having a bending source around... I could put it on the table down there! Oh, but it's kind of low... Actually, all the furniture in here is kind of low. Didn't we say we should keep it clear? For the baby?

Zuko: …

Katara: Something wrong, hon?

Zuko: (takes bowl back, grumbling) Stupid baby-proofing…

A/N: I crack myself up with this! It's coming to a close now though :( Next chapter is probably the last one. Once again don't forget to check out Blue!