1Fifty Shades of Antimatter
by me, Insanitypony
Chapter 1
"Confound you, Margolias Tracy Lulamoon! You haven't seen the last of ME!" bellowed the king of the hell goblins as Margolias kicked him into the death chasm. "I knew you'd get a KICK out of that one." Margolias said smoothly and all badass-like. "Margolias! Margolias!" panted his pet hunchback pony, snips, as he waddled toward him. "Margolias killeses the hell goblins, yes?"
"Yes, the vile ruler of the hell goblins is dead, but I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of him. Let's go home snips." Snips had to shield his eyes as the sunlight glinted off of Margolias's brilliant space armor made from the life essence of sentient stars. As they trudged through the snow of the harsh Equestrian arctic, Margolias realized something. "Snips! Where are the scrolls?" Margolias asked frantically.
"Looking for something, Margolias Tracy Lulamoon?" said five sinister voices in unison. Margolias turned around to see the five headed dragon, Klllllll Hamburger, the most wretched beast to walk the fourteen hells. "Klllllll Hamburger! I should have known you would have escaped from the dimension of severed squirrel heads. What do want with the scrolls of agalhullicay!?"
"Don't be naïve, Margolias Tracy Lulupoop. You know that to defy my dream of operating the universe's greatest taco truck would be to defy fate itself, and even you aren't that powerful."
"You're the one that's naïve, Klllllll Hambooger. I wiln every season The Great Food Truck Race Equestria and nothing can stop me! Snips, attack maneuver Beta Corndog!" Snips leapt into the air, then shattered into a hundred tiny crystal shards. Each one rocketed into space at 500 baked potatoes per gruntlesnartch, and then flew back down, burning intensely through the planet's atmosphere. Using advanced targeting systems, they all zeroed in on Klllllll Hamburger, ready to strike with deadly napalm swarmers. Each fragment of Snips exploded on Klllllll Hamburger's position with a sort of raw power that none of President Manjesus's creations should ever be able to survive. But you see, Klllllll Hamburger is neither living nor dead nor anything in between. He is pickle, and Margolias Tracy Lulamoon couldn't quite grasp that concept.
"You're partner is DEAD, along with your entire clan. What do you plan to do about, boy? Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!" There was only one move that Margolias thought of that could defeat Klllllll Hamburger, but it hadn't been tested yet. Oh well, yolo.