Total Drama © Fresh TV Inc. & Teletoon
Total Drama Redemption
I sat at my computer, entering some information into it.
Title: "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie"
Author: Numeroff, Laura
Category: Children's Literature
"I remember reading this when I was a kid. Never knew at the time how well it would describe the greediness of people in the real world." I thought to myself.
Just then, a blonde teenage girl came up to my desk. She looked at my name tag.
"Excuse me, mister... Carter. Do you know where I can find a book named 'Twilight'? It's written by Stephenie Meyer." She asked me in a bubbly voice.
"Yeah, I know where you can find it. In Hell. Why don't you read an actual book such as 'Harry Potter' or 'Lord of the Rings' or 'A Song of Ice and Fire' . You know, books written by people who actually know how to write?" I wanted to say.
"Yes, I know where it is. Follow me." Is what I actually said.
While I was wandering the halls in the library trying to locate that abomination of a book, the girl started talking to me more, something that I really didn't like. I work at the library because it's peaceful and quiet. Not to talk to people.
"You look kind of familiar. I think I've seen you before." The girl said.
"No you haven't" I quickly said.
"Yes I have. You were on that show... what was it called? Hmmm? Oh yeah! Total Drama Island, now weren't you?" The girl said. Then she continued. "What was your name, oh yeah, Noah, wasn't it? Didn't you kiss a guy on that show? You were also booted off first on your team, weren't you?" She asked inquisitively.
"You have it all wrong. I'm not Noah; I'm uh Neal, his um... twin brother, yeah! I'm his twin brother Neal." I replied.
"That's my story and I'm sticking to it." I thought.
"Oh. Sorry for the misunderstanding. You two look so much alike. Do you, by any chance know where Noah is?" She asked.
"Why, so you can go bug him about it?" I thought.
"No, we don't really keep in touch that much." I said, fakingly apologetic.
"Oh well. Well here's the book I wanted. Thanks for the help." She said.
"Yeah, whatever." I said. "Please burn that book and then flush the ashes down a toilet." Is what I should have said.
Nothing else that was even remotely interesting happened at the library. I mean, it's a library for goodness sakes. The most interesting that had happened thus far was the water fountain spraying water erratically into peoples faces when they misjudged the angle.
But I didn't come to the library expecting it to be interesting. I came here for the books.
"Ahhhhhhh the library. A bookworm's paradise." I thought to myself.
My shift had ended, and it was time for me to head home. I was exhausted from all the typing that I had to do, but the job pays well enough, and it's mostly quiet.
Just then, I got a message on my phone.
Geoff: 'Hey man! Just wanted to let you know that I'm throwing a party tonight, and I wanted to know if you would be there.'
Sorry Geoff but I am as tired as Duncan after "The Big Sleep".
I texted him back.
I mean, what did he expect? That an introvert like me would suddenly turn into a party animal overnight?
I'm not really the party type anyway. I was tired, and I was thinking about what that girl had said back at the library. I wanted recognition after being on "Total Drama Island", but not in this way. At one point, I had even considered a facial transplant.
It all started from the moment I went back to high school. Even the nerds made fun of me. If not for me kissing another guy, then for me losing first on my team and finishing 20th overall. (21st since Eva came back).
I assumed it end after high school. but it was not to be. The bullying carried on for all of my four years in college. Man, was I glad to get out of that dump.
I had the wild notion that adults were mature and wouldn't poke fun at me for such things, but, wow, was I wrong. I'm not really an emotional guy and I can take a few jokes, but the stuff I was receiving was too much. It all just made me more of a cynic.
"One would think that being on one of, if not THE most popular show in all of Canada at one point would make people like you at least a little bit more, but apparently I'm wrong."
I was way out of my league with that statement.
I tried to sleep, but it didn't come. I just kept thinking about all the stuff that had happened since I left that show. Most of them were bad. Too bad. I decided to go watch some TV to take my mind off of things.
I flipped on the television. Something with the initials C.F.L. was on.
"What's it stand for?" I wondered.
On TV, an announcer spoke. "Hello and welcome back to this game of the Canadian Football League."
I watched the sport for about a minute, which was one minute longer than I should have.
I'll never understand football. A bunch of sweaty fat dudes running around with an egg-shaped ball in their hands or throwing it to other people, only for that person to get demolished by another fat person.
Who in their right minds would watch such atrocity?
Not to mention that the sport is called football, even though they barely use their feet. I do not see why Tyler enjoys watching this so much, but then again, he doesn't know why I enjoy reading so much.
Jocks and bookworms are just too different to understand each other.
Thinking about Tyler brought me back to all the things that happened after the show.
You moron. You turned on the TV to forget about those things, not to remember them.
"Yes, brain, I know!" I shouted. I like my brain. It just gets on my nerves sometimes.
Oh dear. Am I actually talking to my own brain? I feel like I'm Izzy or something.
Crap, I did it again. Why did everything always had to go back to Total Drama Island?
I changed the channel on the TV. It was now showing a horror flick.
"It's like that challenge when Chef dressed up as a killer and then terrorized the campers" I muttered. Aw shizz, I did it again.
I kept flipping channels, but on every one of them was something that; in some way, shape, or form reminded me of TDI.
This obviously wasn't helping, so I decided to turn on my laptop and maybe watch some funny cat videos to cheer me up. Bad idea. My background image was the 22 of us posing for the camera on the Dock of Shame. I slammed my laptop in frustration.
Not all of the experiences that I had on Total Drama Island were bad. It was just that I wished some of the bad experiences would go away. It had been eight frickin' years since I got eliminated.
I wish I could erase them. I wish people would forget about them. I want another chance. Just one more chance to change everything. It's all I want, please. I don't know who I was talking to since I was an agnostic and so far no evidence had pointed to God's existence. No actual evidence anyway.
Noah, quit blabbering and go to sleep you dilweed.
"Piss off brain." I muttered, before I began to drift off to sleep…
Apologies to any Canadian football and American football fans.
Also, with regards to Twilight, I am really sorry about- WAIT WHAT!? That book actually is crap! Seriously, did Stephenie Meyer slam her head on the keyboard and published that garbage? Maybe she was high...
Ahem. Anyway, see you guys next time!