Here it is. The long awaited chapter for I Can Be Your Angel. I really hope you fall in love with this story. I already have the entire plot written out in my head and on several post-its. Warning ahead, this is going to be a sad stuck. Major character death will be seen in this story. Adult themes will be present. Suicide and attempts of suicide are going to be mentioned. Leave now if you are not comfortable with anything as such, but if not, feel free to go ahead and read the long awaited first chapter. ~Angie
Boot clad feet shuffle quickly towards a steep cliff. Blonde head hanging over the edge staring down at the thin silver outlining the river below. A cape fluttering behind his back the strong gust of wind trying to pull him back from the edge. Soft cotton sitting nicely on his soft baby like skin which showed had He had never worked a day in his life. He never had the need for it.
Sometimes he wished he could. His life was planned out from the moment he took his first breath. Never allowed to do things his own way. Free from poverty but still caged in. Everything he makes his own ets taken away. Every dream squashed beneath the heel of a boot like a small bug that was crawling across the ground looking for a way out of the four walls it accidently found itself locked in behind.
What use was there for life when he could have every physical thing he wished for but never have the freedom to his mental wants? What use was it to live where everyone expected so much more than you could give? Perhaps its time to just let go. Time to forget forced on duties and responsibilities.
He takes a deep breath. Ignoring the screaming inside his head that this body was not his. He steps on the ledge. His body still on the solid ground for a brief moment before a loose rock sends him down. He tries to scream. To shout. To use his cursed gift to fly back up to safety. Realizing that this body, this want to give up on life, it was not his. This wasn't him.
The scream does not come. The jagged rocks outlining the shore of the river coming closer as the wind flutters his cape behind him, the wind tousling his hair. For a moment he feels like the whole world is his. He can fly. The feeling of flying is fake. He had flown before. The closer he gets to the ground the harder he tries to scream and erase the satisfied smile off his face.
He wants to scream but he can't because the person he was replacing at the moment wasn't screaming. The person's head he had entered, seeing through his eyes, feeling what he feels, he wanted this. He wanted the looming death. Because death, seemed like the only answer to his dream of freedom.
His eyes shut. Sharp pain erupting through his entire body for a split second before his soul leaves the body. This time he screams as the blackness takes over him. He wants to get back into that body. Wants to learn exactly why he submitted himself to death by his own hand. Why he felt like his life was over even though he had everything.
He jolts upward with a start. His own screams waking him up. Cold sweat soaking his nightshirt he opens his eyes, calming his screams with big gulps of air. The loud gasps turning into small gasps as a candle is lit and brought towards him. White hair and bright red eyes staring down at him. The young mans face filled with nothing but worry for him. Concern creasing his eyebrows together.
"Sollux, you alright? I heard you screaming." He wants to yelled at him that of course he was screaming. No one was supposed to feel that way. No one should feel what its like to die countless times over many years and each night wake up in cold sweat. No one should see others die through their eyes. He nods his reply, hoping that would be all the albino wished to receive from him. He had convinced the other that the visions have long stopped and the only thing that remained was the nightmare of his sisters death. Most times the nod would work.
Unfortunately that was not true and the other stands waiting for him to say something. Taking a deep breath and praying that his voice does not sake he lets out a small 'im fine' before laying back down on the bed. His hand protectively clutching his thin wool blanket closer to his sweat drenched body.
The candle gets blown out and Karkat walks out of his room back to his own. Most likely telling his wife that he did not believe that nothing was wrong. trying to figure out why Sollux was lying to him. Which was true even if he would not admit to them. He did lie to them. The strongest visions were rare, he still had them. Most times, he would wake as if from a normal dream. They never were. Each night, he would see someone else die through their eyes. Each day loud voices would echo and scream inside of his head. Screaming their last screams before violent unnatural death struck them silent.
Pushing the scratchy wool blanket off his body, Sollux gets up and walks quickly out the cabin he shared with Karkat and his wife, Nepeta. The fresh forest air enters his lungs the moment he steps out the stuffy small cottage. An owl crying somewhere off in the woods as leaves rustle softly in the cool night breeze. A wolf howling at the waning moon somewhere far off in the distance.
Breathing in the crisp air, ignoring the sharp sticks and needles pricking his bare feet he walks away from the safety of the four walls he found himself always surrounded by. For that moment, the voices of the soon to be dead were not present, but he knew that they would be there soon. It never took them long to return. They always came back, screaming loud as ever bringing sharp pain to his head that could only be healed by sleep. Sleep which once again brought their screams. An ongoing cycle that never seemed to end.
Running a hand through his black hair he sits down. His once black trousers bunching around his knees. Leaning against a tree he lets his mind slip away into his memories. The small part of his brain that he did not always allowed himself to access, but at times when he felt alone, they were exactly what he needed. Memories of his life before meeting Karkat. Back when he still had the one person he called family.
The visions and voices have been with him for as long as he could remember. His sister, Aradia was similar to him but instead of hearing the screams of the soon-to-be-dead and controling physical objects with his mind, she could speak and control the dead. The cursed gifts set them apart from the rest of the world. Made them freaks around other people who did not hold the same gifts as them. His one red, one blue eyes did little to help the growing suspicions.
Together they grew up. They wanted to stay together forever. LIve together with their spouses under teh same roof. Their dream bright and alive until the misfortunate day someone hurt one of his sister's friends. As revenge she sent an army of dead souls to hunt her new found enemy. Her stupid mistake resulting in her immediate capture and a burning on a stake while a large crowd screamed witch in her name. Cheering the law enforcers to toss more wood into the flames that slowly consumed her. Screaming at her to return to the hell in which she belonged.
Learning from an anonymous source that the law enforcers planned to come after him ext to claim him a demon. The satan worshiping brother of a black witch, he fled the town. Carrying nothing with him but his memories.
Deep in the forest he stumbled upon Karkat's cottage. The white haired boy accepting him in and the two of them became fast friends. Both outcasts to the world who did not accept them because of their looks. Both claimed to be children of the devil himself doing nothing but cursing anyone they approached. Both deemed not normal by those who saw themselves as normal.
Sollux knew he was not normal, and perhaps he did deserved to be an outcast. He never fit in with the society in the first place. Along with the screaming voices in his head, the nightly visions, crazy ability to control things he knew he shouldn't be able to, he had feelings towards men. Not feelings those of friendship, but feelings that he should have only felt towards women. Feelings of lust and want, filling his very rare dreams that were not covered in death.
He told Karkat about his feelings at some point, the albino embracing his crazy side and agreeing to being with him. Sollux teaching the albino how to love men until the day they stumbled upon Nepeta. The cat like girl who had run from a village due to accusations sent towards her for witch craft. Karkat drew away from Sollux and claimed that the attraction that they felt was wrong and instead became close with her. Soon the two wed privately knowing that publicly they would be killed on the spot. Sollux outwardly agreeing to the new arrangements without an argument knowing that there was nothing he could do. Wasting his breath was not worth it.
The three of them still stayed together. Despite distrust and well kept secrets they still felt attracted to each other in ways that others would never feel. All of them hunted for things they could not control. Wanted dead because others feared them. Fearing him because of his strange colored eyes. Scared of Karkat because of his lack of color pigment. Trembling from thoughts of Nepeta because she had a love for the demonic creatures and held a love for was the fear that brought them together. It was the fear that helped them meet. For him, it was by the cost of her sacrifice. Her body burning in a way of unnatural death.
Behind his closed eyelids, the light changes and the wind stills. Even the small insects that filled the silent night with noise stilled. Smiling he opens his eyes. Staring straight into her colorless glowing eyes outlined by blood red make up. Her ghostly white tangled curly hair floating around her head. Tattered clothes yanked around her by an invisible breeze. Leaning down she strokes his tear stained cheek. Her mouth moving to form words he wished he could hear. Offering him a weak smile she leans in, softly kissing his forehead. Vanishing from his sight before he could begin to beg for her to stay.