Wrote this when first trying to get into 'Shuumatsu No Laughter' fics, and decided it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, so might as well post it. If you haven't read the manga, please do because it was all too short and REALLY good. Plus, we REALLY need more fanfiction for it so that I'm not up there on the wall all alone.

Hope you enjoy. Review if you wish.

Sometimes Sad


I'm looking out the window and watching a group of girls and boys pass from down below. They look up at my window, towards the room my brother and I have been staying in, and it feels like they can see right through the dirty glass. Then their whispers grow quiet and they hurry past. They're afraid, and that doesn't make me angry. It makes Brother angrier then it does me. He's protective like that. No, I just wonder because as I watch, I know that in some other life, I should be down there walking with them.

I think brother blames himself sometimes, though he always tries to hide it. I certainly don't blame him. It could have been anyone, but it was me. It's no big deal at all. I'm not angry, or ashamed, or embarrassed. . . Just sometimes I get sad.

Brother and I, we don't change much. He's always determined, always a tease, yet always serious too. I'm always short, with smaller legs then he, and my hair just won't grow it seems. But would any of that have changed otherwise? I'd always be shorter then him because I'm a girl, and short hair doesn't get in the way. . . Than again, I have always wanted hair like my mother.

I've always wanted to go walking with friends, to go on a date, to wear pretty dresses that have cuts and layers to show off a figure. . . I've always kind of wanted a figure. Even Brother notices figures. . . He tries to hide it from me of course. But I know. I don't see why any girl with a figure would want him though. He's only a handful of years older then me and he's already groing bald!

I have always wanted to be able to reach the top shelf without help, I've always wanted to go dancing, and I've always wanted to look in the mirror and think how pretty I am. But no, all I see is a little kid. A little girl. . . An Akuma.

I'm not embarrassed by it. I'm proud of who I am, but sometimes. . . I do get a little sad.