Hiei…

Yukina called me in a fit of tears, saying Sitsumi wasn't back at her place and that she wasn't answering her phone. I already knew the reason for the latter; I had her phone in the palm of my hand at the moment. 37 missed calls from Yukina were on it, 44 from Naoko. I decided to let it ring throughout the day, turning the volume to mute so I didn't have to listen to their ring tones. I could barely get in a word edgewise as my sister blubbered her apologies for what she had said earlier, begging me to come help her look for her best friend. I wouldn't have been so concerned if it wasn't getting so dark already.

I asked my hysterical sister if she checked Sitsumi's apartment. She said she had looked there at least 4 times that day, and she still hadn't come home. She had already asked Naoko where she typically hung out at, where she could've possibly gone, but still no luck in finding her. She couldn't file a missing person's report because she hadn't been missing long enough.

What's more, wherever she was, she had to walk. She not only left her phone but her wallet as well in her hurry to get out of my place. I still have no idea what had gotten her so riled up, what could've made her act that way.

I sighed.

That girl was far too much trouble.

"Please, Nii-san, I have no idea what else to do or where to go. Touya and I have been looking all day." Yukina continued to cry over the phone.

"She's an adult, I'm certain she can take care of herself." I said as I grabbed my thickest coat.

"What if she got kidnapped, or mugged, or even worse?"

"Look, I'm getting in the car and going out to see if I can find her. I'll call you and let you know if anything happens."

Before she could respond I had hung up on her. I was still a little sore from what transpired earlier, because I don't think I deserved any of that or any of the rest of this headache, but here I am, getting into my car who's heater fan still isn't working. At least hot air will blow through so long as the car is moving.

Fuck me.

Sitsumi…

I managed to find the train station, but found out I didn't have my wallet either. I don't remember ever picking it up when I ran away from… Yeah. Yeah I'm pretty sure I left it. I'm such a loser.

I walked around trying to get my bearings. I really had no idea where I was. Nothing was familiar. The only thing I knew was that Hiei-sama lived on the 10nth floor of one of these buildings. I just wish I remembered what it looked like. He always parked in the parking garage and we would take the elevator from there to his floor, with his key access of course, but I… just have no clue where that was at.

By the time it was late afternoon, I had given up. I went to the mall and different shopping centers to window shop, since my wallet wasn't with me, but mostly to get out of the cold for a while. The snow was piling up fast, and the wind picked up furiously as the sun set lower and lower. Though I love the snow, I really, really hate being cold, and being out in it all day just wasn't good for me. My toes feel frozen, and I had forgotten what it felt like to be able to wiggle them in my shoes.

I tried thinking of different ways to get ahold of one of my friends to come and get me, but I didn't remember any of their numbers. This is what I get, honestly. I shouldn't have done that with Hiei-sama. I can't imagine what Yukina must think of me. Mr. Minamino will have to fire me. Naoko will definitely be furious.

I thought of asking a few strangers for some change for the train ride, but I got too anxious and bile started building up in the back of my throat whenever I attempted to talk to anyone that I didn't know. I started to really feel helpless the moment I saw the pinkish hue of the sky as the sun slowly set below the backs of the buildings. I continued to walk around, wondering how someone could suck this bad.

Hiei…

I drove around for about an hour, not really sure where to look. A stress headache was beginning to form, my temper at a slow boil. I was a hair width away from snapping.

I heard my phone go off to a familiar ringtone. I answered with venom that dripped from the corners of my mouth.

"What could you possibly want at a time like this, Mukuro?"

"Hiei, nice to speak with you as usual." Mukuro was being formal if a bit sarcastic in her tone.

"I really don't have the time for pleasantries."

"Good, neither do I. I just wanted to inform you that I managed to speak to a few of my clients and they are willing to negotiate on price. I've been in a meeting all day with them after I had a cup of coffee with that secretary of yours."

Shock entered my system, my eyes widening at the thought. "What? Which secretary?"

"Seriously? I'm offering a multi-million dollar deal and you're more concerned about your employee? I'm surprised at you, Hiei."

"Stop playing games with me, which one?" I pressed.

"The one that looks like a lost kitten. She's really cute, far too trusting for you, Hiei."

"You saw Miss Sai?"

"I don't recall her name." She was nonchalant about it, but I could tell in the inflection of her voice that that was indeed who she was talking about.

"Where? Where did you see her?" I was losing all sense of propriety and patience.

"How's this? I'll tell you where I saw her if you agree to meet with me again about this deal."

That manipulative bitch. It was rare when I didn't have complete control over my emotions, and I gave far too much away. Mukuro picked up on it instantly. She knew me too well. I'm sure she wasn't expecting Miss Sai to become leverage for her, not with my history with women, but she certainly snatched up the opportunity. I hesitated in my answer. "When?"

I could hear the smile spread across her face. "Thursday at 4:30 sound good to you, Hiei?"

"Fine."

"Lovely. I left your lost kitten at the coffee shop just two blocks away from your apartment. You know… the one that you hated. Good luck finding her. See you Thursday, Hiei."

She hung up the phone without saying goodbye.

Good riddance.

Sitsumi…

I walked down a main street, hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe, I'll recognize one of the buildings. I didn't really want to go back to Hiei-sama's place, but it was the only way to get my wallet back. I don't even want to know where I could've lost my phone.

I'm not ready to face Hiei-sama yet. I…

I stopped dead in my tracks. Out of all of my worrying, all of my thinking, all of my anxiousness, I don't think I really ever considered how Hiei-sama felt. I… ran away… when he was trying to talk to me. The realization hit me in the gut. It felt like cement was drying in the pits of my stomach. I wanted to throw up. I never actually considered how he must have felt. He… we…

I flushed red as I remembered last night. I've never been with a man before, not in that way… not in anyway to be honest. It was nice… and … Hiei-sama was actually really sweet, and gentle, and caring. I put a hand on the spot on my neck where he bit me. I remembered just how sharp and rigid his teeth were. I remembered how they sunk into the flesh as it brought a moan to my lips even though the pinch was just a bit painful. The spot was tender, but… I liked it.

I remembered when he kissed me, how sure he was of it, how there wasn't a moment of hesitation. He just leaned in… and kissed me. I don't even know why he did it, or what I could have possibly done to make him want to do such a thing, but I couldn't help but kiss him back because of it.

I remembered when he asked me to stay the night, how scared I had gotten for a moment, but he was so sweet. I remember the look in his deep red eyes, they were heated, unsure, but really sincere. He leaned down to brush his lips against mine, the barest of touches that even now thrilled me. He asked me again to stay the night, and I remembered the whispered please.

How did I make him feel running out on him like that? I was so concerned about myself and how everyone was going to hate me that I forgot to consider him. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes as I clutched my chest. It felt as if it was collapsing in on itself, tightening in on itself as it desperately tried to get through its own bone and sinew.

Oh my gosh, what have I done?

tbc…..