Disclaimer: I do not own High Mountain Rangers.

Reborn

The back door opened and Jesse stepped out. "Is this seat taken?" he asked softly as he gestured at the chair next to Robin.

"Have a seat," she smiled.

He settled into the chair and sighed as the peaceful quiet of the mountains settled over him. "I know you have a lot of questions about Matt," he began, suddenly looking old and tired.

Robin felt her stomach clench at his words. "Yes, I've been worried about him," she admitted.

"Me, too," Jesse sighed. "Me, too."

Chapter 6 - Realizations

"He won't ever come back to the mountains, will he?" Robin asked Jesse softly.

Matt's father heaved a deep sigh. "No, Matt says that he can't every time I bring it up. He blames himself for what happened and feels guilty that he is alive when his friends are dead."

"Survivor's guilt," Robin murmured. "Jesse, none of us blame Matt. He thought things out well. He went over and over those plans and studied every little detail. I know because I watched him. We all discussed the raid and gave our input. Cutler and Hart knew the danger they were getting into when they got into the helicopter that day. It was a choice they made. I wish there was a way to make Matt see that." Frustrated, Robin stood and moved to the porch railing, leaning her hands on it and staring out over the inky blackness of the meadow.

"I have tried, and so has Cody," Jesse admitted.

"If Matt won't listen to the two of you, then there is no hope. The two of you are his lifelines. Has he seen a counselor?" Robin inquired.

Jesse joined her at the railing. "At first, yes, he met with someone once a week. Then he started skipping appointments; he finally declared that he was tired of rehashing everything. He never went again after that."

Jesse ran a hand over his face and Robin turned to look at him in the light that spilled through the window. Lines creased his face that hadn't been there before, and his eyes were dull with the worry he carried for his son. The invincible Jesse Hawkes suddenly seemed very vulnerable and human. Gently, she placed a hand on his forearm and gave it a slight squeeze. "I am very glad that you came to help us, Jesse."

"It was time to return to the mountains," he replied softly. "My soul is here; I always knew I wouldn't be in the city forever."

"I rode my horse up to your cabin last week. I'm afraid it has fallen into disrepair."

"Fixing the cabin will give me something to do when my work here is complete," Jesse informed Robin. "I admit that it seems a bit strange to think that the Rangers no longer exist. Cody and I both spent a good deal of time here at the station. I will hardly know what to do with myself now."

"You can join us here at the camp anytime you like," Robin told him as she stifled a yawn. "I think I'm going to call it a night."

"You go ahead, Robin; I'll be in later." Jesse's voice took on a far away tone.

"Okay, goodnight, Jesse." She knew his mind had settled on his struggling son and memories of the past that had been dredged up by returning to Tahoe.

"Goodnight, Robin."

Once upstairs in her room, Robin slipped out of her jeans and t-shirt and pulled her nightshirt over her head. She crawled beneath the crisp white sheets on her bed and sighed as she made herself comfortable. It had been a long day.

Sleep, however, refused to claim her. Instead, her mind focused on Matt and the self-blame he tortured himself with every day. She longed to be able to "fix" him, but it sounded as if he was perfectly content blaming himself. A headache throbbed behind her eyes as she rolled over onto her side. She finally drifted off to sleep just as the sun was rising over the mountains.

When the alarm went off the next morning, Robin woke bleary-eyed and irritable. Her headache had not lessened; in fact, it was worse. She dressed in jeans and a pink t-shirt and stumbled down the stairs. She needed coffee.

Making her way into the kitchen, she headed directly for the coffee pot.

"I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole," Bryce cautioned her.

"Izzy?" Robin yawned.

"Yup," her brother replied. "He was the first one up this morning."

Robin studied the contents of the coffee pot and finally poured some into her mug. "I hardly slept last night. I guess I'll have to take my chances." She took a tentative sip of the dark brew and wrinkled her nose. It was awful. She dumped the contents of her mug and the whole coffee pot into the sink. "I'm desperate. I'm making a new pot."

Bryce chuckled and placed his empty cereal bowl and spoon into the sink. "Jesse and Izzy just went outside to get started. Come join us when you are ready."

Robin agreed with a yawn and gave a sigh of relief a few minutes later when the coffee was ready. By the time she joined the men outside, they were discussing the best places for the cabins and making final adjustments to the lists of supplies. When they left mid-morning to go to the home improvement store, Robin retreated to her office to work on funding for the camp.

The phone rang about an hour later, startling her from her work. She answered it on the second ring.

"Hey, Robin," Cody's cheerful voice echoed through the receiver.

"Hi, Cody!" She exclaimed happily. It was so good to hear his voice.

"I just wanted to make sure that my dad arrived safely."

"He did, and we stayed up late last night working on plans for the cabins. He went with Izzy and my brother to order supplies. They just left an hour ago. If you want to talk to him, you can try calling back later this afternoon." Robin leaned back in her desk chair, happy to hear her friend's familiar voice.

"Okay, maybe I will. A riding therapy camp, huh?" Cody questioned.

"Yes," Robin enthused. "Maybe once you graduate you can come see it."

"Definitely!" Cody told her. "I might even be able to volunteer a bit until I find a job."

"That would be great." She sighed deeply. "I feel like our little Ranger family has been torn apart, but I think I will feel much better once you're back, Toad."

"I will, too, Robin. I need the mountains," Cody sighed. What he didn't say was that he didn't know how he was going to leave Matt behind all alone in San Francisco.

To Be Continued...