I'm REALLY surprised nobody has done something like this before. It has some potential. It has shock humor to be exploited.
Anyways, here's to my first work centered around MLP.
DISCLAIMER: HEY, HEY HEY! JediAlexColbent don't own s**t from MLP or the parody Shed . mov. They are all the property of Hasbro, Lauren Faust and Hotdiggedydemon and if any of you try to claim otherwise, y'all gonna take a long visit to my shed! *Chainsaw revs up*
And on THAT creepy note, enjoy!
Hey, Hey Hey!
Sunlight and happiness covered the strange yet addictingly adorable world of Equestria. The birds sang in a peaceful and cheerful tune, the winds gave a cool and refreshing wave of oxygen that came courtesy of the hard-working pegasai high above the clouds and it seem liked nothing in all creation could ruin such a beautiful day.
Yeah, you all have had this false sense of security fed to you tons of times right before things go to s**t, let's just get straight to the point.
Fluttershy, the current bearer of the Element of Kindness and a peaceful, caring yet gentle and timid young Pegasus pony cared for all living creatures as if they were her very own. To the birds in the trees, to the small and helpless insects lurking in the grass, even a ferocious grizzly bear would find itself a spot in her loving heart. Yet this day, she found herself with the task of leaving them all to attend to a relative's wedding as her maid of honor. But luckily, she knew just the right group of ponies to look after and care for them until she returned.
Unfortunately, Twilight was currently with Princess Celestia at Canterlot receiving lessons for her soon to come rule of Equestria and Applejack was bedridden with a twisted front hoof, so she got Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to help instead.
Well... at least Angel was around.
"Ok, so just remember, the birds all must be fed at approximately 10 AM sharp, all the squirrels, chipmunks and mice need a balanced diet of leafy greens, fruits and nuts and MOST IMPORTANTLY, Angel only gets desert if he eats his vitamin sprinkled carrots. But don't cut them up for him. He likes to do it himself."
Right below her waist, the small and fluffy rabbit gave a look that seemed far from happy at her treating him like a child.
"Don't you give me that look, mister. I'm not going to be around for a few days and I do not want you taking advantage of Rainbow and Pinkie thinking that you can do whatever you want."
"Don't sweat it, Fluttershy." The cyan colored guardian of the Element of Loyalty said with confidence. "We'll make sure everypony's on their best behavior while you're away."
"And when you get back, I can't WAIT to throw you a "Welcome back from your aunt's wedding Party!" Ooh! I should start planning the flavor of cake and decoration colors! You guys think that it'd be cool to make it a surprise party? That'd be extra SUPER AWESOME! Wait, did I just say that outloud in front of you, Fluttershy? Well, in that case, think you wouldn't mind forgetting?"
The pink and energetic Earth Pony inhaled a large breath of air after forgetting once again to make sure she didn't pass out from her over-excited chatting.
"Sorry! But the good news is that I haven't lost consciousness while talking in over 3 days in counting. That's a new personal best!"
Suddenly, the faint sound of an object falling from the sky catches their ears.
"What's that noise?" The yellow Pegasus pony asks.
Rainbow tilts her head upwards towards the sky above to see, but not 2 seconds afterwords does she shout the words "GET DOWN!"
Acting quickly with all her years of training and natural instincts that came from racing, she shoves her two friends out of the way of the object that comes crashing to the earth where they once stood. The three ponies stay lying still, afraid to look up at what caused them to take such quick evasive action. Fluttershy is the first to open her eyes as she soon spots what nearly crushed them: a silver colored box like device that actually opened up vertically like a book, but was covered with a large assortment of buttons and keys on one side and with a black colored window on the opposite.
"Wh.. what is that thing?" She said with fear clearly evident in her voice.
"Heck if I know!" Pinkie soon answered.
"I think I know." Rainbow responded.
"Yeah. It looks like one of those advanced technological doohickeys that Twilight was working on. Supposed to be for storing close to a million libraries worth of books in. I think she called it a "Hooftop Computer" or something egg-heady like that."
"WOW! That's SOOOOOOOOOOO cool! But wait, why'd it just fall right out of the sky like that?"
"I have absolutely no clue, Pinkie. Maybe Twilight accidentally sent it here for some reason."
"Oh dear, but it's not like Twilight to make a mistake concerning transportation spells!" Fluttershy voices with concern. "Maybe we should send her a letter to let her know we have it."
"Yeah, maybe you're- hey, what's that?"
As all three ponies inch closer towards the Hooftop, they see a little box entitled "Shed . mov" displayed.
"What's a Shed dot mov?" The Pink energetic pony asks to no one in particular "Is it a type of book? Or a desert book? Because it doesn't sound too appetizing to me."
"I don't think it's either, Pinkie. Twilight said something about being able to use the Hooftop to either record real life images to play back on this window or create moving pictures using somethings called "Ponyshop and Winniedows Movie Maker" Maybe this is one of those."
"Should... should we watch it?" The timid yellow pony asks. "What if it has something... (gulp) scary on it?"
"Fluttershy, relax. This is Twilight we're talking about here. She wouldn't intentionally try to make something like that."
"Well... ok. If you say so, Rainbow."
Moving the small white arrow across the window to where the "video" was, Rainbow clicks it.
It begins with a monstrous deception of an all-too familiar Draconious that appears to stop and crush what looks like Ponyville as sirens and panicking screams of citizens echo throughout the besieged town.
"What... the hay? Is that Discord?!" The blue Pegasus shouts with a look of horror betwixt her face.
The video then transitions to what looks like Applebloom's flank which soon gains a sunflower with a bright smiley face on it.
"Look girls! Ah finally got my Cutie Mark!" She says to her two friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo who look straight up above them and dash like mad away.
"Ah got my Cutie Mark, girls! Girls? Where y'all going?"
The poor unsuspecting filly never saw the growing shadow that appeared before her that sent them running in fear until its owner, Discord's foot, came crashing down upon her with dust scattering in its wake. All three ponies simply stare at the screen with wide mouths and eyes literally dripping with horror and trauma. The title of the video appears on screen accompanied by a an ominous bell being run, happy laughter of a child and soon stands of blood dripping down the letters.
Spike then appears on screen stammering the nonsensical words "Ba ba ba ba ba" as he soon in shown to be riding on the back or Rainbow Dash who says "She she she she" who is then shown to be on Pinkie Pie's back while she says "Ma ma ma ma"
"I'd ask why we're in this now, but I'm wondering what the point of having us say those silly and stupid words was. No offense, Pinkie."
"None taken! Though why would I say " MA MA MAM MAMA MAM MA MA MA!"
The three stop at a conveniently placed wooden shed.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait up, you assholes! What are we doing here?" The cartoon Rainbow asks in a very masculine voice.
"Wha -wh- WHAT?! Why do I sound like a GUY?! Is it because I'm not girly and giddy like any other mares? If I find whoever's bright idea this was..."
"Well, to be fair, Rainbow, you are kind of on the tough side... UNLESS you like being like that, in which case, that's ok."
"Twilight said we have to find something called the "Helements of Armory" Spike says looking at wrongly written words on his arm while his eyes look a sickly red.
"Uhhhhhh... do I wanna know why Spike's eyes are all red?" Pinkie asks.
"No, Pinkie Pie. No you do not" Rainbow soon answers.
"We have to look in Fluttershy's shed."
"Wait a minute! Didn't Fluttershy say something about people going in her shed?" Pinkie Pie asks in a man's voice trying and failing to sound like a girl's.
"Ok ok ok." Pinkie in real life then says in a tone that her friends very seldom hear her speak in: irritation and angry. "1. Why does my voice sound like it's being made to sound poorly imitated ON PURPOSE? 2. Why are Dashie and Spike all on top of my back? Not that it wouldn't be cool to TRY that, but I should be collapsing from the weight of Rainbow Dash ALONE after about 20 seconds. And 3. What the buck is "pee-pole?" Is that like a tadpole made solely out of pees? This is making absolutely NO sense to me, and when I can't understand random stuff going on, we're in trouble."
Getting back to the video, Spike forms a thought bubble which contains a memory of Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle sitting around playing Spin the Bottle, which at this point is about the most normal thing seen in the video. Fluttershy is also seen sitting a good distance away from the others.
"Yo, Fluttershy, you wanna play Spin the Bottle with us?" Dashie asks her, the real life version of which getting angrier and angrier the more she hears a colts voice coming from her mouth. But if she and Pinkie were ticked off at how they sounded, Fluttershy was about to throw a conniption fit at the voice that came from her on screen.
"AHAHAHA! C'mon, you guys! Don't tease me, I'm shy! AHAHAHA! Stay out of my shed."
Dashie and Pinkie then turn their heads to see their usually calm and reserved friend's face twitch and shake while giving the most hate-filled glare one could make.
"What... the BUCK did they do to my voice?! I sound like... like.. like I've been gargling salt water for years on end! This is even WORSE than how I sounded when we were affected by Poison Joke. At least THAT voice sounded dignified in some shape or form. THIS... this is just a straight out slap to the face! I swear, if I find the piece of trash who made this, I'm going to rip thei-"
The yellow Pegasus pony stopped her angry rant short to see her two friends truly frightened by how she was behaving.
"Oh... oh my goodness! I'm SO sorry, girls! I don't know what came over me just now. It's just... who could be so disgustingly mean spirited to make us sound like that?"
"It's ok, Fluttershy" Rainbow Dash says comfortingly with her right wing rested gently over her back. "Believe me, I'm kind of feeling the same way, but we can't let this silly thing push us too far over the edge."
"Yeah," Pinkie says joining in. "The worst they've done portraying us so far is making us sound stupid and annoying. At least we're not hurting anyone or being really mean or anything."
The video then fades to another scene with Dashie and Pinkie. "Yo, I'm bored. Wanna go hang out with Fluttershy?"
"See? We're just hanging out with you. Nothing horrible or nasty or-"
The image of the two ponies beating and kicking something off screen is shown next as they display sickening faces of delight and enjoyment in doing so.
"Hehe, take that, you stupid cunt."
(Dear God, I CAN'T believe I actually forced myself to write that word. I've used all kinds of vulgar language in my other works, but THIS ONE... this just makes me feel ashamed. I promise I'll try and never do it again.)
The scene then shows a bruised and beaten Fluttershy shaking with her front hooves covering her head as the two walk away with Dashie saying "Yeah, welcome to Ponyville, faggot. Bada-boom!"
"Aha! Good one, guys! You really got me. Stay out of my shed, ok?"
But before the three horrified mares could say something in response, the scene one again transitions.
"And this year's prom queen is: Fluttershy!"
"Oh my God!" A Fluttershy in a blue dress and braces says running excitedly on stage. "Now that I've won this, I finally like myself!"
But Dashie and Pinkie stand just behind the stage with the latter holding onto a rope.
"Yo, this is gonna be so totally fucking rad!"
Pinkie pulls the rope, and a bucket comes falling down towards the yellow pony, drenching her in blood. Everyone in the audience gasps as Spike then calls outs "Hey guys, look. Fluttershy's all wet!"
They all begin to laugh and snap pictures in a truly despicable manner.
"Yo, that's my period, you dumb bitch! That's my period!"
(Good Christ, you see what writing this fic is making me say? I feel unclean, literally unclean just by typing the word "period.")
"No! Don't laugh at me! Stop laughing at me! Stay out of my shed! STAY OUT OF MY SHED!"
The flashback then ends as Spike says "I think she said we're always welcome in her shed."
All three mares simply stare at the screen with their mouths wide open and eyes nearly bulging out of their heads. Dashie then emits a high pitched and frightened squeak as Pinkie's left eye begins to twitch uncontrollably. Fluttershy meanwhile, begins to turn a sickly shade of green around her face.
"Good Celestia..." Rainbow Dash manages to say outloud. "This is just... sick."
"If this is somepony's idea of a joke, it's really not funny." Pinkie also says.
And all poor little Fluttershy could manage to utter was "I.. I, I, I,..."
"Ok guys, maybe we should stop watching this thing. I mean, if it can show us THOSE disgusting images and make us act so horribly, I don't wanna know what's next."
"Maybe you're right, Rainbow. But..."
"Why did I keep going on and on for everypony to "stay out of my shed?" What's in it that I desperately don't want anyone seeing?"
"Fluttershy, you can't honestly say you want to keep going. They just had me dump a bucket of..." The cyan Pegasus then shudders at the thought of the image.
"I know, it's just... I have to know what they're going for with this. Something's compelling me to find out."
"Well... I.. Pinkie Pie, what do you think?"
"Well... if Fluttershy has the courage to keep watching after what we just saw, maybe we should keep going too."
"Ok. I just hope we have the stomach for whatever's in store."
The door to the wooden shed creaks open as the light switch is flipped, showcasing the two ponies and dragon staring in horror at dozens of animal skeletons maimed and dissected while mounted on all four walls with their torn open skins covered in their very blood. There was even a pile of brains lying in a corner with the words "Bunny Brain Corner TM" written in blood nearby.
Fluttershy quickly holds her right front hoof to her mouth to prevent herself from violently vomiting.
"Oh my God!" Spike cries out. He then runs over to a nearby cardboard box and pulls out a magazine saying "Look at all this porn!"
As he opens it, Rainbow Dash takes a peek, resulting in her eyes bulging out, her wings suddenly becoming erect and her saying "Swag."
"Umm, Rainbow... what's porn?"
"NOTHING! Just some silly books that someponies make for other older and mature ponies."
"Man, Fluttershy sure has a lot of weird art." The cartoon Pinkie says.
"Yeah, but what do you expect from some quite bitch who spends all her time in the woods with small woodland creatures?"
"Yeah, what a freak! HAHAHAHA!"
"Oh God!" Spike cries out. "Look at what she did to Derpy!"
And there was a regular toaster sitting on a nearby nightstand which had the poor cross-eyed gray Pegasus' skinned remains covering it.
"She turned her into a decorative toaster cozy."
"No... must keep watching... must not give in."
And then, just when the poor terrified fillies thought this literal horror show couldn't get any worse, the hear one of the most spine tingling and scariest of voices say "Hey, hey heeeeeeeey."
The two on-screen ponies and dragon quickly jolt around to the voice's source: a truly demented and twisted looking Fluttershy standing on her two hind legs, with dark shadows covering two menacing looking eyes which lay just about a twisted and insane looking smile.
"What I tell y'all about coming in my shed?!" She screams while pulling out and turning on a chainsaw.
"Well, we're fucked." Spike then says.
Fluttershy then snaps her... suddenly existent yellow fingers while saying "Take it away, fellas."
Just then, all of the skinned animal skeletons begin to play a xylophone like tune by taping their arms against their rib cages. If she wasn't sure something imminently horrible was about to unfold in the next few seconds, Rainbow Dash might have considered it a catchy tune.
And then, the insane Fluttershy began to sing. "I'm gonna sing a song for you!"
Pinkie and Spike waste no time and hurl themselves out nearby windows, leaving Rainbow alone with the psychopathic pegasus as she continued on.
"And I'm gonna show you a thing or two!"
She then pulls a nearby lever switch which traps the blue pegasus in a metal chair as solid steel restraints encase all four of her legs.
"So have a seat, my dear, and if it's all the same, just sit back and relax WHILE I EAT YOUR BRAINS!"
Then, the truly forgone yellow pony thrusts the active chainsaw towards Rainbow's head as the real life ponies all turn their heads away to save their already damaged and fractured psyches the mental image the sight would have planted inside them.
Police sirens are then heard as 2 of some sort of pony-less carriage arrive outside the shed. Two police colts bust through the door and into the wooden structure.
"All right! All right! What's going on in here?"
The scene then cuts to Fluttershy trying her best to give her normal and sane looking face toward the two officers as the halted chainsaw had looked to have gone well past through Rainbow's skull and further toward her chest.
"Umm... this isn't what it looks like?"
A torn half of Rainbow's mutilated body then comes sliding apart to show the truly grizzly and sickening damage her "friend" had done as a sort of laughing crowd is heard.
The scene then transitions to inside a mental ward where two muscular looking pony orderlies drag the restrained murderous pegasus across the floor right before tossing her carelessly into a dark and soft padded room where she just sat motionless in the shadows, her twisted and monstrous looking eyes blank with any kind of emotion at all. Right above the cell, Pinkie Pie and Spike are seen observing their former friend through the barred window.
"Why have things been so weird around here lately?" Spike asks.
Pinkie then responds "My daddy makes me put glass in my vagina."
"Yeah, ok, well, good luck with that." The purple dragon says apathetically while walking away.
It then cuts to one last scene with Discord seeming to hump a 3 story building as the town of Ponyville burns around him.
And then, thankfully, wonderfully and mercifully, the video ends.
No words that Rainbow or Pinkie could think matched the utter and sheer callousness that engulfed this entire experience they unfortunately went through today.
"Equestria and the mother above..." Rainbow was the first that attempted speech after what seemed like eons. "That... that was just pure evil. Every single solitary second was nothing but pure and concentrated horror."
"I... I may make jokes that not everypony would like, but this... whoever had the sick sense of humor to make such an atrocity, it's just freezes my blood."
Suddenly, they noticed they were short one group member.
"Fluttershy?" Where did you go?"
Just then, the very loud and sickening sound of somepony vomiting their innards out could be distinctly heard upstairs through the wide and open door. If anyone felt the full and blunt sting this video gave out, it was her.
Dash's nerves suddenly what little restraint they had left as she nearly explodes with built up angry and rage.
"THAT'S IT! WHAT MISERABLE AND TWISTED SPAWN OF TARTADUS DID THIS?! WHO IN EQUESTRIA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?!
Far away inside the Royal Palace of Canterlot, the eternal Draconious spirit of chaos had a slightly amused smile form across his face as he gazed upon the rainbow-hued mare throwing a loud and angry tantrum.
"Hehehe. Didn't expect to see THAT coming." He says gleefully to himself.
"DISCORD! How could you?!"
The ancient dragon-like chimera turns to see a very angry Princess Celestia seething and almost steaming with angry.
"Exposing that vulgar and detestable display to three innocent mares. I thought you were better than this!"
"Oh, come now, Celestia. It's all for a purpose. I simply wanted to see how a couple of beings from this world would react to a parody of them brought in-world. And I must say, I more expected them to be terrified than angry. I guess everyone's a critic."
"So you just threw all caution for their mental health and well-being away to whet sheer curiosity?!"
"Relax. I can just as easily wiped their minds of this whole event so that none of them will remember what even occurred."
And with a simple snap of his left hand's bird-like talons, the faces of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie shown turn from shocked and traumatized to confused and wide-eyed just as the Hoof-top computer also teleported away back to its previous location in the Castle.
"See? No harm done."
"That still doesn't excuse you scaring those three out of their wits like that. Imagine if you had shown MORE videos like that to say Twilight or Gods FORBID Luna."
"Well at least Luna has something interesting and somewhat flattering going for her like "Gamer Luna." The Hell if I can actually understand the connection between it, but it's still nothing too insulting. Sadly, I can't say the same for you... Molestia."
All of the hairs upon the Sun Princess' head suddenly stand on end from hearing that one word uttered. "What did you call me?"
"What's the matter, Sun-Butt? Can't handle the criticism of the Internet? Maybe you'd like a... mmmmmmm banana."
As Celestia's face continues to contort and twist with unbelievable amounts of angry, it suddenly loosens as a small yet confident smile forms upon it. "Now that you mention it, I have a question for you... Dizzy."
"Do you like...mmmmmm bananas?"
"I... what are you-?"
"It's a simply question, Discord. DO you or do you NOT like... mmmmmmm bananas?"
"C- Celestia, I don't know what your planning, but let's just talk abou-"
"OH! OH! So you are a... mmmmm beeyetch that doesn't know whether or not he likes... mmmmm bananas?"
"Let me just clarify this: you are in fact a... mmmmm beeyetch that doesn't know whether or not he likes... mmmmm bananas!"
"W-www wait, Celestia!"
"Well, I'll tell you where you can find out."
"No NO, PLEASE!"
A trap door suddenly opens up from underneath the Draconious' feet as he falls inside a long and large military grade cannon.
"NO, PLEASE NO!"
"You can find out... ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAHHH!" As Celestia still shouts this, the cannon opens fire, shooting the now screaming spirit of chaos straight out of the castle and towards the barely visible day-time moon. "BEEEEEYEEEEEEETCH!"
After panting from yelling so hard, the satisfied Sun Princess then says to herself "I really must thank Pinkie Pie for building a military sized version of her Party Cannon for me."
"OH! You're welcome Princess!" The Pink Earth Pony in question suddenly yells behind her causing the surprised Alicorn Princess to promptly faint.
"Hello? Princess? Huh, guess I over did it."
She then turns and faces no one in partic.. wait, what?
"I guess that's all you guys are getting out of this fanfic. Isn't the Internet just filled with references just waiting to be applied?"
Ok, what in the Hell is she doing? Is the story just writing itself now?
"Hey, hey hey hey, Jedi. Just shut up and let me keep talking, alright?"
NO! This is MY Goddamn fanfic that I Goddamn posted. I don't care if you ARE aware of the "allusive 4th Wall." I'm not letting you take control without my consen-
(Pinkie pulls out a bazooka.)
OH, COME THE F**K ON!
"Any more comments or retorts or would you actually like me to fire a bazooka missile through the screen of your computer monitor?"
Which no one can actually see.
"Hey, if they can IMAGINE it happening, it's just as good as seeing it. Now DO you want to test me?"
Ugggh... fine, you win. Just promise me you won't randomly pop up in any more of my stories.
"I will make no such promises. Anywhose, glad you all liked this and if you're questioning how I seem to remember the video after Discord wiped my memory of it... good for you. And before you ask in the reviews, YES Alex MIGHT do a follow up with Party dot mov and the other Hotdiggedydemon videos sometime in the future. Just send a vote in the reviews to let us know which one. And if it's Party dot mov , don't worry. I'll still act surprised when I see it. I mean, I acted surprised when Twilight became an Alicorn, didn't I? See you alls later!"
(Jetpack grows out of Pinkies back as she flies out of castle)
O_O Yeah, so, umm... THAT happened. Better do as she says, people. I WOULDN'T cross her if I were you. I'm gonna go hide now.