10A/N: Minor revisions as of 9/29/16.
Chapter One: Oops
Luffy laughed giddily as he ran across Sunny's lawn deck, stretching an arm out and grasping the wooden rail ahead of him. He shot himself forward, landing (smoothly, even!) on the high deck. The sky was absolutely clear. The water was completely still. And there was meat in the galley, right through the door he was standing before. Actual, real, delicious meat! He could smell it.
And best of all, his string of misfortune was finally over. Everything was back to normal again! He'd have his "devil's luck" back in no time!
Luffy pushed open the galley door and strolled in with a confident grin. The young captain was too transfixed on following his nose to even notice his crew.
"Meat! Meat! Meat!" he chanted happily, walking past the table of silent Straw Hats to the counter.
There, placed on a large platter, was a giant, beautiful pile of thick, juicy medallions. The rubber boy giggled in uncontained glee as he picked up the plate and dumped its contents into his mouth. His stomach bulged out a bit, giving him a plump appearance. He rubbed it with a happy sigh, before his eyes began to search the counter for more.
"Luffy…"
The Straw Hat captain froze, his eyes growing wide. Luffy placed the platter down carefully and took a slow step away from the counter. There was no avoiding a kick, he knew, but he'd be in a lot more trouble if Sanji accidentally destroyed his own dish while delivering it.
Luffy slowly turned to face Sanji, only to see that it was his entire crew watching him. And what was with that look they were giving him!?
The captain laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand, "sorry, Sanji!"
"Luffy," it was Robin this time, and she didn't sound too happy with him.
Luffy frowned. Robin never got upset when he stole food. Maybe she was hungry, too.
"-where's the groll?"
"Huh?"
"The sponge! Where's the sponge, Luffy!?" Nami demanded, standing up from her seat and leaning across the table.
"Oh, the evil sponge?"
Eight heads nodded, waiting attentively for his answer.
Luffy stood akimbo and smiled proudly.
"I gave it away!"
"YOU WHAT!?"
The roar nearly knocked Luffy off his feet, but his smile didn't falter. "I gave it away! Oh, but don't worry, I gave it to a bad guy. His ship's leaving soon, so it's fine!"
Luffy laughed. Then it grew quiet.
The crew and captain stood in silence, the latter too inattentive to realize that his crew was staring at him in disbelief.
Everything that happened after that moment was so fast and panicked, that Luffy could barely keep track of what was going on.
"You idiot…" Zoro growled, slapping his palm to his forehead.
"Waaaaaa!" Chopper was suddenly clinging to Luffy's leg, his eyes filling with tears, "don't die, Luffy!"
"Wha-" Luffy started, looking up to ask his crew what had gotten into their pint-sized physician. His voice died in his throat and his eyes widened in apprehension as Nami's enraged visage came into view.
"Luffy, you idiot!" Nami growled, her fist coming down on the crown of his head.
"Oowww!" Luffy's hands shot up to protect the lump that was now growing there.
"Nami, you really shouldn't hit him until we get the groll back!" Chopper warned, releasing his grip on his captain.
Luffy looked over at the table, to the nakama who weren't attacking him, clearly hoping for a clue as to what was going on. Robin was flipping rapidly through an old book as if her life depended on it.
"It'll be fine if we just get it back, right!?" Usopp was asking, looking panicked as he looked over Robin's shoulder.
Brook was sitting down and leaning his back against the hull. His mouth opened wide. His soul, green and wispy, departed from his body.
"Don't worry, Luffy-san! I'll find that man, or die try- oh! Wait! I'm already dead! Yohoho!" Brook exclaimed, his laughter fading out as he disappeared through the hull.
Zoro and Sanji walked past Luffy on either side, both heading for the door. Luffy cocked his head in confusion. What the hell was going on with his crew?
Sanji turned around when Luffy didn't follow. "What the hell are you waiting for? Let's go."
Luffy's brow furrowed. The confusion was quickly being supplemented by frustration.
"Where?"
"To get your shitty sponge back, where the hell else!?" The cook asked impatiently.
"Franky," Nami called, getting the cyborg's attention, "Usopp and I will take the Mini Merry. If that sailor's ship already left, it shouldn't be far."
"But why?" Luffy asked. His question was lost in the commotion.
"You've got it, sis!"
"Hey, what's all this about?" Luffy tried again. Sanji was walking again and Zoro was already half way through the doorway.
"I'm going to head into town," Robin said, standing. She closed her book and held it to her chest. "If there's a way to break the link, the villagers may know."
"I'll go, too!" Chopper insisted.
"Someone should really-"
"STOP!"
The Straw Hats froze in place, all eyes turning to their captain.
"Jeez," Luffy complained, frowning at his nakama, "what's gotten into you guys?! I just got rid of that thing, why the hell would I want it back!?"
The Straw Hats' surprise quickly turned into realization.
"Don't you listen to anything we tell you?" Nami sighed, shaking her head, "Robin warned you to keep that thing safe until we figured out what it was!"
"Huh? Robin said that?" Luffy asked, looking over to his dark-haired archaeologist.
"Robin-chan figured it out while you were gone" Sanji said, crossing his arms.
"You were right, Luffy, the groll is alive," Robin explained, "it's symbiotic in nature, feeding off of the misfortune of its owner and growing stronger from it. The stronger it gets, the more co-dependent the groll and host become. If they're moved far enough apart, for a long enough time, the owner will always die."
Luffy blinked once.
Twice.
Thrice.
"In other words," Robin continued, reading Luffy's blank expression, "if we don't find that groll in the next twenty-four hours, you will die."