A/N- I do not own Harry Potter. I make no money from this fic.
Hermione was in tears. Ron was cheating on her, had dumped her, and now he'd made it so that she was fired from her job. She sat on the Burrow's front steps, wishing she could hide. "Hermione?" She looked up to see George sit down next to her. "What'd he do?"
She ticked it off on her fingers, "Cheated on me, dumped me, got me fired."
George wrapped his arm around her, "I'd say I'm sorry but honestly you could do better." She leaned against him, "Which are you more upset about?"
"The fact that he brought the tramp here tonight," she whispered. "She keeps giving me this look of smugness and arrogance like 'Oh look at me I'm with knut-boy now! Lucky me you aren't enough woman for him,'" Hermione ceased her impersonation of the tramp and George chuckled at her impersonation.
"Wait, knut-boy? Why are you calling him that?"
"Because he's as small as a knut," she answered. George indicated his own penis and Hermione nodded, which made George laugh hysterically at her confession.
George laughed so hard he couldn't breathe and collapsed on the ground, falling off the stairs; then he settled down, "Well if the tramp and knut-boy are in there, let's go." He offered her his hand to stand.
Hermione looked up at him, "Go where?"
"To the pub to get you rip-roaring drunk, of course," George answered, pulling her up, "I'll make sure you don't do anything untoward and I'll make sure you're safe tonight. Because I know one thing, Hermione Granger, and that is that I will not be in the same room as that tramp. In fact," George cast the sonorous charm over the house, "ATTENTION WEASLEY FAMILY- I, GEORGE WEASLEY, WILL NOT BE VISITING YOU ANYTIME SOON SO LONG AS YOU ACCEPT THAT CHEATING ARSE AND HIS TWO-BIT SLAG INTO THIS HOUSE. WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE APOLOGIZING TO HERMIONE YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME." He ceased the spell and looked at her, "Shall we?"
"You're pretty wonderful George Weasley."
"About time you noticed," he teased, leading her away and Apparating with her.
Just two hours later, after a quick meal of fish and chips and plenty of appetizers and 6 cocktails, Hermione was well past rat-arsed. And boy was she letting it out. George heard about how Ron would never have passed Hogwarts had they not received honorary NEWTs (although Hermione and George had both sat for their own tests last year to earn their grades, which had actually both been excellent), how Ron's jealousy was no doubt stemming from his knut condition (George giggled every time this was referenced) and how she was much better off without the arrogant, ignorant muppet. He was surprised at how filthy her language got the more she imbibed, but that was the point of this night.
Shortly after one a.m. George paid their tab and took Hermione back to his loft above the shop. He found a hangover potion and sat it on his nightstand, then handed her a t-shirt and some boxer shorts of his, "Go get changed into these," he said.
"Thank you George," she smiled, moving to his bathroom to change. When she emerged she crawled into the bed, "Tonight was fun."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said, getting his own sleeping clothes, "I'll just go stay on the couch," he said.
"No stay I can't take your bed," she said, reaching for him. "I don't want to sleep alone George. Please?"
Well George always had had a hard time turning down Hermione. He nodded and changed, then climbed into the bed and lay down next to her. Hermione leaned against him, "You kept me safe and let me rant."
"I told you, tonight was to get you rip-roaring drunk," he held her and they went to sleep, George feeling more content than he was ready to admit to the sensitive, recently heartbroken girl.