"Dave, for fuck's sake, get your lazy ass off the couch."
For once, the blond didn't even crack a smirk at the way his boyfriend said the word ath. Ridiculous as it was, his lisp was simultaneously the most adorable and irritating thing he had ever heard. Boyfriend... Matesprit? Whatever. The asshole could have his stupid alien terminology and he would keep his human, thank you very much.
"No." The right half of the knight's face was smushed against the armrest, muffling the word slightly. When he flipped onto his back, his cheek had a red criss-cross pattern etched deep into his pale skin, his glasses askew. He didn't bother to adjust them, a glimpse of red visible over the top of the right lens. He didn't care. What were red eyes to an alien with a forked tongue and telekinesis?
"Why the fuck not?" The psionic had his arms crossed over his chest, an anime anger mark practically visible on his temple and wow, Dave had been spending way too much time talking to Dirk.
"Don't wanna." Dave's right hand found its way behind his head, messing up his stupid hipster hair even more than it had been.
"Strider. I'm going to lift you up to the ceiling and drop you on your head." Sollux's threats never were as deadpan as Dave's, an edge of irritation in his voice.
"I'd like to see you try." The human barely glanced up at him.
Alright, he had a point, much to the troll's chagrin. When he'd actually had some rest, lifting someone – even someone as ridiculously lanky as Dave – wasn't a problem. But, even with the voices in his head dulled to a soft whisper as the number of imminently deceased decreased, his nightmares hadn't stopped. The lack of sopor on this stupid new planet hadn't helped that. He chalked up his resistance to attempting to sleep to the "thousand things he had to code". Just to prove his point, he took his husktop with him everywhere in the house, and, unless someone literally yanked it out of his hands and hid it, everywhere outside, too.
Really, the only times he left it were when Dave dragged him out of their room for food, cleanliness, or some form of social interaction. Usually either kicking and screaming or half-asleep.
Of course, the human's supposed indifference made those visits fairly seldom. What was far more common was the time payer simply "hanging out" in the same room as him for a few hours. If it became apparent that Sollux hadn't eaten in a day or slept or bathed in more than two, that was when Dave intervened. Otherwise, it was countless hours of just talking. About their friends, video games, how the world was developing, and, when they could both stomach it, the game.
Most conversations ended up peppered with complaints of Dave being bored, of Sollux needed to concentrate, and/or the rest of their friends having set up their houses too far away (though none were more than ten minutes on that ridiculous motorcycle that Dave had alchemized and could barely even ride without having to freeze time so they didn't crash into some tree). And kisses. Dave always ended up scooting whatever he was sitting on – a bean bag, another rolly chair, a table, or, on more than one occasion, the bed – and, somehow, that always led to kissing. Whether they were the quick, soft ones in the middle of a conversation that made the receiver roll his eyes behind his glasses, or the ones that started out soft, but slowly built in intensity until one was yanked into the other's lap, or the dreaded pecks on the cheek that neither would admit ever happened because those were far too sappy and emotional for coolkids of their caliber, they were simple facts of life for the both of them.
Which was exactly why Sollux was staring at the blond on the couch with forehead creased and his fangs digging into his bottom lip in frustration.
He hadn't come in today. Not once.
The mage hadn't even noticed until ten at night. He was used to letting himself get sucked into his work and letting his stupid, hipster matesprit be his link with the real world. Of course, it wasn't like he didn't have other friends. But, unless they someone actually left their house, for once, he could really only communicate with them through his computer. Or his dreams. Besides, his time on the meteor made their ever-looming presence so normal that the – auditory, at least – silence was strange. And, while Dave couldn't exactly replace KK's shouting and TZ's cackling, he was there. And, hell, he cared, unlike half of them.
Fuck, this is getting way too sentimental.
Besides, he was good company. They had the same interests, for the most part, and the parts they didn't share – music and coding, for example – were what really made conversations interesting. Talking to him helped quiet the whispers of the voices, without making everything go eerily silent. And the kisses certainly weren't a downside. And then, of course, there was the fact that the troll was so flushed for him he was surprised he didn't just mutate on the spot so that his blood turned candy fucking red, but that wasn't the point.
"Have you just been lying here all day?" Smooth transition, idiot.
"Pretty much." The e was dragged out so that his normally light Texan accent became a comically exaggerated drawl, a sound that usually would have made the mustard blood crack a smile. Instead, he just pursed his lips slightly, irritation still practically radiating off of him. Well, the best he could without his fangs piercing his skin.
"Why?" There was still just an edge of annoyance to his voice, frustration forming tension lines around the corners of his mouth.
"Because the couch and I are in love. Sorry, Captor, but you'll never beat the plush, jagged-edged comfort of this cheap-ass sofa." As if to prove a point, the blond rolled back over onto his side, his cheek scraping against the scratchy fabric and his glasses going completely diagonal across his nose. He still didn't fix them. "Her name is Gertrude and, no, she will not participate in a threesome."
"Strider." Now there was an undertone of irritation in Sollux's voice, wishing he could get a straight answer out of the the asshole, for one, dammit. His stupid little puns were bad enough without him consciously trying to be a douchebag.
"I'm bored, numbnutth." The noise was barely enough to be considered mocking, just enough to make Sollux roll his eyes.
"So you spent the last twelve hours doing nothing. Fucking productive, aren't you?" The troll's arms tightened over his chest, black claws contrasting sharply with the light gray skin of his arms.
"Eleven. Do I even need to say anything about the time you spent three days straight playing fucking Minecraft? God damn, even McNubbs-a-Lot kept calling to ask if you'd taken your eyes off of your screen yet. TZ was still just cackling in the background, but you get my fucking point."
"That... That is not a fair comparison!" A hint of yellow shone through his cheeks. "At least I was doing something!"
"You were building a castle out of pixels, dude." As per usual, the only hint of expression on Dave's face was a dull, bored skepticism.
"What the fuck ever, asshole." This time, Dave's eyes actually softened a bit in amusement at the annoyance on the Gemini's face. Alright, maybe this was working a little better than the troll thought. "At least I talked to you." That didn't mean he wasn't still pissed off.
And now Dave's face blanked again, his eyebrows pulling together slightly in confusion, half of his eyes still covered, making the expression almost comical. "Wait, what?"
"You haven't even checked in on me once all day." The teeth-grinding frustration ebbed into mild annoyance and a little bit of hurt. Audibly.
Fuck. Fuck. He didn't want the douchebag to think he actually really cared about- Oh, who was he kidding? Strider wasn't that much of an idiot. Why would he be there if he didn't care?
Stupid mood swing.
"That's what this stupid intervention is about?" Dave was actually smirking now, an irritatingly cocky little tilt to his lips, though what could be seen of his eyes was too soft of be mocking. "You missing the Strider charm?"
Dull yellow blood rushing upward under thick, gray skin, making Sollux's cheeks look like the yield on a dying stop light. "Douchebag, it isn't your fucking charm I'm missing."
Dave scoffed, though the lack of a shield over his eyes made it impossible for him to pretend that the curve of his lips was anything other than an actual smile. "Mind telling me what, then?"
And there was that shock of irritation again, sparks of anger coursing through him, arms shooting down by his side as his hands balled into fists. Judging by Dave's look of intrigue, he didn't miss the way the troll's entire body tensed up.
"You, asshat!" the mustard-blood exclaimed, arms flying out for evidence, claws leaving little marks against his palms as his fingers splayed out in the middle of the air. "Just... you! I kind of fucking need you there, Strider!"
Now Dave looked purely entertained, his shades starting to slip back into place as he pushed himself into a sitting position, hiding the warmth in his eyes. "Need, huh? That's a pretty fucking strong word there, Capt- Whoa, what the fuck?!"
His snark was cut off by him being yanked right up off of the couch, sparks of blue and red energy crackling around him. His heels were two feet off of the ground, arms and legs immobilized as he was pulled closer.
"Captor, what the hell do you think you- Mmph!" Again he was cut off, this time by slender fingers attaching to his collar and yanking him down so that rough, black lips could crash into his own.
The noise of surprise quickly melted into a softer one of contentment as the blond's feet touched back down on the floor, the hardwood cold enough to be felt through his thin socks. The hard kiss broke off soon enough, glasses catching together for just a moment before Dave's were yanked off of his face and tossed halfway across the room, Sollux's hands still on his shirt.
"Hey, what-" the human started, eyes widening in surprise.
"I'm not going to let our shades get stuck together again." Sollux still had to look up a few inches for them to see eye to eye. He never was the tallest troll, but he was far, far from the shortest. It wasn't his fault that his matesprit was ridiculously tall. "Besides, we're... dating, or whatever that stupid human word is, right? I should be able to see your eyes when we kiss."
"Yes, Captor, we're human dating." There was that amusement again. "One condition. Let's at least make this fair." With that, he reached up, grabbed hold of one of the other's mismatched lenses, yanked the pair off of his face, and tossed them off to the side.
"Hey, wait, those are-" This time, Sollux was the one cut off, again by a kiss, the knight's hands settling on the mage's hips. He kept kisses softer, each lasting for a few seconds before breaking off, just long enough for the troll to try to edge in a few words.
"I need tho- Strider, I mean i- Those are impor- Strider- Mmmm..."
Even as he spoke, the psionic's hands had drifted back until his arms were looped around Dave's neck, echoing the blond's left wrapping around his waist, the troll's claws leaving eight tiny holes in the collar of his sweatshirt. The human's right hand was cupping Sollux's jaw, gently tilting his head to the right for better access to his mouth. The little pecks had gotten deeper and deeper, the troll pulled closer and closer until their chests were pressed together and Sollux was gasping for air from struggling to speak when he was supposed to be breathing.
"No, please, Captor, keep talking."
The Texan's cocky little smirk was met with a glare. "You're so lucky I pity you, asshole."
He was pulled into another kiss before he could respond.